Im a boy, I live with my mom. and my mom and dad got divorced But I hate every guy that tries to out with my mom. and if she meets someone I freak out and start yellign at him and swearing at him. I feal really jealous and mad that my mom is trying to go out with guys. but why? and should I let my mom go out with guys again?
2006-07-07 20:12:13 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your mom is allowed a life too sweetie.
You don't have to be the man in the house and I am sure the guy will not stop her from loving you.
Why don't you try liking him for your mom's sake and see what happens.
2006-07-07 20:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by cheeky chic 379 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for boys to feel the way you are, that is not only jealousy, but also a protection feeling and the hope that she will sometime go back with your father.
One thing you have to try understand is that your mother loves you, and will always do, even though she find a boyfriend.
I believe you love your mother and want her to be happy, as sad as can be, you will have to understand that there are somethings she needs and you cannot provide.
The divorce is always a shocking experience to all the parts, kids and parents, she needs to feel pretty, she needs to feel she is not wasted just because her marriage failed, I'm sure you can help her, try to accept that she might find a guy that will make her happy, that will bring a smile on her face, and that you will like a person that will, seriously, try to make her happy.
You will have to understand that there are some guys that won't be able to do that, but is your mothers duty deal with that, not yours.
If you continue acting like that what will happen is that she will hide this from you, and you will no longer be her partner and will become a burden.
Be happy and let your mother be too.
2006-07-07 23:13:48 · answer #2 · answered by joseclaudio2001us 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural that you would want to protect your mom. Also, let me say that it doesn't seem that there are many young men out there that care that much to do that anymore, so kudos for you!
It's sad that your mom and dad divorced. I don't know how long it's been since they split, but eventually she's going to have to move on with her life. You will get older and want to spend time with your friends and such as she will. You won't be willing to stay around your mom all the time to keep her company, nor should you. She's going to want a special someone her own age to spend time with and share all the things that married couples share when they make that commitment, in addition to having someone to help her share the burdens of maintaining a household. Give your mom a break on this while she is young enough and attractive enough to attract the fellow that will attract her.
Of course, if the fellow she is going out with is abusive and such I would use my influence to try and get her to find a decent guy; they're out there if you look in the right places.
Dear Old Dad
2006-07-07 20:38:36 · answer #3 · answered by Dear Old Dad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father is your father and cannot be replaced...no matter who your mom goes out with. She is just dating right now...not looking to get remarried...dating. There is a big difference. I know it's hard for you to understand this emotionally even though you logically know this...but your mom is a flesh and blood woman with feelings and deserves to be happy. Your mom and dad did not find happiness with each other. Please respect that from both sides as your dad will be dating as well. She deserves to be happy, why would you prevent her from doing so? All kids want their parents to get back together, but it's not going to happen. Let her live her own life without butting into her business. That's not fair to her. This is not easy for her to do, she is starting over again when she didn't think she'd have to. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. Let her date..let her be happy.
2006-07-08 00:29:31 · answer #4 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what it was like being that age and having my parents split. Yes you should let your mom move on with her life, you don't have to like every guy she goes out with, but to make it easier on you why don't you make this deal with her, tell her not to bring any guys home to meet you until she is serious about this guy. Because it is really hard to be friendly when you feel that this guy is trying to take your dad's place. No one can take his place, hopefully she will find someone who believes that, but you also need to let her find him. It is hard on your mom being single and being a good mom. Give her a break.
2006-07-07 22:30:47 · answer #5 · answered by tommyslili 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, my ex husband was like you once. He told me the story of when he was a teenager and had gone to live with her. She had left when he was 4 and he had always felt abandoned because of it so when he met up and went to live with her he got very possesive.
If a guy went out with her he started acting like her boyfriend and this really got his mum down and she is a strong woman, knows her mind and not scared of speaking her mind and simply put him straight 'My life, stay out of it', but this didn't stop him getting between her and her b/friend/s.
She ended up sending back to his dads because she found it embarressing and humiliating.
My ex as a man admits his problem was fear, and wanted his mum all to himself (her attention) and feared losing her to a man and scared of not receiving the love from her. He obviously now knows different.
My son was like you too. When his dad and I separated he become 'Daddy boys', thought he could boss me, my children around. I never experienced the same with somebody else as been alone but I do think his behaviour other ways demonstrated that. Do you tell your mum what to do too?
I felt as if he was trying to be the man in the house, he was actually very abusive and I feared he was going to be violent but his behaviour was being 'the man of the house'........something you feel?
He and I get on great now, but he couldn't see his behaviour, you can!
Good lad, you must have intelligence to want to sort this out and you can do it if aware of the problem and concentrate on resolving the problem by fighting it. Keep positive with the knowledge that you are her son, not her father or husband or boyfriend. She has her own life.
How would you feel if she started behaving in a controlling way preventing you having a independant life?
I wish you luck, and God Bless You
2006-07-07 21:46:51 · answer #6 · answered by WW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well by god if you lived near me well I'd just snatch you up and make ya go fishing. I can tell your a good guy from wanting t try to talk this out. It is natural to be protective of your mom. and if you feel wrong about her going out with guys let her know.!!! I say this because if they really want to date your mom, they better get on your good side first!
2006-07-07 20:29:29 · answer #7 · answered by toolman0u812 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom deserves the right to go out. Don't be jelous, and don't try to stop it. If you feel it's wrong understand that people learn from mistakes...she is trying to find someone that is more compatiable for her needs now. People grow and change and apparently your parents grew apart. You can't stop her from continuing to grow. And if she meets someone she should be the one to decide if that person is right or not.
2006-07-07 20:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by Ellen M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it hurts, but your mom needs to have her adult life. Maybe you can be friends with her friends. Maybe they will teach you things, like computers, cars and video games. I have come from a broken family, plus my kids have gone through it, and now I have a step Daughter. Its not easy.
Try some counseling, don't be afraid to ask your mom to help you find one, they will help you deal with this.
Good luck.
2006-07-07 20:34:22 · answer #9 · answered by whatshisface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom has a life too. You can't replace your dad, but, hey, you never know if one of these guys will be great. So give you mom some room. You never know...
2006-07-07 20:22:16 · answer #10 · answered by sweetbabboo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋