Not really gay?

Question

I notice that a lot of people (men or women) become gay just to seek shelter.
no, i dont think the answer is because they are bisexual. perhaps because
the gay community is somewhat more tolerant? "nobody's perfect"?

to name some of the characteristics of them:
1. shy people (never figure out how to flirt)
2. men losing faith of a broken relationship with women, or the other way
around..
3. men/women with physical "defect" like short people, small feet/hands,
big head, humpback, overweight ppl, men with big butt (kindof feminine shaped
body), men with small penis, or just simply unattractive..
4. girls who want to date gay men (even if only as a "cover" for him) for not
having sex (keep their virginity) until mariage.. or having only anal or oral
sex.. which sometimes are not considered "real" sex act


.. of course these things you cannot find out by asking them directly as
they will deny..

but anybody's seen what I've seen?? also if you seen another example sha

I just want to add that to these kind of people, our society can act very cruel making their life horribly difficult.. in the end they found their shelter in the gay community which are more tolerant and accepting..in return of their support..

please not to take this offensive.

I live in Barcelona Spain. I am straight, but I live the center of the biggest gay comunity I have ever seen. My observation is on the closest people around me.. friends. I know real gay people. I also see the other grup, which I don't believe are real gay. That is why I wonder if anybody else notice this trend.

Answer 1

and where do you hang out...

Answer 2

EVERYBODY NEEDS SHELTER!

its not as if, anyone can really be independently self sufficient. Sooner or later he/she is going to need the company of other men/women. THIS DOES NOT MAKE YOU GAY, this makes you human. And that's okay.

Also, it could be a culture thing. Gay People from America will act differently from Gay people from say, Spain. It is just how you were brought up.

I mean, if you grew up in a loving environment - You will develop a good self image of yourself and not loathe your "true-self". Have you looked in the mirror lately?

On the other hand if all your growing up included getting beat up by other boys who think that they can take you because they think you're gay (i.e. weak)

They didn't what hit they when I fouhgt back.

When all the adults look away and pretend theres nothing wrong. It's okay, they're being kids... I'd be a pissed off Adult.

If I grew up being taunted by my church that I will go to hell - believing in eternal damnation with nothing I can do to prevent it.

That my life is unimportant because I am an aberration to the norm. When your teachers pretend they don't see when you are being tortured by your classmates. When the role models you see all around you stand up and point and laugh at gay people because, its the thing to do.

How scary is that for someone developing a self image devoid of hate and confusion?

No... YOU ARE GAY BECAUSE YOU ARE GAY

A lot of the gay people I see around me have nice buffed bodies, with beautiful faces and thick hair. Though there will be troll every so often. The pretty ones are the one who loved themselves enough to do something about it. Defects comes in every social strata and will be forever present. But defects do not make you gay.

They will deny they are gay if they are afraid and are aware that you can do them harm. Besides, why would I open up my heart to you - when I hardly even know you?

I think you got it all wrong. You have just described the human condition. Not a specific "GAY" Condition. People need People. People need Love and acceptance - and if we can't get that, we will settle for respect. Gay People are People like you.

The best kind of people I know are those who are comfortable in their own skin and are not afraid to be who they are. Be they Gay, Straight or what have you? I AM NOT BROKEN.

Answer 3

I never thought about it really, I have noticed that I am attracted in friendship to people who are thoughtful, not racist, not the type to slap someone down when they have an idea that some might see as kinda nutty. I have many gay friends, more than what the odds would be for the average population. I think because of the courage required to be different, maybe someone who is gay is more likely to have the strength to allow a difference in others

Answer 4

I don't think there's too many types of people you left out. So...according to this, EVERYONE should be gay!

Ever think that shy people are shy because they're gay and have had to hide for half their life? That the man's relationship with a woman is in trouble BECAUSE HES GAY? I can tell you I've seen very few "physical defects", anyways in the people I know. I think you're seeing what you want to see.

Answer 5

You make a few good points...I am gay..I have no desire to date women.. I am attracted to men only...Having been "out" since I was 13 years old, and am now 26.. I can say that I never in my life have ever felt an attraction to women other then as friends..I can say that in todays socity being "BI" is somewhat cool. Many use it as a safety net as they are gay and arn't willing to "come out" all the way. Others feel that they say that to fit in and or shock others. (kinda the same way a lot of kids become Wiccan) the shock value

Answer 6

You're not born gay, so that meana you can choose whether or not you would like to be gay. There's isn't a definite answer. If that's what you want then go for it, if not, then don't worry about it.

Answer 7

People become gay to seek shelter? Why would someone become something that would marginalize them and cause them to be discriminated against? Just to hide in a community of people like them? That's ridiculous. I know many people that are not gay or lesbian that possess all or some of the traits you highlighted; likewise, I know many gay and lesbian people that do not possess any of those traits. I think your approach may be barking up the wrong tree.

Answer 8

No, this is not true. In my opinion, it is just as easy for an overweight man with a big head to find a woman to be with as it would be for him to find a man to be with. And is being short or having small hands or feet really a defect? I like my small hands and many people find shorter girls and boys to be the cutest.

Answer 9

no one "becomes" gay. you either are, or you aren't. some people take longer than others to figure it out. growing up in a family where it's frowned upon, or if they are closed-minded Bible-thumper types, or they've been raised to believe being gay is wrong or bad for some reason....some people may suppress their feelings for a long time because they were taught they were wrong. I went through a lot of my teen years confused...but finally came out to myself. I know a lot of people (my partner included) who even did as what was expected of them and got married and even had children....then finally decided to stop living the lie and live their true self.
no one "becomes" gay just to "seek shelter."
I'm not sure where you came up with your theories...
are you not gay yourself? or are you making assumptions about the gay community?

Answer 10

wow, you are totally off base with this one... I don't know anyone who has decided to be gay because they want to hid from reality and if there is anyone like that out there, then they need to seriously reconsider this random choice. While I've found the queer community to be much more accepting of normal people (you know, the not so magazine type), I would certainly that the homophobic and heterosexist backlash should discourage anyone from falsely accepting this identity.

Answer 11

first of all, why are you asking about a lifestyle you know absolutely nothing about?
secondly, the gay community isn't as tolerant as you portray it to be. it can be just as hard to be excepted in the gay community as it is the straight community-and most times it's even harder.
thirdly, your "characteristics" show just how incredibily stupid and small minded you are, which is sad since europe is supposed to be more open minded, which of course if you're even really in spain-which is debatable.