A friend habitually drinks after around thirty days clean and sober, but wants to get help from me and does not want me to give up on them. Every time there is a relapse there is guilt and shame, but a week later wants to continue to try. I do not know what to do, and I am growing weary of this situation. They could die from late stage alcoholism, but cannot go into in-patient rehabilitation, due to circumstances. I have been there for them and also in recovery. What should I do that will be most effective that might click?
2006-07-08 05:00:02 · 11 answers · asked by worldpeaceplse 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What are you, their personal cheerleader? If your friend relapses, and then says they "need you" what does this mean to you? They use YOU for their support. Forget about it. Beating a dead horse, if you know what I mean. If you are growing weary, then it's time to think about yourself. People LOVE to put off their self-imposed problems onto others. And if you want to carry their burden, go for it. Don't you have your own life?? There is AA meetings, take your friend to that -- ONCE! Go the first time, and then say, "This is where you need to be, with people who understand your issues. Sorry, but I'm not an addict, and I just can't understand what you're going through. But talk to Bill, he's an alcoholic too!"
2006-07-08 05:10:19 · answer #1 · answered by i_troll_therefore_i_am 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a recovering Alcoholic.I do understand why your growing weary.Unfortunately they are using you as a crutch just like the alcohol. You need to use "tough love" on them. They could go to AA meetings and make new friends that are staying sober,Instead of leaning on you.Tell them straight out that you are tired of this happening over and over and you can't do it anymore.Don't let them send you on a guilt trip.Be firm but not angry.It's really to bad they can't get into a rehab program.We all need to reach our bottom and that is different for everyone.It takes and takes until there is nothing to take any more.That can be their life.We have to be responsible for our own actions.AA works the best for the most.Sobering up will get harder everytime and we hate to go through the withdrawals.It's not easy but can be done.If they have drinking friends they need to makle new friends that don't drink.Living one day at a time is easier than thinking I can never drink again in my life.I hope this helps you and the people you've been trying to help. Good Luck!!!
2006-07-08 13:42:39 · answer #2 · answered by Linda R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There comes a point where you must take care of yourself.If this person really wants to get sober, A.A. is a good place to start.This provides a whole network of supportive new people .If a person is willing to do whatever it takes, meetings ,a sponsor , fellowship with the group,and working the steps , then they shouldn't need to lean to much on one person.If you continue to try and bear this burden,then you may end up in the same boat.
2006-07-08 12:18:31 · answer #3 · answered by Peyton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all the other answers are good and should work.
re: "They could die from late stage alcoholism, but cannot go into in-patient rehabilitation, due to circumstances."
......what circumstances?
in my experience there are many many options and support groups for addicts of all kinds and most are free or low cost so, this addict has no more excuses for not seeking help in my opinion. don't let the addict use you and wear you out with their sad story. it's you or them.......choose!
2006-07-08 16:24:14 · answer #4 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this has gone too far.
Even after rehabilitation process, if they continue, nobody can help them.
He is slowly trying to commit suicide, knowingly or unknowingly.
He is not in a position to control himself and seems very week minded person.
Sorry, you cannot help him in any way, but to drag him to a hospital for treatment.
That is the only final course of action left for you.
2006-07-08 12:06:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is unfortunate but you have to make a choice, you or them. As a former alcohol counselor and present R.N. the only advise comes in a cliche.
No one will recover until the have hit bottom. As long as you are there to bail someone out there is no bottom.
Good Luck,
John
2006-07-08 12:07:12 · answer #6 · answered by JOHN S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him the help, take the stuff away from him by force. What ever kind of contraband he gets, sell it back to a gang or something, and don't tell him where you put it. Because not only will you be helping one person (giving it away) but you'll be helping him(taking it away), and yourself (making money).
Help in any and all ways possible!!!
2006-07-08 12:15:52 · answer #7 · answered by dancarrasquillo@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you will be a friend but you CANNOT help with alcoholism problem. There ARE experts and support groups that can. Make them go to AA; if necessary, go with them.
2006-07-08 12:07:09 · answer #8 · answered by happyday_aloha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there to support them. Help them with whatever you can, but if it starts to grind on you then tell them you will not be an enabler. Do whatever your consience tells you too with regards to the situation.
2006-07-08 12:15:42 · answer #9 · answered by bigsnowtoday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I vote for that as an excellent answer. Sounds as tho you are a crutch. Crutches don't help.
2006-07-08 12:07:39 · answer #10 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋