How does one deal with the suicide of a spouse?

Answer 1

My dad killed himself in 2001.

It took me a long time...

It took me to dark places...

It took a lot out of me...

It took me to the bottom of who I am, what I believe, why I live, how I show up for others, where to go from here.

The one thread that I clinged to, which kept hope alive in me until I was lifted up again:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, Who comforts us in all our troubles with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. ... Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, Who raises the dead."

2 Corinthians 1: 3-9

Answer 2

Face it. If you feel the loss, you must mourn. Get personal counseling if you feel that you could use it. If you have faith, get in touch with your faith. If you can talk to friends or family members whom you feel are sympathetic and open minded about your shock and dissappointment and care about your feelings, do so. Normal stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance. Any loss will cause those feelings. However, do not blame yourself. Remember that your spouse was an adult. No adult or even a child can be watched all of the time. Your spouse had the same opportunity to live and make choices as everyone else does. Anyone can make a bad choice if they allow irrational thoughts and ungodly ideas to govern their behavior. Often, even psychiatric drugs only supress the inevitable behavior.

Answer 3

My great sympathy to you, and wishes for whatever peace of mind you can discover. Suicide is a serious problem worldwide, especially these days in New Orleans. No one can pass judgement on the psychological suffering another person endures. Sometime, I truly believe, suicide can relieve one from unbearable suffering.

The medical establishment tells us that there are remedies for extreme depression and suicide, but unfortunately, our entire medical system is out of balance and many people simply cannot afford the supposed cures.

There are many books that address this subject, and support groups too. Do a google search for support groups, and a search on Amazon for relevant books. Take care of yourself. Be patient and go THRU your grief and other feelings, NOT around them. That is the only path to any semblance of healing.

Answer 4

Wow, that's a question.
In truth I don't believe you ever truly can completely deal with something like that. I suppose the simple answer is time and support from friends and family.
The main thing is to keep reminding yourself you are not responsible, we are all responsible for our own actions.
After something like that you are likely to feel various emotions such as resentment to the spouse for leaving you to deal with everything on your own.
Try to be strong, try religion if you feel it would help you personally, as it does seem to help some people in times of great need. If ever you need to talk to someone outside your immediate family or friends there are always professionals or just idiots like us on computers all over the world.

Answer 5

I have seen this first hand, but I've never personally experienced it. My good friend lost her husband to his suicide, and it was very tough for her...she, to this day, can't seem to pull through the heartache. It's been over a year since he died.

It is very difficult at first because you keep questioning why he/she did it, or if there was something you could've done to prevent it. But you may never know why exactly. And there's probably nothing anyone could've done to prevent it. After the initial shock, sadness, and confusion is over, anger sets in. This is the process my friend hasn't gotten to yet. I think if it had been me, I would've pulled up myself up by my bootstraps and said, "I'll be damned if I let this keep me from doing what I need to do for myself and my family." I would've taken my 6 weeks off work to mourn. But I think sooner or later the anger sets in.

Somehow we have to move on and live our lives, always remembering the love of our lives.

Answer 6

I cannot even imagine this. It must be heartbreaking and very confusing at the same time. There must be a support group in your area for this kind of thing. Please seek one out. I know this much from what I've read, it's not your fault. A person who is able to do that generally has some sort of mental imbalance where at the moment is unable to see any other options out of their problem. Take care of yourself and get well.

Answer 7

Move on, your spouse chose to be selfish and commit suicide.

Answer 8

Definitely go and speak to a grief counsellor.

Answer 9

pragmatically