what should i do about my life if i'm gay and live in a country where gays are hated, beaten and even killed?

Question

no one knows i am gay.. and people treat gays like criminals or terrorists.. they don't understand that people don't choose to be gay... it's just who i am..i don't choose to feel attracted to the same sex.. i have no control over this.. i think it is a sickness which cannot be cured unfortunately.. i don't know what to do.. to tell my parents, friends? my life will be over.. they all will hate me.. to try seek asylum or immigrate to a civil country? i don't know.. live my whole life like this, hiding and acting? it's a nightmare... by the way, can i apply for a political asylum in the U.S.? would you h elp me to move? if i get a citizenship in a civil country i will at least be able to escape prosecutions and be able to tell everyone who i am... i don't know... i feel so lonely.. maybe i just should kill myself and all problems will be resolved..

Answer 1

You didn't say what country you are in but unfortunately hate of gays does exist. It sounds like you are going to have to stay 'closeted' until you get older and then try to move to a major city. You do need to be very careful about your sexuality because of the hostile environment.

Don't give up on life though because what you are going through, gays have experienced throughout time. It will get better. Just make it your primary focus/goal in life to work toward getting the hell out of that place.

Also, I don't think the USA gives political asylum for being gay. Plus why would you want to come to the USA anyways? Ppl hate gays here too in a lot of states. Canada, Sweden, or Holland would be a much better choice.

Answer 2

Live my whole life like this, hiding and acting. That's what people do so why can't you act like a man get married and abandon those of being gay, just acting
maybe i just should kill myself and all problems will be resolved..
Who's problem yours or is it a problem you brought on yourself by contemplating what you will be, so you abandon being gay and live an unhappy life, well that's going to happen either way, because you will be mistreated if you go public and surely just sleeping around with other men until you find Mr.right may make you happy at the time but if you never find him them what will you be, anytime a person is trying to make a decision such as this one is being turned by someone else. Think you can stop putting this stuff in your head, stop hanging with your friends and take up a different hobby, not to make you a man, your already that, it so you can get your mind off of sex and relationships and have fun finding out you are just that a man

Answer 3

Sweetheart, do not hate yourself, and do not kill yourself. And, please, know that it is not a disease. Homosexuality has always existed, it exists in the animal kingdom too. One is born that way. And just what makes it a disease? And how does it hurt society? And, I assure you, I am not gay. I am straight and a mother of a boy and a girl. My only issue with one of them being gay, is that they'd have to put up with prejudice.
You cannot get political asylum to the US, I don't know about other countries, for being gay and prosecuted for it. You can try and emigrate on other grounds, if you are a professional with rare skills and are offered a job with an American company, or marry a citizen of the country you want to immigrate to (yes, I realize what I'm saying...), or belong to some other prosecuted minority, or be sponsored by a close relative, parent, child, or sibling. Otherwise, you will have to, like many before you, live in secret, very carefully. It was the case only 50 years ago in today's most open societies.

Answer 4

You are in the new civil rights struggle. First it was women, then blacks. Now, Homosexuals are viewed as not equal to the common folk. Just as these other groups fought for years to get their rights, you will have to also. It will not be easy, these religious and conservative types are extrememly closed minded. They look at the King-James version of the bible which has been changed time and time again from its original text to say what the original Church of England wanted it to say. The truth of it is, nothing in the bible mentions homosexuality, but the King James version plays with words enough to make it seem that way.

Enough with the biblical rant. You should not move. Should african americans moved in the 50s and 70's? No, you need to prove to everyone that you are not a freak. You are a normal person. It will be a fight, and even when the legislation is passed in your favor, you will still have to fight against people who oppose you.

Dont give up. Wait until a homosexual gets major power (it will happen), you will see things improve.

Answer 5

Killing yourself is NOT the answer!!!

I don't know about political asylum, but you can apply for a visa. If you're that unhappy and telling your family and friends could result in serious consequences I would not tell. Normally I would say "tell your parents", but it could be dangerous for you, so DON'T.

If moving to the US is what you want to do, plan for it. Do some web searches and ask people about a Visa, the cost of living in the US, types of jobs you can get. It may take a little time, but in the end it will have been worth the wait.

My boyfriend came here 9 years ago on his own and didn't know a soul when he got here, but he did it, and you can do it too.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

Well, if you can move to the U.S. that would probably help, but even here gay people still have to walk softly, in some areas. I'm not trying to get you to stay where you are, you're just in a tough place. Try to make the best of it. I'm not gay, but I kind of know how you feel. I'm different in other ways, and I can't talk about it to anyone I know, either. For me, the best thing is to just keep quiet and be as understanding of other people as I can.

Answer 7

Please don't come to the US, it's no better here. In the area I grew up in, there were no out gay people (including me), it would have been too dangerous to make that known, it would have meant being hunted or expelled from the town. I remember my senior year a handicapped kid was tortured, blinded and burned by redneck thugs for hours because he had made some friendships with some black people. Really sad, but it would have been worse for gay people. I think the guys who did it got a few months in jail, their families owned alot of land. You would be happier in Europe, people are not as backward. Try getting to somewhere in Scandinavia or the Netherlands, they tend to allow large numbers of refugees and really gay friendly. No, you shouldn't tell anyone, just get the hell out of there as soon as possible and never look back.

Answer 8

Don't kill yourself! That wouldn't be fair to those who love you and it would be a selfish way out. You wouldn't be facing your problems head on. It's going to be hard to come out, but if it's something that you feel strongly about and you know that you are gay, you have to come out or you are just going to be depressed for the rest of your life. If you live in the US, life is changing for gays and lesbians. It's not like it was even a few years ago. Things are changing. It's not as bad as you think. Sure you might lose a few friends, but, you are living your life for you. You have to do what's going to make you feel happy and what makes you lead a full and healthy life. I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 9

I think that it is in fact probably unwise to tell your family given your situation. I'm not sure about the legality, but if you can't get asylum, I would suggest trying your hardest to move somewhere better. I know that it sucks, and that you shouldn't have to leave your home, but I think that that would be the safest option. Britain, Canada, US, are all decent (not great, mind you, but decent) places to be. Once you do get out, talk to a counselor / psychologist; you've definitely been through a certain kind of hell, and hopefully they can help you deal with that. Please try to make it till then.
Good luck.

Answer 10

Hope you were not serious about killing yourself there are other options, and life is too precious to waste.

I know here in Canada you can get asylum.There are legal and immigration groups that can help. I don't have the info myself right now but I'm sure you can find it on the internet, try canada.ca and look for immigration. If I find the specific group I am talking about to contact I will get back to you.

In the meantime try to find someone that you can talk to a counciler or something.