My friend has had 2 different married men both in their 40's that hit on her. Is it strange for married 40 yr old men to flirt (not anything serious) with a 14 year old girl? One guy told the girls friend she was hot, pretty and gorgeous... What do you think?
2006-07-07 19:50:56 · 48 answers · asked by allison 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The guy who commented about her is her boy friend's neighbor. The guy and my friend were both at her boy friend's house. The guy asked if the guy and girl were going out and after they said "no" he said "why not dude, shes so hot dude shes really pretty and gorgeous..." something along the lines of that...
2006-07-07 20:00:43 · update #1
This kind of thing infuriates me beyond reason. The one person I care most about in this world was a victim of this kind of relationship. A guy in his late 30s manipulated her when she was 14, and practically made her a prisoner. Her family was screwed up/barely existent, meaning he was all she had to turn to, and he abused that power in ways that make me want to do very non-Christian things to him. So yes, I'd say -that- is wrong.
On the other hand, a human can't help how they perceive the world around them, the perception is automatic. It's only natural for an older man to be attracted to a younger female, but it matters what he CONSCIOUSLY decides to think about, and matters even more how he decides to ACT on those thoughts. There's nothing wrong with him finding her attractive, or even saying so, as long as he isn't planning on doing something to her, or trying to actually -get- something from her. Unfortunately, there's no way to know what he's thinking or planning.
Also, don't jump the gun, if it was just casual comments made offhandedly, he's probably just being nice to her. If he's leering and seems like he's trying to pick her up, though, BUST his *** and see him put in jail where the [I've decided to censor the rest of this sentence as, if I don't, it will surely be deleted by the Yahoo folks] belongs.
2006-07-07 19:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by nex_nox_noctus 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is actually frightening news and some real serious problems. The older guys should not be flirting with a 14 year old. You should inform your parents or a teacher, police officer, some one you trust that is of adulthood age. It starts with some flirting then leads to more later. I've worked in a prison trust me that is how it starts. You have a serious situation on your hands get some help.
2006-07-07 19:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by Tazz Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should be suspicious and very careful.
An adult male (aged 40) should not be attempting to form a relationship with a 14 y/o girl. Such a girl would be the age of their daughter.
A 14 y/o girl may well be pretty and seen as desirable but there is no way that a relationship between her and a 40 y/o is one of equals.
In my country (Australia) sexual involvment with 14 y/o is not legal.
The girl needs to tell her parents what is happening.
Peter
2006-07-07 19:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by Peter H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a man is not completely aware of a girl's age, he can sometimes be QUITE surprised when he actually finds out! In my life, I have been attracted to some quite young ladies, who at the ages of perhaps 13 to 18, had all the physical attributes of a woman of 21! Is that "normal"?? Most will say I'm a pervert, and indeed it is not normal! But I would have to beg to differ! You can stay completely away from them, and STILL be attracted! It's the biological urge that attracts you, but it is the civilized human male that stays as far away as possible!! And I would STRONGLY encourage men to STAY AWAY, and NOT to make comments of a sexual nature to ANY female that REMOTELY looks younger than 21!!! It's called "sanity" and "self-preservation"!!!
2006-07-07 20:06:44 · answer #4 · answered by Rebooted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it offends you or feels wrong than you shouldn't have to put up with it. You Either have 3 or more options 1. You can try to avoid this man completely 2. You can confront him and tell him to stop or a Better idea in my perspective 3. Tell your parents about it and they will stop it etc The man might not be trying to do so and i don't think he is a big pedo. it all depends on the speed. if hr like wipes his hand down ur face slowly than that isn't cool if don't like it or think it is wrong. He may be just sensitive or something. Does he have kids of his own or something hope that helps so he may be or may not
2016-03-26 21:16:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is very strange. No man 40 years old should ever speak that way to any underage girl. Men that age are just looking for someone young and vulnerable (such as your friend) because young girls are more susceptible to flattery and compliments, and are much easier to manipulate. Tell your friend to stay away these guys. Those are not the sort of compliments any 40 year old man should be giving to a 14 year old girl.
If the man continues speaking to her that way, then then she should go to her parents, and let them know what he has been saying to her.
2006-07-07 20:00:22 · answer #6 · answered by DG 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call the police... Inform the 14 year old parents. keep the guy away from the 14 year old. Child Petifile written all over. Save this girl from this man. Not it is not normal. I think the men need to be turned in, if they are doing it to her how many other young girls are they flirting with or going online and picking up..........
2006-07-07 19:53:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with all the answers plus she needs to tell someone, if she is friends with the family and knows the wife then she should tell her, of course she probably won't believe her, but she needs to put it out there becuase if they are doing it to her then they might be trying to do it to others and succeed!!!! There are a lot of confused teenage girls that would be flattered and take them up on the offers becuase they are not old enough to know they are being taken advantage of. She should also tell an adult she trusts, hopefully a parent. The more people that know about these freaks the better!!!!!!
2006-07-07 19:57:07 · answer #8 · answered by simplyfabulous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To recognize beauty is normal. A baby can be beautiful. To hit on a 14 yr old girl is not acceptable, but telling her she is pretty or gorgeous (assuming proper circumstances, ie: he's a friend of the family and she's going to a dance and he says "oh, you look gorgeous (or pretty) tonight! have fun.") (i like to assume the best in people)
2006-07-07 20:25:47 · answer #9 · answered by Lestat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is every kind of man out there. Most are worthless self centered POS's. It's normal to be attracted and give a girl a compliment to boost her ego, but if it happens regularly and these men are habitually approaching her with the same type of comments then yes, they have their heads in the wrong place and would probably take advantage of her if given the right opportunity. She needs to be educated of this if she hasn't been already and something should definitely be said to these older individuals to remind them of their conscience and put them in their place.
2006-07-07 19:58:33 · answer #10 · answered by Gerrit W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋