Do you like my new poem????

Question

u told me you loved me
u told me you'd never leave

i believed you
now your gone

how could you do this?

you said it'd be fine
you said you'd come back

but now your gone

you've lied to me
you've hurt me

and now i'm broken
you've broken me

Kaila 7/7/06

i don't mind people using my poems but pleez pleez pleez don't say you wrote it at leat gimme credit

Answer 1

Lacks passion. I can't feel your pain. Instead it just sounds
generic. I admire your enthusiasm and I'm not trying to be mean.

Answer 2

'but now *you're* gone' my dear. Your means belonging to the person, you're is you are. Correct grammer, very important.
Your work seems very heartfelt, like a plea, a cry. I like it because it appeals to the part of me that fears, and because I know what you speak of. As far as poems go it could be deeper and more thought provokative. I tend to like the artistic and abstract. However, that's just a matter of taste.

Answer 3

I write poems and stuff wait i'm about to make up one


I never ment to hurt you,never ment to make you go away
But now i'm crying here today

Tell me you won't leave or forbed me again
But know i've created a love sin



-WHAT ABOUT IT??

Answer 4

It is a pretty nice poem. You are really talented. Maybe you can compile a list of all of your poems and publish them someday. I am serious. And when your poems are published, please let me know and I will be sure to get a copy.

Answer 5

Eh, it's a good start. Hope you bounce back from the heartbreak, soon.

Answer 6

Yes I do like it very much.

Answer 7

i think it would be so much better if you put some more expressive words in it. i would say it's a good start for something better.

Answer 8

Meh, a little too literal.

Answer 9

Yes I do like it!

Answer 10

ur good i like it can i get a copy