If a friend of mine is disturbed by something and I can't help, I become more disturbed than him. Maybe I should not allow myself to feel anything, 'cause I always feel too much. I know that people only accept help when they want, when they think they need help, but it disturbs me to see people degrading themselves (thru drugs, unsafe sex, illusion) and not being able to do anything. It's so much intense that feeling in me that I'm trying to become a little bit selfish and just send everybody to hell. Why should I care? Why do I have to care when people are happy living in their misery and don't accept my help? They don't even need it! I have many friends who are into drugs, who practice unsafe sex, porn models and stuff...and they're happy that way...so why should I care and disturb myself ? But still I do and to such an extent that it's really hard to describe. Hard to deal with. Am I an incarnation of Mother Teresa of Calcutta or something?
2006-07-08 05:28:11 · 22 answers · asked by Fabulous, young and broke! 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World (Step-By-Step Guides) (Paperback) by Ted Zeff, Elaine N. Aron
2006-07-08 05:33:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lose your caring side, but people don't like to be told that what they are doing is wrong.
I'm similar.
I really like to look out for my friends, and make sure they are happy and in well-being.
However, none of my friends are doing drugs or anything like that.
Just understand that when you worry about them, and try to help, it feels like you are intruding.
It also seems like you're being judgemental, who are you to tell them what to do?
I understand, and I say you should stay a caring person.
Lord knows we don't have many around.
I just hope that I let you understand 'why' they don't accept your help, or are a little fed up by it.
I've been having this problem a lot lately, and what I've done is that I've pretty much stopped talking to people.
I'm a very social, outgoing person.
Thus, when I don't talk, people get the message that I'm upset, and they ask.. then we can discuss how I feel, without it seeming like I'm intruding.
2006-07-08 12:34:39 · answer #2 · answered by Deutscher Eishockey Bund 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said, "It's so much intense that feeling in me that I'm trying to become a little bit selfish and just send everybody to hell..."
I think that the truth lies in the middle somewhere. People have to sometimes learn things for themselves. We have to realize that we can't help them. We can still be friends as long as the friendship does not endanger us in any way. But pulling back and allowing others to learn the life lessons they must learn for themselves is not being selfish and it is certainly not "send[ing] everybody to hell."
2006-07-19 22:15:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your over concern with peoples lives disturbs me, don't you have problems of your own? Judging others behavior as right and wrong is really not your decision. Being sensitive to others in NEED is wonderful, offering your 2 cents when it's neither solicited or wanted is another matter entirely. Personally I would be resentful even quite mortified if you pointed out to me that I was living my life incorrectly and you were living yours correctly. It seem as though you regard yourself as a model by which others should follow. It also seems that you regard yourself as supremely enlightened when all the rest of us mere mortals are just still in the dark ages. I would reassess my own life and decide whether or not to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders or my own weight. Nothing wrong with being helpful, but when you step in and start telling somebody how to live their life you may step on toes. Wait until your advice is asked of you, heck we all have opinions that we would like to voice at times, but unfortunately its inappropriate and people just don't want to be "helped", they think they are living their lives just fine. As you think you're living your life correctly.
2006-07-17 16:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by Fairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(Best answer, jd.)
I would advise telling people to f right off and look out for number one. jd has more compassion; I've always been this way. The more you try to help people who are in desperate situations such as those you have described, the more they will prey upon your listening ear, yet they will not do a dam() thing to help themselves until they are ready. Advice is wasted breath. People usually know what to do, they just do not want to or aren't ready. shake it off.
2006-07-08 17:31:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have caring confused with judging others. What works for you may be wrong for someone else. Mother Theresa loved everyone. She didn't judge them. Please do not confuse your thoughts and actions with her.She didn't want to send everyone to hell. Be careful with your fascist ideas, you may hurt others for some noble cause that has entered your ignorant existence. Help others by showing love. I think you may be headed down the road to a jail sentence.Reexamine your values. Hitler had similar attitudes. Learn, educate yourself. Your hatred of others does not benefit them. Someday I hope you get it. Stay safe.
2006-07-21 19:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by firestarter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice that you care, but who the hell set you up to play God? People have a right of free will and may choose their mistakes. You can't save the world - only those who wish to be helped.
2006-07-21 03:03:00 · answer #7 · answered by quikzip7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to step back and remember that if people want your help, they will probably ask you for it, at least in the smaller things. As for the really big stuff, they will probably have to want to help themselves before you can help. Not that you should become cynical and uncaring, but distance yourself a bit. Hope that helps.
2006-07-16 17:12:33 · answer #8 · answered by Rat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to be the nice one that cares. But please try not to become too jaded due to having to be around unkind people. We need the nice ones and thoughtful people to care, it's what is good. Being sensitive is not a bad thing. Just breathe and think about others like you, they are around too just harder to find. Peace.
2006-07-08 23:09:34 · answer #9 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I have said this before and I will most likely always say this, "You cannot change anyone but yourself." They can come to you for "help" or "advise", but it does not mean they will use what you have given them. Personally I get tired of their drama and say to heck with it. I do not have a whole heck of a lot of friends, but those who are, are very close to me. I do not put concern into people who don't take into consideration what their concerns do to me.
2006-07-08 17:45:03 · answer #10 · answered by yokaimayhem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋