my wife has developed averson(hate) for sex,what should i do?

Question

i have strong libido but my wife is not cooperating me.she is 40.

is it natural?

Answer 1

It's perfectly natural, ask youself whether you still please her or just worry about youself! Maybe worries and kids tire her out as well.

Answer 2

Seems like nobody has an answer for you, guy. I wanted to see what people had to say also. I hear there's a book called His Needs, Her Needs maybe try to find that and have her read it. Or just give her a little time, be supportive, show her that you're not just interested in sex (I know it'll be hard when you're not getting any). After maybe a month or so of not even bringing up the subject (I know it pains me to think about it let alone write it) then set up a romantic evening and work up to it. If she still wants no part of it you have some serious issues to deal with. Start with having her go to the doctor, if that doesn't work counselling. If that doesn't work or if she refuses to address the issue altogether, you have to make the decision- lonely nights with her or every night without her. Good luck- can't claim to be an expert on this one, hopefully I helped out.

Answer 3

Give her a break. She may be going through menopause, or life is tiring her out, or the kids are too much bloody hard work, or she may feel that everything and everyone in the world is demanding something from her including you, with your 'strong libido'. Let her have a rest. Provide lots of cuddles but don't make demands. Be friendly and reassuring and don't demand sex for a few months. Show her that there are many many reasons why you love and value her, not just sex, and if you keep doing this for as long as it takes, she will feel so happy with your unselfishness that she'll make an effort to make you happy too.

Answer 4

First thing my dear friend, try to know why she has developed and aversion.

Second thing to do, introspect if you have missed out anything. Usually we would always want her to do something for us more than how much we consciously give what she really wants in sex. Or how she wants.

Thirdly, Sex needs some rest. You gotto give it a pause. Let her come back to the normal. Maybe you had quite enough to make it look monotonous now. Change is the key.

Fourth, handle it tenderly, lovingly, affectionately. Do not make it look that sex is more important than her to you. She needs the same love you been giving her all the way. Or she would need more too. You need to be loved by her too right?

I know it damn sure works. This is my own experience.

Answer 5

it depends on her hormone level. If she is starting early pre-menopause (which this would be really early), she might have a lower level of estrogen. Women hit their sexual peak about 30 on average. Is there another reason that she does not like to have sex. Is she uncomfortable with her body for some reason? Did anything happen to her recently traumatic that could have changed her? Is there anything in her life that is extra stressful? Did one of your kids just move out of the house? I am just asking these questions to open your mind to any possibilities that you may not have thought of. Men and women think alike and it is not easy to understand each other sometimes. It could also be that she is 40. There are many people who go through a life change at the decade marks of their life. Is there anything about you that you have changed lately? Maybe it was subtle and she noticed and is taking it to heart.

Ask yourself these questions. I am going to be 30 this year, I don't know how it feels to be 40, but it puts you in perspective of alot of things in life when you are at these decade years. The easiest thing you could do is ask her.

Answer 6

Get yourself in counseling. You are obviously blind to some very big faults in the way you think and behave. Most likely she is reflecting and shielding herself from what you are projecting. Just your question here, sounds selfish and bullish (not to mention a person that daily chooses to be ignorant), I can only imagine what she must be getting from you, in person, in the way of pressure. You mentioned nothing about her needs and desires. Is it natural not to want to have sex with a smelly, rude, and obnoxious gorilla? I think so.