My boyfriend ahs been saved before but he is a backsliding christian. I cont want to back out of the realtionship because he has to many people leave out of his life already. BUt thats not the only reason. I think that i can change him. Im just not one hundred percent sure. I really dont want to break it off with him.
2006-07-07 19:40:16 · 17 answers · asked by jsscwhittington 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
don't change him. either love him for who he is or back the heck off.
2006-07-07 19:42:22 · answer #1 · answered by markwett 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wake up and smell the coffee honey, you can not change anyone that don't want to be changed. Leaving him is the best thing that you can do for him, if he truly loves YOU he will make the appropriate changes in his life and get right with god and you. Don't be pushed into maintaining a relationship because of his life experiences and you feeling guilty that you might hurt him. He is hurting you by not doing right by god. Tell him you are going to give him some space to decide what is important to him, and if he decides it is you then tell him what you expect. If he does it, move on in the relationship, if he does not or if he backslides again, run for the hills and be thankful that you haven't invested as much time into it as you could have.
2006-07-07 19:46:23 · answer #2 · answered by simplyfabulous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it's a mistake to try to "change" someone. Change only works if the person is willing to be changed. In this aspect, if he expresses a desire to deepen his Christian faith (you said he has already been saved, yes?), you can offer to help him. But remember that your faith walk is not the same as his, and so you should allow him to take the lead and you be the support.
Is he rejecting Christ, or rejecting his pastor or his church community, or is he merely apostate. These are different problems. The apostate can be made alive, but those who reject Christ have errors to answer for and be corrected.
You must also ask yourself, would you be willing to continue the relationship if he rejects Christ, or at least if he lives in a different Christian walk than yours. I have a friend who was deeply in love with a guy, but broke it off when he said he thought gays could legally marry, just not in church.
There's a big difference between being a non-Christian and being a bad Christian. IT's good to recognize these.
Above all, make sure he doesn't bring you down or away from your faith.
2006-07-10 03:17:17 · answer #3 · answered by Veritatum17 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off~ You can't change someone...it will make the relationship fail and you will be miserable.
Second off~ Love him for who he is or leave him
Third off~ He has to change on his own if he wants to and you can only be there to support him, not push him or overly guide him, just be there 100 % for him.
Fourth off~ Does he know that you want him to change, How does he feel about this?? You two must be very clear with each other and want you want from the other and if you can't provide that for him and he can't provide that for you and you or him aren't willing to let those things go then Move on!
Oh Ya~~~~ Good luck to you~
2006-07-07 19:49:21 · answer #4 · answered by pinkribbons&walking4boobies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not change him. He is the only person that is capable of changing himself. He has lost his way in life and has forgotten where Christ should be. It is only when he has decided to make the changes that he will fall back into a life with Christ. You cant' do anything, other than to offer him your friendship and support.
2006-07-07 19:46:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From someone who married someone and is now divorced very rarely can you change anyone but yourself. You can love them , pray for them but you yourself cannot change them. If they change only for you , if you are away or you leave they will go back to their old ways. Take it from me if they are going to change let it be them that wants to change. If you are a christian than do you think this is who God wants you with? I dated guys trying to save them, it doesnt work , you end up the one who will be hurt. Pray for him
2006-07-07 19:46:02 · answer #6 · answered by raulrachelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-14 05:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, You can`t and don`t have the right to CHANGE him.. You must let him be WHO he is. Keep praying for him.
You don`t have to be a part of his backsliding. You hang to the faith and leave this to God. He loves his children and will ALWAYS do what is right for them..
God will deal with him. This is between him and GOD..
God bless & Hugs from Texas. {:-)
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2006-07-07 19:45:53 · answer #8 · answered by jaantoo1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do u want to make him a Christian anyway? It seems you have allowed ur inherent spirituality to be brainwashed into Christian rigidity by the Church! Think outside Christianity and allow ur own spiritual nature to take precedence over what you have been taught.
2006-07-07 19:50:57 · answer #9 · answered by xy_man333 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pray for him, it is not us to change him..it is the Lord that would change him..Include him to your prayers everyday.
It just like praying our family and asking GOD to touch their life, and all we can do is to remind them that they are loved and forgiven.. not us to change them...
however you want to turn from GOD, it is your choice..you know where you going and you don't blame people about your faith..
bless you..
2006-07-07 19:43:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Loving someone means that you accept them for who they are no matter what and not trying to change them.
2006-07-07 19:46:15 · answer #11 · answered by Tan B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋