we are together at the moment but we keep fighting and he said if things dont work out he'll take her. everything ive read online says fathers have the same parental rights meaning he could and i dont no what to do. i dont think it will go that far but i want to ready just incase.
2006-07-08 10:51:28 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Talk to a local attorney immediately...whether you are together or not. Laws differ in different areas and you need to inform yourself of your possible options and rights in your specific area.
Also, get some counselling, either together or by yourself as soon as possible. You also need to get a handle on your emotions and must learn how to not let him manipulate you with these threats.
2006-07-08 10:57:01 · answer #1 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only are laws different in each state, but the biggest factor may be if you are legally married or could be considered common-law. Is this the case or is he just your "boyfriend"? If he's threatening you, that should surely be a sign that you might reconsider whether a person like this is fit to be a father. Does he realize what kind of responsibilities are obligated of him by the state, especially if you're not legally married? Even if you're living together, if you get any kind of state aid at all, they will track him down immediately to pay child support and to get medical benefits if he has any available through work. Even if you can't or don't go to a family counselor, consider talking the situation over confidentially with a social worker or your DHS caseworker.
I have one daughter, now 12, that when her biological father and I broke up, it was really hard to say what the future would look like. He hasn't ended up choosing to be in her life at all, though he put up a bit of a stink while I was pregnant. Eventually, the court established a child support order which is being enforced through the state, and she receives benefits despite the fact that we were never married, he's never met her, and so forth. But he was so young (as was I) at the time of her birth, he finally had to admit to himself and me that he didn't feel that he had anything to offer as a father.
It's you're body and the baby is with you. If you have chosen to be the baby's mother, and you are not clinically insane or deemed unfit, you have MANY MANY rights available to you. The state wants kids to stay with their mothers if their mothers want to care for their kids. If he's a first time father, he doesn't really know what he's getting himself into by saying that he'd take her from you; this sounds like a scare tactic, and that he might need some counseling. But I would suggest getting counseling for yourself first and foremost since your health on all levels will affect your baby.
Good luck. Contact me if you need to talk.
2006-07-08 18:08:04 · answer #2 · answered by Celestial Tree Deva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you could be considered an unfit mother, than by all means he can take her. But if not, mother usually has more rights over taking care of a baby (and to be honest, is usually more capable of it anyway). Especially if you are breastfeeding - this can be very strong ammunition in the courts. (okay i dont know this for sure but I would imagine it would be - and its good for the baby anyway).
Men don't realize how much work a baby really is. And he's probably trying to scare you. Have you thought about going to counselling together? All the stress of fighting is hard on you and your baby, and you need as light a load as you can get right now...
2006-07-08 18:18:04 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's using it as ammo against you to control you.. he knows you love the baby and is saying those things to make you feel like there is noway you can leave... You can though.. He has to prove you as a very unfit mother before any judge would take a baby away from it's mother... he if any thing will get visitation which would be every other weekend... plus to pay child support.. but if your not on drugs or have some kind of whacked out mental condition he's just blowing off hott air.. Don't fret...
2006-07-08 18:03:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry honey. This man sounds like a flake. He wouldn't know the first thing about taking care of a newborn first of all. If I were you, I wouldn't put his name on the birth certificate. This way he can never take her. If you do, yes he'll be financially responsible and you may end up in court fighting for custody. Don't do anything to slip up or he'll hold it against you. Talk to a lawyer and tell him nothing! Good luck honey. This is why you should get married first. You play you pay.
2006-07-08 18:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by noitall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope it is not true. My younger sister is going to have a baby and she is only 18. The baby's father said if she doesn't keep the baby he will sue her. I think he is going to try to do the same thing and take the baby. Him and his family really want a baby because his ex-girlfriend had a still born baby. I think he is just using my sister, but she won't listen to anyone. I think women should have the rights because they are the ones giving birth.
2006-07-08 18:16:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't put him down as a father, he has no rights. But then you can not collect child support either. In most cases though the sourt rules in favor of the mother as long as you can take care of your baby. I would however call an attorney and ask there advice though. You can usually get a free consultation so you can have less stress dureing your pregnancy. GOOD LUCK!!
2006-07-08 17:58:31 · answer #7 · answered by carebarri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to scare you. Don't worry a father can not take the baby away from you unless he can prove you're an unfit mother. Fathers do have rights, but not rights to just up and take children away from their mothers. He can get joint custody or visitation rights since he is the father.
2006-07-08 18:11:26 · answer #8 · answered by Angie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can he brest feed the baby? can he change diapers? can he stay awake and alert all the night ? can he be warm as a mother does? can he take good care of the baby? can he stay at home with baby(or he will take the baby to office or where ever he goes)? can he understand what the baby says with the eyes like mothers do???.... if YES to all these Q's so then give the baby to him. and by the way i have heard that every where in the world womens rights come first.
2006-07-08 18:53:07 · answer #9 · answered by fed up 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my bf fight about this too. i say dont let him sign the birth certificate. but my bf says it depends on who is fit and able to take care of the baby like who has a job and makes the money he said liven with ur parents and them paying for most of every thing doesnt count but i beg to differ. but try and work it out and try to stay together for the baby.
2006-07-08 17:57:08 · answer #10 · answered by raver_love420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋