have you guys felt so lonely that you just needed a hug. And you would about let anyone do it Just so the pain would go away. But you can't do that because your married. Now what?! I mean a real hug just sit and hug and talk without no distrusts. Is that still out there or is that a stupid thought?
2006-07-07 20:31:01 · 14 answers · asked by Jus me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not about being weak per say..but I am so strong so often..I feel like its my turn.
2006-07-07 20:39:44 · update #1
awwwwwwwwwwwww, i feel what you mean the person i want the hug from and to be held by is not available and when he is he is not the overly affectionate type i am so starving from attention... i want to be held so much all the time i have really been feeling lonely but no one understands how much a Lil attention goes a long way but....i don't feel i can get that type of comfort or attention from someone else (OR WANT IT FROM ANYONE ELSE)and not have them interpret it as sexual..i really want it from my fiance but i have out right asked..hinted and now i just suffer alone as i sleep alone 90% of the time!
2006-07-07 20:46:48 · answer #1 · answered by Rain S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hugs and affectionate physical contact are absolutely necessary for well-being. Many years ago in the field of psychology, studies were done with infant monkeys who were taken away from their mothers at birth and placed with a "replica" mother made of wire. They had no physical contact with other monkeys or humans, but they received the healthy food needed to keep them alive. Nevertheless, these infant monkeys failed to thrive, and some died.
There is also the case of Romanian orphans who were severely underweight and psychologically stunted because they received no loving contact. They too were at risk for death.
Besides these studies, it's a felt need to be hugged and understood that cannot be denied. If you're not getting this need met through your spouse, you may want to get to the root of the problem. Is your spouse a non-affectionate type? Is there something unusual going on in your spouse's life that is temporary? Is your spouse angry about something? And so on...
It isn't in your best interest to "let anyone do it." Because you are needy, you must be careful that you are not taken advantage of. Also, if the need for hugs and caring turns romantic, you risk doing worse damage to your marriage. Before turning to someone who could potentially become an outside romantic interest, you should explore the source of emptiness in your marriage, and try solutions such as open communication of your needs, mediation, and counseling. You also need to assess how much the loss of your marriage might mean to you, if your potential infidelity were discovered. Besides, ethically you should not become involved in a romantic situation with someone else while married -- it's not fair to you, your spouse, or your romantic partner -- you could all become hurt more deeply.
Some people can find pets to be comforting. You can hug them and receive a great deal of love from them.
Your question is not stupid. But do be careful, and think about any actions you take. Good luck!
2006-07-07 21:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by Peace Pup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with wanting a hug. A desire for physical contact is not a sign of excessive neediness or weakness. Rather, it is a common reaction (especially for mammals) to emotional stresses. Being married does not make people immune to basic needs. Remember that hugging is not necessarily a sexual act; it is an act of affection and friendship. Try asking a good friend or relative -- someone you trust. Simply say you need a hug. Someday someone else may need a hug from you.
2006-07-07 20:43:29 · answer #3 · answered by expatturk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone gets that way once in a while and it's great to get a hug by someone just to let you know that you are thought of and loved and that your not alone in this world. Everyone should get at least 20 hugs a day I think to keep the gloom's a way so here's a hug from me all you need is 19 more and your good. o.k. who's next in the hug line?
2006-07-07 21:11:21 · answer #4 · answered by outlawprincess5321 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, its nice to enjoy an embrace (oooh is that physical contact) and unfortuneately my wife hasn't hugged me in years..... getting close to divorce, so yes, it's not a silly question, and I'm feeling lonely and sending you a virtual hug :) But also the pain never seems to go away, or maybe it will after some time. Oh well....
2006-07-07 20:42:42 · answer #5 · answered by FearDragons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this may sound stupid but a friend once told me that if you ever get lost in the woods to hug a tree, that this would give you a sence of comfort, I thought it sounded silly but I tried it and it worked, I know this sounds real hiipy and all but I just thought i would share, I too often feel the need for a hug, and I have a wife to do that for me regularly I think that the feeling is normal, even for those of us that are not alone
2006-07-07 20:48:47 · answer #6 · answered by the wonderer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about your husband, that' is what he should do, if he can't give it to you, i think you are married the wrong guy, long life ahead, either work on marriage, or move on, it is not healthy to feel so lonely, especially if you are married.
2006-07-07 20:39:56 · answer #7 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes dear, I do need a hug, I am very lonely,... and I would Hug you back without any expectations,....
2006-07-07 20:38:38 · answer #8 · answered by sylvester M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i totally understand.
its still there, but only certian straight guys understand.
it does make it harder when u r with someone and still feel alone.
i'll pass u a hug from the heart. smile kid it will get better:)
2006-07-07 21:20:39 · answer #9 · answered by jesse james 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no that is not a stupid thought we all need some one to talk to and laugh with all the time I don't have that either
2006-07-07 20:36:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋