What should I do?

Question

My husband is gone. He said he had a contracting job to go do and he left and hasn't been home for 3 days now. Yesterday, I found that his name was crossed off my mail box, a lot of his stuff is gone, but a lot is also left home. I found out that our r.v. has been taken out of storage. He left me some money, and when he left he kissed me and said he would come home about 3am from this job because this guy needed the job done asap. We weren't fighting, but we have had some money problems lately. I called the police and there is nothing they can really do. I think he might have gone to Colorado for some work, but I don't know if he is planning to come back. I found an email to a contractor there that invited him for a job, but in his reply, he said no he couldn't leave me and the kids. I know he loves me, but I think he just snapped. So, what should I do now? How long should I wait for him here? I could go back home to my folks and start over but what if he can't find me?

I have already the guy who offered the job by email and haven't got a reply back yet. I left messages for my husband on email, and on myspace, and the answering machine for when I go to work.

No, he doesn't have a cell phone. I don't think I should just up and leave, he is my HUSBAND. My dad is coming down to spend a couple days with me, and my kids are off on summer vacation with other grandparents.

I filed a missing persons report, but unless he gets pulled over somewhere there is nothing they can do because there was not an actual crime commited.

Answer 1

first off you need to take care of you. Whats done is done, It looks like you have done every thing in your power to find out whats really going on. If your afraid if you leave and he won't find you, then maybe you should stay home and invite a family member, or close friend to stay with you. If you are religious or not praying can't hurt it might even calm you down some. And you shouldn't wonder what happened, because you don't really know and that probably would scare, and or freak you out. I know it would me. Its not good to assume things. Well I am sorry that happened to you stay strong, what won't kill you will only make you stronger....

Answer 2

Does he have a cell phone? Maybe you could leave a message telling him you're upset. Call up HIS parents and siblings and see if they know anything of what he's doing. You're all family now so they could be able to tell you if he's snooping around.

2 weeks. Start planning now so you know how to budget yourself and prepare an agenda of what you'll do in case he doesn't come back. It doesn't seem right that he's just leaving you without a detailed explanation for an extended period of time. If he doesn't come home soon, go to your parents and leave a message on the answering machine saying what you've done and how he can contact you.

Answer 3

At the time he sent that email to the the contractor he probably decided not to take the job, but later he changed his mind because you are having money problems, and in that email you can see that he had no intentions of leaving you and the kids, and you say you know he loves you. I know you're confused and scared but be patient and wait as long as you can I am sure he will return, the job he went for could be taking him longer than he expected to finish, but I hope he calls soon to ease your tensions and worries. Be patient, this is your husband and not your boyfriend so waiting is very important. Take care and be strong.

Answer 4

I am sure he would know how to get a hold of your parents to find you. I wouldn't throw in the towel yet. As you said, alot of his stuff is still there. He may indeed have decided to run, but I would suspect that he will return to at least claim the rest of his belongings. That would be the time to beable to talk with him. I find it very odd that he would cross of his name on the mail box. Have you called your in-laws and spoken to them? Sounds like he has been planning this, although he has taken the cowards way out. Call your in-laws, and give him a few more days to come to his senses. I know the waiting is hard. I will say a prayer for you both.

Answer 5

You could leave ur contact information to the local police so that when ur husband is back he wont have any difficulty in getting touch with u.Though u have had money problems and he missing from 3 days doesnt mean he has left u.Both of u need to talk openly about everything,before considering separation.Unless he confronts u,everything would be a guesswork.

Answer 6

Do what is best for you and your children FIRST. He was the one that left, so why are you still worrying about his feelings? Enlist the help of your parents ASAP!!! You're going to need emotional support. This man was dishonest with you no matter what his intentions may be. Don't waste anymore time convincing yourself otherwise. Contact a lawyer who has free consultations. This is called "abandonment" and you may need some legal advise if he decides later down the line to come back for more...including the kids. Good luck, Sweetie!

Answer 7

Well, if you can't contact him, and it appears he has "left" the only thing I can suggest is to suck it up, file for divorce and get on with your life.

If you want to track him down, there should be some way through the US post office. He has left a forwarding address with them - that's why his name is scratched off the mailbox, and you should be receiving a notice from them to that effect this week.

On the other hand, depending on what "stuff" is missing, your husband may have been a victim of a crime,and they perpetrators may have stolen the RV. A missing person report should be filed.

Answer 8

I would recommend calling any and eveyone that you know that knows him. His boss, parents, aunts/uncles, cousins, brother/sister, mutual friends. It has been 3 days now, so that is over the 48 hour min. "missing period" to file on an adult. Don't let the police department tell you they can't do anything. Exhaust all your means for locating him prior to going to the police so you can provide them with where you know he isn't. If you have a joint account, go to the bank, request to see if there have been any transactions on the acounty. Same for credit cards. Hopefully he is working and is just extremely busy or merely being rude by not calling. Good luck.

Answer 9

Get in touch with the contractor to see if he is actually there. I have a bad feeling that he just ran. He might have 2nd thoughts after he clears his head and return home. Does he have a cell phone that you can call him on? Call from a differtn number so he doesn't know it's you. I'm sure you just want to make sure he's safe and alive right now. Wow, that's some crap to have to deal with.

Answer 10

if he has never did this befor file a police reprt stop and give him the benifit of the doubt maybe he is hurt ,or somthing remember the runaway bride she was so embarrased to be all over national tv well she should have had balls to tell him the truth and if hes not hurt this will get you some answers. also what kind of police dept doesnt file reports on missing persons god forbid you get kidnapped where you live what a joke i would be worried about a mans life more than cheeting get mad later.