What do you do when the in-laws can't stand your guts and try to drive a wedge between you and your partner?

Answer 1

First, why do they hate you so much? If it's something as basic as a different religion or a different ethnicity, then there is no way to change their minds. If it's something simple, such as you use "too much" make-up or swear a lot, things that you can easily change, at least in their presence, then attempt to conform when they're around -- it will make your spouse happy and ease some of the pressure.

If, however, there's nothing that YOU can do to change their attitudes, then avoid them as much as possible. Birthday party for an in-law? Send a decent gift, but have SUCH a headache you can't possibly attend. Weekly dinners at their place every Thursday? Sign up for a pottery class that night. If at all possible, do NOT force your spouse to defend you. They were his/her parents long before you two were married. The in-laws probably see you as driving a wedge between them and their child. Just be as pleasant as possible under the circumstances and eventually you'll be seen as "the nice one" while they're seen as the trouble makers.

Answer 2

Why are there some many in-laws problems. Can we all get along ??? *smack * Okay, Iam back into reality. I could tell you, I been there done that. But thats not going to help you much. All in-laws are different, some with horns while others have a halos.
The in-laws has a right let anyone else, to feel what they wanna feel.
I could say try to make it work out. Patch thing up with them. But you have and it's no good doing so. Well just because they are in-laws. Does not mean they have boss written on them. If the relationship is strong and on steady ground.
Then not only you but also your partner, needs to stand up and let them have it. Your partner could had try and it's could be useless. Then stand up on your own two feet. They are humans too. Let them know, whatever they feel about you. Will not break or bend you.
You love him/her so much. You will bite nails and tacks to be with him/her. In-laws are like fleas on dogs. you try to shampoo them out, and even comb the fur. But they kept coming back more then ever. Then get some frontline. stand your ground.
You can hate them as much as they hate you. Tell them what you think.
If you don't let them know, that you mean business by what you say to them. They will walk all over you, like a doormat that they wipe their feet on. So what if they don't care for you. They have no business ruining your relationship with you and your partner.

Answer 3

i attempt to make no comparrison between unlawful immigration and section human beings. possibly from time to time issues get compared to ,yet i fairly do not imagine they have a lot in difficulty-free. and that i'm professional-unlawful. issues from our previous are large references to the destiny,yet not with a similar circumstances.I advise,yeah,white human beings did take this land from the indians.They were the following first.If i changed into ya'll i'd be comparing that a very different way than us professional-illegals.you should assert that now illegals are merely like the whites beforehand.they try to take land faraway from us human beings.Kinda opposite it round.So,we are not the in ordinary words ones who can use that route,anti-illegals can too. so a techniques as white u.s./black u.s.,properly, there'll continually be discomfort from slavery.yet i have not seen many on the following deliver it up with illegals.in evaluation,I advise. I did one time ,yet i changed into pertaining to the way some human beings the following communicate so hateful about mexicans.not illegals,in ordinary words mexicans.I presented up slavery in connection with how blacks were dealt with then and how mexicans are dealt with now.no count number number the position a spanish human being is going or who they are , they are seen by using many as unlawful mexicans.same for black human beings over one hundred yrs in the past,a loose guy couldn't walk down a highway because many whites may imagine him a slave.Atleast not in north carolina(the position i'm from).i comprehend there is not any honestly evaluation between slavery and unlawful immigration,it really is like comparing an orange to a banana.i changed into merely comparing the tips human beings had. So,besides,when you're speaking about me,then thats what i'm to blame of.

Answer 4

The bible is very clear on this! A man shall leave his parents and cleave unto his wife. They two will becoem one flesh! If you married in a religious ceremony and your inlaws sat silent when the minister asked if there were any objections..then the inlaws silently agreed to support your union! If they now refuse to accept it..its too late!
Remind your husband his loyalty now lies with you and that he signed the contract! Stand firm together and set boundaries together and stick with them!

It took my husband 20 years to "see" that his parents were actively trying to wedge us apart and when he finally "saw" it.he cut the ties! We have been in bliss every since. 6 months now of no contact.

I hope your situation doesnt come to that. I truly believe family should be there for one another but if one refuses to bend at all..ya have to work with what you have! Try to be reaonable but your marriage is your top priority!

Best wishes!
(married 20 + years to my high school sweatheart!)

Answer 5

They can only drive a wedge between you if you let them. Talk to your spouse and don't let them do it. By allowing it, you are letting them get away with being a pain. Stand up for yourself..

Answer 6

The partner needs to make a stand to them and let it be known this will not be tolerated under any circumstances.

Answer 7

do good to them people can`t resist love, and keep showing it even if they spit in your face, and eventually it will break down more barriers than any nuclear weapon. love is the greatest power on earth, humans can`t have too much of it. remember their birthdays, take them for a meal and say to them, you are my family, and i will not stop loving you, because i love my partener and their family. love it`s a beautiful thing.

Answer 8

as long as you and your partner know that this is what theyre doing then it shouldnt be a problem between you two. sit down and talk to them, tell them you know what theyre doing and its not going to work.

Answer 9

Well we just basically cut them out of our lives completly as much as possible so they don't have the opportunities to do that anymore.

Answer 10

I agree with TL ... it's your partner's responsibility to stand up for you.