why do women think us men have an easy ride in life as if we have no feelings?

Question

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Answer 1

Quite a mixture or perspectives are needed to fully answer this question, and we've learned enough to realize that we have actuall little handle on most of them. But I'll try anyway.

Characteristically, men and women approach life and events and problems differently. The difference(s) has been the subject of literature, gossip, irritation (both directions), and humor for as long as we have records. And nothing seems to have much changed in those reactions to those differences, so I conclude that whatever is causing it has a considerable non-cultural, non-environmental, contribution. Women are concerned with matters which men sometimes don't even see, while men's concerns are often not taken as primary (or are invisible) by women. If you don't see what the other sex is concerned with, and can only see the lack of effort they put into things that are vital to you, ie's possible to decide that one (or the other) has an easy ride. A kind of "grass is greener on the other side of the fence" kind of analysis, which neglects the details of life on the other side of hte fence for a rather superficial view of the relative merits of the grass.

In recent years, it appears that we are beginning to get a glimpse of what this persistent thing is. Brian imaging studies have shown a considerable difference in the way that male brains are activated (on the same problems, of course) than female brains. And there are behavorial differences which are being more carefully deliniated than in the past. And to cap it all off, there are characteristic gross structural differences between male and female brains. Among other things, female brains have larger interconnection structures between the hemispheres than do males.

And embryological history is clearly involved. The basic structure of the brain (and of some other body systems, in addition to the obvious) are developmentally determined, chiefly by doing nothing special for females, and producing a surge of testosterone at about 6 weeks or so after conception, in males. This prepares the male body for the changes that will occur when testosterone production increases at puberty. Females, it seems are already prepared for the surge of female hormones at puberty.

The consequences of these differences are affected by social and cultural overlays of course. And it is there, that I'd suggest that female opinions about men (not, of course, universal amongst all women) have their origin. If your culture has acquired a strong social perspective on the proper way to behave, and men don't fit that template in some respects, they will be condemned, excoriated, derided, etc for failing to met those expectations. If your culture is one which has come to value cooperation rather than competition, to worry about feelings first and hierarchy and status second, to devalue action at the expense of contemplation, ..., men will come to look defective to a greater or lesser degree, since it is exactly those dimensions along which the difference between men and women is widest. And it is those things which are most visible, and which many believe are changeable (a theory that looks less and less viable when the biology of male-female differences are studied). Failure to change becomes more and more prominent over time, and more and more of a 'fixation' (to misuse a word), and so get more and more ink and attention. After all, if one sees the need to change (by these standards), and one hasn't changed, then one must be either stupid 9some men aren't), insane (some men aren't) or unfeeling. Since some men at least seem to treat themselves more or less as they treat others, then (on this line of (non)reasoning) they must have no feelings. From a female perspective, this is a major issue (since feelings are supremely important in the female universe) and women pay a lot of attention to anything relating to it.

And overlaid on all of this is an inherent biological reality. Variance. No man is entirely sterotypically male, and no woman is stereotypcially female. So some men are more oriented toward feelings (the 'female' mode) than others, while some women are more interested in mechansim and hierarchy (the 'male' model) than others. It is possible for some observes to notice that x does this, while y does not, and to decide that there is something wrong (or defective, ie unfeeling) about x. When this sort of reasoning is transferred to physical traits, it's more easily seen as wrong footed. Not everyone can be tall enough to play basketball (male or female) nor so close to some ideal of form to be a model (either a male or female ideal), nor with perfect eyesight, nor perfect pitch or even musical ability, etc etc.

Yet it is sometimes argued that, if Herb ove there can be sensitive that way, why can't you, you unfeeling dolt!? Bad thinking caused by neglecting characteristic biological difference, by negelcting variances in all directions within those differences, and by poor reasoning, elevating the particular to a universal standard. And all exacerbated by political positions among the most committed to some view point or other.

It is in this last sense that the 'conservative talking heads' have a point. To quote Limbaugh, "it's the Feminazis who are at fault". In this limited sense, he's got ahold of a part of the truth. The political committment on the part of the most radical of this group leads to pressure on the rest of society with regard to its standards of behavior and expectation. To their frustration, no society has adopted their agenda entirely, and to Rush's frustration his country has not entirely adopted his, but the effect is to bend the discussion towared the direction of finding those who don't behave as feminist theory wishes more of a problem than otherwise. There would be less friction betwixt men and women if the politics were not so fraught.

Answer 2

Men are trained from an early age, you are a big boy now don't cry. You are trained to hide emotions and when you show them you are considered weak. If you get the right woman who wants to know you inside out instead of outside in she will understand you. Men do have a bad habit of opening their mouth and sticking their foot straight down their throat. No one has an easy ride in life. Men and women both have responsiblities to themselves and others. Please reconsider this because not all women feel the way you state.

Answer 3

Typically men are much more logical creatures then women.

Women typically live on emotion, not such a bad thing.

All men do have emotion, and some have more then others. However take the people around you who are the most emotional, and you will come up with women everytime.

Someone saying or implying that you have it easier because your a man and not as emotional....IS A VERY EMOTIONAL STATEMENT, NOT A LOGICAL ONE.

Make sense?

Just for the fact you are trying to problem solve your question, instead of pointing fingers, makes you more logical.

Logic of course has many stresses.

Ignorance is bliss!


Best of wishes and don't stress on this, its been going on forever

Blessings

Answer 4

Let me correct you on one point first. I think my walk as a Christian is in direct response from a woman. My Wife. I knew The lord Jesus Christ was my savior but without her my faith would be as hollow as a dead tree stump. It was a hopeless cause until she redirected me back to GOD. I find my wife has been my best friend and that i can talk to her when oyther people tend to have me confine my words of GOD and Jesus Christ. I know that I should bond more with men but i find often when talking to other men the topic tends to sway away from the lord and into sports and work or something other than the praise at hand or discussion on the bible. Yes, I find that men are less likely to be Spiritual companions but i can't help wonder if that is not the same case with women as well. Is todays church more of a social setting to get together for gossip, and setting agendas for the rest of the week and less about worship anymore.

Answer 5

It's probably the "grass is always greener" syndrome. I've heard lots of guys go on and on about how easy life can be for women. The one complaint that I definitely have is that men seem to have an easier time losing weight than women.

Answer 6

i don't think men have an easy ride at all. you guys have to worry about that pressure to make sure that your family is taken care of or you'll get hassled by everyone like "Oh my gosh how can he have his family living like that?" I wouldn't want that pressure. Plus you guys have to worry about the same thing as women (LOVE) yikes. Just keep tracking and screw what everyone else thinks, you know what you're doing

Answer 7

I don't think you have it easy...none of us do. But I do think a man's ego gets in the way of him showing his emotions.Men as boys are taught not to show any emotion. Fine if you're gonna grow up & be in the service or something...but not so fine for everyday life. We need to start seeing each other as human...there is only one race & that's the human race. We all have feelings & emotions...some of us are just better at showing them than others are.

Answer 8

well, they think we are on an easy ride because they have to deal with two very unpleasent things in life, which are pain full, disturbing,gross etc, and a man can never feel that

Answer 9

Maybe because men don't show their emotions like women do. They try to look tough while women are open about their emotions.

Answer 10

Males like to pretend as if nothing gets to them and they do not care about anything. If males would stop fronted females would stop thinkin the way we do. Show some emotion sometimes so we can nknow u r human.