Should I keep the baby or have an abortion?

Question

My bf is in jail and cant support me. My mom says not to have the baby. My heart says to keep it...I don't know what to do. Please give me advise.

Answer 1

keep the baby

Answer 2

The decision is yours so I'm not gonna tell you one way or the other what you should do, but I have been there. I chose to keep my son, but it is not easy!!! I have done everything on my own from the day he was born, having a baby is a BIG deal you're entire life will change more than you can ever imagine. I love my son he's 5 now and the funniest cutest kid ever, but it has been a long tough road that we've been on. If I had it all to do again, I would have done open adoption, you still get to be a part of your babys life, you get pictures and visitation and the baby knows you are its Mom. If you feel you are just not ready, having an abortion doesn't make you a bad person. If you do keep it say strong and focused and work on making your future secure and you will be ok theres tons of help out there USE IT!!!

Answer 3

Just know that you have to live with this for the rest of your life. It sounds to me that you already view this as a child. If you see this as a baby then aborting it will make you feel like a murderer. I'm sure you don't want that. If you want the baby and love the baby and can honestly say you are whats best for the baby then keep it. If you don't think that you are the best for the baby and you don't think an abortion is for you. then look into adoption. You can do open adoption where you get to choose the parents and will be able to keep in contact with the parents through out the child's life. I think the best thing to do is read all the info you can. from both sides of the abortion issue. One side will say its a baby the other it's a lump of tissue. Find what you believe and go for it. Don't let anyone push you into anything you will regret when your older this is YOUR choice and you have to live with the consequences of your actions. So listen to your heart and mind and follow what you think is best. And remember this is the 21st century having a child out of wedlock doesn't hold the stigma it once did so don't worry about that part of it.

Answer 4

Support is not the question. Many people have had abortions only to regret their decisions. Others have chosen abortion and never looked back. Ask yourself if you can live with the decision to abort your child. That is the most important question you face. There are many government programs that can help you take care of yourself and your child, both before and after birth. Your mother is not the one that will live with the decision for the rest of her life. It is your heart that says to keep it, then you should do what you feel is best for you and the baby. Adoption is always an option if you feel overwhelmed later in the pregnancy or when the baby is born. It is your choice and yours alone. Please don't let someone pressure you into deciding either way.

Answer 5

Why would your boyfriend need to support you? Are you incapable of working and keeping a job?

Look, here's the thing. A kid is a MAJOR responsibility. Feedings every 2 hours, more doctors than you can remember, and OH MAN are they expensive. Look at the practical side as well as the emotional side. Being a mother isn't about having someone to take care of you. Creating this child is a very "adult" thing, so if you want to keep it make sure that you've got your feet on the ground and a plan to keep that baby safe.

And remember, it's not as simple as "just get rid of it." Thousands of couples every year are looking to adopt a child. That is also an option. If the child is put up for adoption, you have a chance of someday knowing who this little person turns out to be. If you have an abortion, there is no going back.

Answer 6

Your baby did not ask to come here. You and your bf new the consequences of not using protection. There are many people in this world that can not have babies so why do that to yourself. If you cannot take care of the baby there are always other and better options. Everything happens for a reason. Follow your heart. Your mom is not going to feel the pain or guilt that you will feel if you do this. She gave you the breath of life so whats wrong with you doing the same. Try not to think about the negatives. Think of everything positive that could come from this.

Answer 7

I think you need to make adoption your second choice if you are not going to keep this child. That way you have more time to think about what you really in your heart want to do. If you choose to put it up for adoption you could always pick a family that will be willing to have an open adoption so you have some contact. You are carrying a living thing please please please do not have an abortion. There are alot of families and couples that can offer the child a great life if you feel you cant. I have provided care for 2 children that were foster and adopted. Their adopted mother is a wonderful spirit who gives those 2 children the world and would have never had a chance to if their birth mothers had an abortion. Good luck and keep your head up!

Answer 8

Abortion is not birth control. A living being is inside you. You can do whatever you set your heart to. If it keeping the baby, which will be hard any way you look at it, but millions have done it before you, or giving your baby to be adopted, there are many avenues for that, private, open, and in between. Do you have someone to help you even temporary? Just keep a written record of how you are feeling and what your options are. God bless you sweetie and give you strength through whatever you decide.

Answer 9

I think you should go ahead and have the baby and give it up for adoption. There are many couples that would love to have a baby and can't conceive one themsevles.

There are many "legit" agencies that you could go through. Most parents that adopt will even pay for your doctor's bills and some will even help support you while you are pregnant (I believe most of those people are not through an agency though).

You could also go to a Catholic church and ask them for some assitance. They will know where you could go (many of them support homes for girls who are young, not married, and pregnant). You do not have to be Catholic to go to them.

Make sure to have your mom with you when you get the counseling from these place so they can back you up with all of this. She will see that the responsibility for your finances will not fall upon her and that you will not be bringing a baby into her home for her to have to support also.

Adoption now is very different than it used to be. You can opt for an open one where you can actually see the baby sometimes or get pictures if you would like. At some agencies you can even meet and pick out who you would like to raise your baby. If you wish, you could always have a closed one too (one where you will not know who has the baby).

I think whatever you decide to do, if you choose the adoption one, please write a letter to the baby telling him/her why you are choosing to put them up for adoption. Let them know that you cared enough to give birth to them even though the odds were against you and that you cared enough to make sure that they had a nice home with 2 parents who will love them. It will make a difference in the childs life as they get older to have a "answer" as to why you didn't "want" them. Also make sure to write down any family history of illness (like heart problems, cancers, etc.) if there are any.

You have a hard decision to make. May God be with you during this time and let Him guide you in this decison.
Good luck!

Answer 10

Do what your heart tells you to do. Your heart will never steer you wrong. Before resulting in abortion check out the other things you can do. I feel that the best gift that a mother can give the child is the gift of life. You should think about if you are ready to care for a baby and take care of yourself. It is like a job {Full time}. It is not the babies fault so why should the babies be punished by not living. Check out all the other things you can do first before resulting in abortion.
Good Luck On your decision.

Answer 11

This isn't an answer that you are going to be getting on Yahoo! answers, but I do understand that you want different opinions...You have to do what is right for YOU..and you will have people that say you are killing a child, but those people don't understand that it is your body and not theirs and you aren't telling them how many kids they can and can't have...

But there is a third option that you didn't mention and that would be to give the baby up for adoption...Whatever you decide..just make sure you arent going to regret your decision..

Like with me I am very pro-choice, BUT I would never get an abortion...you never know if that is your only chance to get pregnant and if you are stamping out all hopes of that ever happening again...For me..I would keep the baby...anytime I have sex I know that pregnancy is a potential consequence..and it is something that I would have to deal with..

I hope that you do decide to keep the baby or even give it up for adoption because there are many great people out there who can't have kids that would love to have yours...

But in the end it is your decisioin...And if you are worried about things financially there are many things out there that can be aid to you...

Good luck with your decision!