I would give him my world but i dont think he would do the same in return, whats your opinion?

Question

I moved 1500km away from my family, friends and everything ive ever known, to be with him. He is my entire world and i would do anything for him but i never feel or see the same in return. But if something goes wrong im always to blame. Im a big romantic and at every chance ill go out of my way to do something or buy something for him to make him feel good, but he never does anything like it, even on our 1 year anniversary, he said "oh its been that long already". Ive tried to leave once before but he just begged me to stay and said it was because of the stress from work and the hours he was doing, which i understand but i find myself crying and wondering if this is as good as it gets but i cant leave him i love him. What do i do?

we have been together for over a year but he wont tell his parents

i know in my heart that he loves me too, but he just doesnt show it, am i asking too much for that little bit of re -assurance of his love

Answer 1

That's the problem. Never give anyone that much control, especially a man. When you do you find yourself putting his needs before yours, pleasing him to make him happy around the clock. You often lose yourself, you lose the person inside, and the end you are left with a empty relationship, broken heart, and alone.

Do yourself a favor. Providing you love and respect yourself. No one can treat you better than you can treat and respect yourself. Leave. If he doesn't appreciate you, doesn't care, why the heck should you care and continue the cycle?
You don't need a counselor to tell you what you need to do. I see someone posted you should go to counseling. This guy isn't your husband. This is the best time to start burning rubber. These are the early signs of what marriage could be for you. Providing you are considering marriage. You didn't mention it. NO you don't need counseling unless you need a counselor for yourself to tell you why you accept this type of abuse and to help you move yourself from the situation.

Answer 2

If you aren't getting what you need out of this relationship, you have to consider what you are willing to sacrifce to be with him. You've already sacrificed your friends and family - are you willing to sacrifice your emotional needs as well?

You don't have to just pack and leave. You can try talking to him, explaining what it is you need and give him a chance to change. Or you could seek couples counseling and have a third person help the two of you comminicate. Maybe you both can learn how to improve your relationship.

But the truth is, no matter how much you love him - if you are this unhappy the chances are this isn't going to work. You took a big risk to move for him, and it's not easy to admit it was a mistake - but the people that love you will understand.

The world is yours - you can stay where you are and make a new life on your own, go somewhere else you've always wanted to go - or return to the love and support of your friends and family.

Loving someone doesn't mean you have to sacrifce everything - including your own happiness. If you are getting nothing in return for your love then you need to consider if this is truly the kind of relationship that you want.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Dump him!! I was the same with one of my girlfriends when i was younger... she was truly in love with me, but i don't feel the same for her- I just want her to stay so I won't have to be lonely if I don't feel like going out with my buddies or my other girl. later on, I decided to dump her.
Believe me... don't punish yourself! Everything is obvious, he is not in love with you. Be the one to dump him, and not the other way around.
And don't expect for him to come after you because he loves you. Right now, he just loves himself. The world is too big for you not to find a real guy who would love you the way you give back your love. Believe me, there are lots of guys who is worthy of your precious love... it's not that asshle you're with now!!!
Chin up, girl! I can see you are in love (imagine... 1 year anniversary!!?) You might have been fooled.. but it's time to pick up the pieces and move on.
Life ends when you stop breathing. But until you do, you have a lot of choices for your problems. This is just a small concern compared to what other people suffer right now. You can surpass this... I know you can! You had the courage to ask people you don't know for advice/opinions for your personal problem. Use this same courage to turn your back on this guy and face the world with a new perspective, be happy! I feel, with this guy, you had more heartaches than happiness over your 1 year as lovers.
I wish you good luck and happiness.

Answer 4

maybe buying you stuff and making romantic plans for your anniversary is not his way of showing he loves you.maybe he does't even like anniversaries.but that doesnt mean he doesn't love you,i am sure he does and he shows it in other ways.but is he there for you?does he treat you right?do you have fun together?does he understand you?does he care about you?if not then maybe he s not the one for you and you deserve better.but if he does then its ok.talk to him about the things that bother you and you and your boyfriend will be fine.relationships go through a lot of hard times and its normal if you cry sometimes.everyone does when he faces probs.if you both try i am sure you life will be what you expect it to. :) BUT if you feel depressed all the time and you feel as though any of your efforts will be wasted,and you miss your family then i think you should go back.after all what should happen will happen.take care and have courage.everything is going to be fine :)

Answer 5

You are a wonderful person. I hope you never lose your sense of wonder. I think you should find someone else who appreciate you. If he can't learn to love you, you should leave him because you don't need him. The easy part in life is finding someone to love. The hard part is finding someone to love you back. It’s seem like he’s afraid to lose you but he’s not putting the effort to make you happy. When he loses you he’ll realize that he lost the best thing that ever happen to him.

Answer 6

Either you make peace with the fact that you will never get everything that you want from him, or you leave. It's that simple. It is not as good as it gets - being with someone you love shouldn't make you miserable. It should be an absolute joy! Great relationships do require hard work, but from both of the people, not just one.

Answer 7

when a guy loves you truely,he wont change the way he was when he was stalking you and finding ways to ask you on a date.stress is always around and its part of life,but if everyone used stress as an excuse imagine how many marriages would exist!!point is,if a tired guard can go home and love and treat his wife with love and the respect she needs then so can your man.talk to him and make sure he knows that its getting on your nerves.

Answer 8

You sound like you really love this guy. But if you really wanted the best for yourself you might leave him and find a guy your crazy about, and a guy who cares as much for you as you do for him. No effence but this guy seems like a waste of time, when your special someone is somewhere out there waiting for you!
Hope you make a good decision!

Answer 9

Doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Reevalutate your situation and don't be afraid to be selfish. People always attach a stigma to the word, but being selfish in this way is not at all a bad thing.

Answer 10

Sounds like he taken advantage of you big time, go home and tell him to grow up your not his Mommy your his partner in life, and if it can't be a 50/50 deal it No deal. You deserve better.