generally im an insecure person and tonight i had sex with my 2nd partner ever out of haste we werent thinking we were sober though and used protection not our heads we both thought it was too soon to be having intercourse so we have decided to hold off for a couple more weeks untill we're more comfortable with each other is it wise?? i do like him but im not sure if in a romantic way but i hope i dont ruin my chances wih him now by postponing sex for a vbit to get to know him better we talked on it he seemed cool with it hes sweet i feel kinda cheap and im always comparing my own sex life to other peoples... like how many men do most women sleep witj on avg in her life and how many guys has she slept with am i normal??? how do you know when its the right guy or the right time to sleep with them, im really confused pelasde help..
2006-07-07 19:55:42 · 12 answers · asked by bobbo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
it is the right time, when u feel secure to have sex with him... if u r not ready then u don't need to have sex... i think u made a good decision...he'll be with u if he dates u for u and ur personality... if he dates u for sex then he'll leave...
but if u want communicate with him and tell him how u feel....
2006-07-07 20:00:10 · answer #1 · answered by answerer101 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mostly I'd encourage you to be true to yourself and follow your heart. If you want to wait to ahve sex then the right man will be OK with it. If he's not OK with it, for whatever reason, he's not the right man. Relationships are easy like that, but that doesn't make it easy, if you follow my meaning.
Anyway, in my experience, if you had sex with him it's very difficult (though not impossible) to get to know each other the same way as you could before being intimate. The problem is sex is such a huge deal to people, once you have it, it's pretty much "take me as I am" from then on. There's no more caution, no more negotiation in the relationship. It doesn't have to be this way, but unless you can be extrememly comfortable with yourself and let yourself be naked an vulnerable like that and STILL maintain your own integrity (which since your first five words are describing your insecurity I'm going to just figure isn't you, you can just kinda figure that's how it works, I think.
Anyway, good luck. Remember, above all else, be true to yourself. Love yourself, be kind to yourself, be compassionate with yourself. That's how you draw that stuff into your life.
2006-07-08 03:06:17 · answer #2 · answered by bakum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you actually answered your own question in part. You said that you "feel kind of cheap" about the experience. It really is best to not have sex with anyone until you are married to that person, because you will actually become cheap by having sex with people that you don't intend on marrying. You also risk an unwanted pregnancy as well as STD's. It doesn't matter what other people think is normal when it comes to a sexual relationship or how many people the other people have been with. It only matters what feels right to you. Marriage is the best time to get into a sexual relationship.
2006-07-08 03:08:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you have your head on straight. If the only way to keep a guy is to have sex with them, then he's not worth your time. A REAL man will wait until YOU are ready and not a moment sooner. If I were you I'd wait a lot longer than a couple of weeks because after sex what else is there? Sex is only a fringe benefit. The mind and heart are the most important. I hope you use them and not your groin to make your decisions. Best of luck to you.
2006-07-08 03:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by chisledstar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought about that stuff all the time when i was a teenager (comparing my sexual habits with those of others), i'm almost positive that it's completely normal. As for the sex, I'm assuming you're a teen and being such, you have all the time in the world for sex. If you are in a situation and you know it's right, go for it. if you have to talk yourself into it, you might as well just wait. Most teen relationships are really just practice for when you get older. i know it doesnt seem like it now, but i assure you, being in my early 20's now and looking back, i wish i would have spent more time on things i liked and things that would help my future and less on what people thought of me and who i had sex with.
2006-07-08 03:19:14 · answer #5 · answered by Lestat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is normal for when we have sex? Its almost imposible to say.outside of the legal, moral and safety guidelines that we have given to us.
The age at which people have sex and the subsequent frequency with which they have sex varies vary widely.
I think your feelings (post-sex) are more important to deal with. You say "I feel cheap", you feel like you have let yourself down. You question does not state your age. Its not wrong to share yourself intimately with someone you love as long and you are of an age and maturity to choose share in and enjoy the experience.
Such intimacy opens a new door in a relatoonship. But rememer that you (or he) can choose to wait some time before you did this again (if ever). Sex is part of a relationship and you can share your doubts with him. Maybe he is thinking the same?
Yoo also said "we have decided to hold off". You both sound sensible and wise to me. Talk with him learn from this I am sure you can be closer as a result of sharing your thoughts.
From the questions in here, and in other places, some people record having their first sexual experience at 10, others as late as 20+.
When is the right time to sleep with someone? When you are the other are
* in love
* in secure relationship
* of an age and state of mind to mutually choose the experience
* when you mutually consent to it
* when you have the necessary protection.
Does this help?
Peter
2006-07-08 03:14:05 · answer #6 · answered by Peter H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I 'm like you extremely unexpierenced . I am 30 & have been with 5 men . I have found , that love is very different from passion ! When you finally get with a man who has your rythem down pat-- everything will just happen wonderfully for you ! A good thing to know , that i had to learn the hard way..... If you can't dance perfectly with a man , he doesn't have perfect rythem with you ! You might wanna just hang out and dance with men , to help you find out who you would be sexually compatible with !
You must dance dirty , to booty music to find out !
2006-07-08 03:24:25 · answer #7 · answered by listenup_yall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you have feelings for him and care about him and know the consequences of your actions then i say it is fine to pursue a sexual relationship with him...just know how he feels and if something happens you arent happy with how it will affect you...good luck and i hope i helped
2006-07-08 03:00:41 · answer #8 · answered by Due 3/12/10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pull down your pants at the first chance u only live once. if it feels good do it.
2006-07-08 03:01:46 · answer #9 · answered by kurleylovescheese 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do it . earliest your life is waiting and don t regret come what may and take proper protections
2006-07-08 03:08:57 · answer #10 · answered by midas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋