I've been married 5 years but together 11. We have a daughter. About a year ago my wife behavior changed. She began getting phone calls in the middle of the night and going out more then usual. I answered her phone and a man was on the other line. He said he dialed the wrong number. After playing detective, I discovered it was someone she use to date years ago. She said she would tell him not to call but he continued to call. We began to argue and she would complain about me being jealous and controlling. Eventually she said she didn't love me anymore. We continued to argue and she would threaten to leave but she never did. More recently My Space had become an issue. She has many men flirting with her and she flirts back. I don't think she's still in contact with her "old friend, " but I've told her that I'm not cool with myspace. She has now taken down her page. However, I'm not sure if I can trust her anymore. Should I try to make our marriage work or leave?
2006-07-08 05:37:45 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with the other suggestion to try counseling. If she won't go, you can try it yourself and the counselor can help you decide if you should end your marriage. You have a right to be jealous when you discover you've been lied to. She's definitely not taking responsibility for her actions.
Never stay together just for the kids. The kids don't need to have their biggest example of interpersonal relationships being their parents fighting all the time. And they hear and see MUCH more than you think.
2006-07-08 05:52:17 · answer #1 · answered by misslabeled 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first do you love her enough to stay and deal w/ the issue at hand? Secondly maybe she's acting out to get attention from you whether it be in a good or bad way. Maybe you should ask her to hang out one night w/ these people, show her you are open to her having guy friends as long as nothing is going on between them. Sometimes women feel unappreciated by thier husbands and it's a way to feel that you are still sexy and desired by other people. That the world doesn't end when marriage comes into play.
You should be flattered that other men find your wife desirable and sexy. It shows you what you truely have at home, that maybe you took for granted or forgot that she is also a human being not just a "mother/ wife". Some men forget that a woman still exists when they put the ring on the finger. They act like you are now just a wife and mother, that you don't have a life , dreams, expectations, or feelings outside the family.
2006-07-08 06:34:09 · answer #2 · answered by Jessi K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried or suggested marriage counseling? If she is truly not in love with you any more, there is nothing that you can do about it. Suggest counseling and if she refuses, I would get out of the relationship b/c there are always way to cheat (I am not saying that she is), just look for the continued warning signs.
2006-07-08 05:44:56 · answer #3 · answered by RainCloud 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This depends on how much you think you love her (or not). If you think that you can handle these issues then stay, because I don't think that it's going to change unless you get counseling, and even then, it's going to be very hard work.
If your not willing to wait, or if she says there's no problem, then you need to start over. Good luck!
2006-07-08 05:52:38 · answer #4 · answered by Blue_eyed_Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is very hard to get back after its lost. Just make sure that you are not the only one working on it. It is possible to get passed this, and be happy again. There is one other possibility though, don't be naive. Good Luck!
2006-07-08 05:49:48 · answer #5 · answered by hevenleangel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it seems like you gave her too many chances already and if you keep on accepting her lying to you, then she's gonna continue to do so, she's gonna find new ways to get in contact with other men and it looks like she might be cheating and you're just too in love to see it. I think you should leave and find someone who will respect you and really love you.......I"m sure you will find someone better
2006-07-08 06:20:26 · answer #6 · answered by the*cellphone*chik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't seem happy, or she wouldn't be flirting with other guys. If she doesn't love you anymore, then I would get out of that situation. You will never trust her again. Get out of it and go be happy..
2006-07-08 06:56:12 · answer #7 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think this woman is satisfied with one man and it might be time for you to leave. if she wants to come back give her conditions to stick to, otherwise dont accept her.
2006-07-08 05:46:57 · answer #8 · answered by wills 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋