My b/f is 36 years old and I'm 46. We don't have much in common at all & it causes me alot of stress. We don't like the same kind of music or movies. He is a social butterfly & I'm more shy. He is into biking, rock climbing, hiking, running, and anything that gets your heart pumping. I enjoy the outdoors, but don't like to kill myself to have fun. He has a huge family, and I don't. He has a Ph.D. and I never even finished my Associates Degree. I don't know why we're still together after nearly 2 years of dating & finally moving in together. We love each other, but is love enough to make this relationship work?
2006-07-07 21:43:37 · 4 answers · asked by Kat_Christ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
In my experience, it is more important that your future goals and view of the future are in line. I love that my husband and I have absolutely no hobbies in common. If we need some time with friends, he heads to the golf course and I hit the rink. If we need some solo time, I work on my scrapbook and he goes out to his woodshed. What has worked for us that the big things about what we want to do with our lives (children, careers, etc.) and how we view the future (our view of where we want to be when we retire) are in line with each other.
In my opinion, having a bunch of likes/dislikes, hobbies, or other social aspects in common is just the surface. You could have those things 100% in common with someone, but if you are not on the same path forward, the relationship is probably doomed.
Hope this helps...best wishes!
2006-07-07 21:53:51 · answer #1 · answered by Zana 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Without a doubt love is a powerful force, but having things in common really means very little. Having a common purpose or goal or drive to arrive at some preplanned retirement also really means very little. What you really need to focus on is "attitude". Yours and his attitude toward one another will make you or break you. That is the only thing any of us has to build a meaningful relationship upon. If the attitude is open, understanding, patient, forgiving, generous, trusting, without dominance, without one-upmanship, without jealousy and suspicion, then you will have a great relationship. Ask yourself do you want to see this person happy and do you want to help them be and have all they can? Does this person reflect the same attitude towards you? These things and these things alone are all any of us have to build a meaningful relationship upon. Not our hobbies, possessions, finances, backgrounds, education, race, age, or religion. Good luck.
2006-07-07 22:42:24 · answer #2 · answered by Love is the principle thing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 2 years, and not developing any common interests is not good. Why is it that you stick around him? Is he fun? My boyfriend is the opposite of me in a lot of ways, he's social.. I'm not.. he's extremely smart, I'm not.. but we both enjoy the same entertainment and lifestyle. That's how it has worked for us. I'm not sure how it might work for you.
2006-07-07 21:52:28 · answer #3 · answered by JassyJoules 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be difficult for your relationship.
2006-07-07 21:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by pyj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋