is this too much?

Question

i've been having sex with my fiancee every day twice a day for about 9 months already, is that weird? or bad?

we have been living together for the past 9 months

Answer 1

It's not weird at all. Twice a day is a completely reasonable frequency; we dropped down to twice a day after we'd been married for two or three years. (We had both left relationships in which our exes thought we were freaks for wanting sex so much, so when we got together we spent the first year or two exploring to see where each others' limits were. Once we realized we were pretty evenly matched, we settled into a rhythm of what we really wanted.)

Is it bad? It COULD be, if it's causing any stress in the relationship. If one of you feels pressured to "keep up," then it's too much. And if you're asking this question, I suspect you may be starting to feel a little burnout, yes? That's also not weird. Sexual compatibility is not only about finding someone who wants it as often as you do (whether that's twice a day or twice a month), it's also about being able to say "You know, I'd really enjoy it a lot more in the morning/after the bleeding stops/once we stop the car, and I'll be a lot better able to make sure YOU enjoy it then, too."

No, let me rephrase that -- it isn't about being able to SAY it, it's about being able to HEAR it without getting grumpy and kicking your shoes down the hall. Took me about a quarter of a century to get to that point. (Men, did you know that you will NOT actually explode and die a horrible grisly death if every erection you get doesn't result in an ejaculation? It's amazing! In fact, sometimes sex is actually BETTER if you wait a day!)

One of the most difficult lessons for me to learn, as our sex life shifted over time and with the arrival of kids and other responsibilities in our lives, was that counting sexual frequency becomes a straight numbers game, rather than an expression of what you want and how much you love the one you're with. For YEARS I would think "she only made love with me nine times this week, and last week she made love with me fourteen, obviously she only loves me 64.2% as much THIS week as she did LAST week."

There were two major breakthroughs for me that helped sex be a LOT more satisfying, even though we're having less OF it on a stricly by-the-numbers basis than we did when we were 23 and still exploring these neat new toys we'd stumbled upon (each others' bodies, that is). The most important breakthrough came from exploring the difference between sex and intimacy -- that is, in really teasing apart the sexual release from the being close with each other. And that's something we really only did a few years ago; I wish I'd started this in my late twenties. Consider this a wedding gift to you and your fiancee: Start a conversation about what you consider sexual, and what you consider intimate. There can be overlap, of course -- the best sex is VERY intimate, but not all intimacy has to end in sex.

One of the most intimate things we do together: while lying on the bed watching TV in the evening, my sweetie pets the small of my back, from roughly waist to tailbone, alternately scratching lightly with her fingernails and stroking with the flat of her hand. I LOVE this -- now I know why cats arch their backs and lean into you when you scratch THEIR backs this way. Going the other way, my wife gets muscular knots between her shoulder blades and her spine, and I love to spend HOURS in the evening watching movies with her and working out the stiffness in her back or calves. Hey, I'm naked with the woman I love, she's all soft and pink from a nice hot shower, she's stretched out in front of me or has her legs draped in my lap and I'm rubbing her all over her body; what's not to like about that?

So I've learned that I'm satisfied with a sexual release roughly every other day (by the third day I start getting jittery; even after my vasectomy I had to try it out a day and a half post-op) -- but I can have HOURS of intimacy with my wife EVERY day. We make a point of spending hours every evening holding each other, with as much skin-to-skin contact as we can, stroking and embracing one another and being consciously intimate. Sometimes it turns into sex. Sometimes it's so sweet it doesn't have to.

The other breakthrough was learning how to have multiple orgasms. So even though I "only" have that sexual release three or four days a week, usually at least one of those events result in a cluster of six or seven separate peaks (though it's hard to keep track of them after the third or fourth), spread over a period of two or three minutes. So the frequency may be down, but the intensity is WAAAAAY up. That's a tradeoff I'm very happy with.

I encourage you and your fiancee to explore this question of sex and intimacy together -- asking the questions about where they overlap and where they differ has brought me great satisfaction, a terrific sex life, and an unmatched feeling of closeness with my wife of 27 years. May you have the same!

Answer 2

i imagine it really is an really stunning outfit! in case you do not imagine curiously excellent although upload some thing to it or replace the way your wearing it like tuck the blouse in or some thing. Lol have a competent time!

Answer 3

No, you two just are horny as hell and have a very high sex drive. I hope you two have something else in common other than the bedroom.

Answer 4

Are you just having sex or are you two are making love to each other... If you two are in love and showing your love ,, that's cool !!
But having just sex,, you can fine sex on the streets......

Answer 5

Enjoy it while you can because once you live together or get married believe me it will slow down.

Answer 6

thats lucky i wish i got it twice a day

Answer 7

Weird? Bad? No my friend you are LUCKY!

Answer 8

its kind of weird if you dont want it or think its weird or bad

Answer 9

You can do it as much as you want just as long as you're happy.

Answer 10

i think its normal and its great that u feel good with ur partner