im 25 this way, e relationship started during school time 10yrs ago we grew up in totally diff backgrd, he stop schooling after high sch while i went all e way till uni, he's got his own biz now, n he wants to marry me.. im bloody hell freaking out cos i cant see myself getting married at this pt, he is very possessive, he controls my dressing, my friends, my thoughts, my freedom. he doesnt allow me to go out w friends and cannot even talk to a single guy. he talks abt planning a marriage w me, but i cant see myself marrying him. i've tried to leave but he threathens me that he will kill me cos i wasted his 10yrs of time.. i dun wan to let all these affect my parents as i dun wan them to know they will nag at me cos they never like him in e first place..its all my choice n now i wants out. how do i make him stop loving me and back out automatically without making things ugly.. if i was e one to initaite e breakup he will come to my house n office to kick a fuss. i cant jus dispp. help
2006-07-07 19:19:17 · 10 answers · asked by tragedy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do everything possible to get him to break up with YOU. Dress nasty, etc... Good luck.
2006-07-07 19:24:52 · answer #1 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, First off if you are not happy in a relationship you need to just leave him, 10 years is 10 years but at 25 years old you have a very long life a head of you and you need to be happy. I am sure the break up will be hard not only on him, but you as well. In 10 years there also have to be some good times that you have had. I suggest that you just let him know that it is time to move on and find other people. If you aren't 100 % sure about leaving him forever, maybe start by seeing other people and get into dating again. You have been with him since youwere 15 years old. Have you ever really dated truely adult dated anyone? No! and Neither has he and maybe that would be a good thing for the both of you. As for you parents, no matter if there like him or don't like him, they don't need to throw anything in your face for being or not being with him. When you leave him, just explain to your parents that it is over and just explain to them that you want to leave it at that and when you are ready to talk about it you will and that you would really respect that they not express there opinions on the sitution. If they have never liked them, I am sure that will respect this request from you. Good luck to you on this but rememeber, don't waste your time trying to get him to fall out of Love, If he is possesive as you stated he is, that probably isn't going to happen, cause after 10 years he know what he can get away with and he isn't going to want to leave and have to try that with someone else. Take Care of yourself and good luck in finding true love and happiness, you are still young so don't worry it will come.
2006-07-07 19:34:18 · answer #2 · answered by pinkribbons&walking4boobies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well girl you have no other choice if he threatened your life, call your local police and let them know about your intentions and his past threats and get a restraining order along with no trespassing papers and stay away from him and even tho you do not want to get your parents involved, maybe you better, it will only help you, and let your boss know if you feel it might be a problem at the work place... Now days domestic violence is a seirous matter and police know how to handle such problems, Just be sure you get the proper paper work from local District Court because there might be a small fee to pay, different in other states & county,s { Dugbug63 }
2006-07-07 19:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by dugbug63 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should CERTAINLY NOT stay with this man. I'm sorry that the situation is this bad! I'm guessing you are not American, and if I'm right, I don't know how the law works in your country. However, there must be some kind of personal protection order you can get against this man. You should definately go to the authorities each time he threatens you so there is a record of his conduct. I would go to your parents for help even if they "told you so." I'm sure they want the best for you and want to help you through this situation. Maybe there is a counseling center that deals with this sort of thing that you could go to for advice?
2006-07-07 19:31:00 · answer #4 · answered by Kincat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He threaten to kill U, it's call Criminal Intimination under Sec 309 Cap 224 carry up to 2 years imprisonment in Singapore. You have to leave him, you can't be happy with someone like him. Make a Police report, then leave him, if he turn nasty, the law will throw him into the prison! Remember, you are at the upper hand now, the problem is whether you want to be nasty with him or not.
2006-07-20 21:56:02 · answer #5 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personal question what nationality are you??? Or what nationallity is he? you said diffrent backgrounds, it may play a big factor here. Im american my bf/husband to be is Turkish. Once he started his bussness he can be controlling on who i talk to...what he dont want me to wear., and diffently NOT talking to guys. I on the other hand can do the same back. and wasting ten yrs of his life i can see where hed say that Because i wouldnt want to be stinged along" Tell him truth now! Be honest. or stop writting and calling... it will fade...
2006-07-07 19:32:40 · answer #6 · answered by Weeny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's threatened to kill you if you leave him (which is really messed up) then he needs serious help and you should report him to the police. it sounds to me like he doesn't love you bcuz if he did, he would want you to be happy, which you clearly aren't with him. he's sounds really selfish and controlling. i'd say really try to get out of the relationship. if he does anything or threatens it... tell someone in authority.
2006-07-07 19:26:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yr present brings memories of my past. i was just like yr bf but in the end i turn out to be a loser begging for forgiveness.
maybe yr bf is just playing mr right but internally he is afraid of losing you cos u r d only one that listen and he had been with for 10 years.
dont be afraid of wat will happen next but be harsh and leave him for good if u have decided and this will definitely teach him a lesson he will never forget for his life and thats wat happened to me now.
sorry but face the fact and not run away from the truth that u will still leave him 1day.
take care...
2006-07-07 21:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh wow sweetie sounds like there is no way to break it off easily. its going to have to be nasty...if you afraid get restraining orders, if you dont love him you cant marry him and he sounds like a horrible guy. you need to get away, have a friend help you get out
2006-07-07 19:25:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you are scared of him then maybe you should tell someone... guys are mostly all talk and i dont think that he will do anything... but i would tell like a guy friend or something to help you get out...
2006-07-07 19:33:30 · answer #10 · answered by *~Rachel~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋