How do you deal with a dead beat parent?

Question

My daughter's father only pays child support when he has too, better then nothing. She is his first child, he now has a son by someone else. He has only seen her twice and only emails her maybe once a month. he sees his son all the time and it hurts my daughter's feelings. He even has his name in his email addy. What can I say or do to try and help her with this? She is only 11 and has a great relationship with her step dad and jsut can't seems to understand why he doesn't want to be more active in her life. I have even tried to help him with it. HELP!!

Answer 1

Tell her that IN NO WAY IS IT HER FAULT THAT HER FATHER WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER. My oldest went through the same thing, and she was so insecure it broke my heart.....Found out later (through counseling) that she thought it was her fault that her daddy didn't come to see her or to spend time with her......God, people are so selfish sometimes.....Does he REALIZE the damage he has done to the poor dear??? I would send him an email myself and tell him that he is not meeting up to standards and explain what is going on with her....If he has an ounce of sense, he'll pay more attention to her.....Take care

Answer 2

My son is going through just Abbot the same thing right now. He is 10. although our story is a little different. My son lived with his father almost all his life. Currently his father as fallen into his addiction and my son doesn't see his dad anymore. He barely calls anymore. I tell my son his father loves him very much, but he is sick. I support my son and we have long talks regarding his dad and what I can do to help my son. He is only 10 but he comes up with great ideas sometimes to help himself. As much as I wish we could control or children's pain, we are powerless over it. All I can do is love my son, make sure he knows I love him and guide him through his pain. The rest is up to the fathers.

Answer 3

Unfortunatly,there is very little you can do to make this jerk get more envolved with his daughter,im sure you have already ask him to spare sometime with your little girl....is a shame you just tell her honey is not your fault and try to keep her mind from wondering why, why, why because it can damage her self esteem just tell her things like you have me...and i have you... and we have your daddy to thank, he will come around... things like that they will understand as they get older but right now you need to protect her fellings by making her believe that everything is keeping her daddy from her his busy schedule his work,right now you need to make him look good so she dont have to feel like crab..remember she is just a little girl when she gets bigger,she is going to put two and two together, but by then her emotional state will be strong enough to know the truth and accept it daddy was an asshole.... now legally you can do so much more..take his *** to court and get a lawyer find out how much he makes a month so your daughter get her fair cut..... this is what you have to do for her.... if he doesnt want to be in her life is ok, he doesnt have to but your going to make sure that his money is.... understand?? do it for her,she needs the support and that is his responsability dont take the load by your self honey.. good luck.

Answer 4

You can't fix the situation so don't try. It is up to him to choose to be in her life if he wants to. Whatever you do don't lie for him and try to make it looks like he is in her life more than she thinks she is and never ever talk bad about him when she is around. (When she gets older that will bite you in the butt). She has a step dad let him be her father. My step dad raised me since I was 9yrs old. Now that I am older and I see my sperm donor he is pathetic to me but my "dad" who raised me will always have my heart. My sperm donor doesn't even have my phone #.