I'm done and tired of the emotional abuse.I'm tired of feeling like I'm nothing. I met another man, and I won't sleep with him, but I don't see nothing wrong with seeing him.I can't just leave my husband, I don't have a job and I'm in over my head with credit card bills.Besides my husband is scared that I'll take his business away from him and has even threatened to leave the country and leave me with his debts.I feel like I am so desperate to find anybody that pays me any kind of attention. What do I do?
2006-07-07 17:13:49 · 18 answers · asked by curly98 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dear! You need to look for a job first & begin clearing off your credit card bills. More importantly, it seems like husband needs you more than you need him; since you metioned that he afraid that you will take away his business. Come to wonder what biz is he talking about?
Once you get these things out of way, I am sure you can have a pleasant relationship with the guy you've mentioned.
God bless you dear & I hope everything in your life changes for the better!
2006-07-07 17:21:28 · answer #1 · answered by swimmaholik 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is completely sick!
No one deserves to be emotionally abused. No one deserves to be made feel like they are nothing. Everyone deserves positive attention.
However, none of that gives you the right to cheat on your husband. You say you won't sleep with the dude. Sure, I believe you, why not? Yet, you are obviously going to do this behind your husbands back. If you are willing to carry on the lies of a curious, at best, relationship, why wouldn't you lie about the physical part, which, in your mind and most, is the worst, right?
The justification is absolutely ridiculous. You obviously know it is completely wrong or you wouldn't be here asking for some kind of acceptance. You start by justifying your behavior by blaming your husband. Then, without saying it, recognize that leaving would be the right thing and justify not doing the right thing by throwing out that you are financially irresponsible and don't work.
You state that your husband is afraid that you will take his business and has threatened to bolt on you and leave you with his debts? If this is true, what brought about this behavior? Did he threaten you because you told him you were going to leave him? Either way, that isn't right either. Threatening a spouse in order to keep them! That is crazy! This part of the post is just curious, because why would your husband be scared of something that he knows nothing about?...or is this just something that you believe to be true and throw out there to help convince yourself that your husband wouldn't boot you even if he found out....or, do you throw it out there to justify the fact that you "can't" leave or you will be punished? I don't know.
To answer your question, "what do I do about my husband," well, the best case would be to go to a professional and rectify your situation, oh, and cut your relationship with the other dude. If that isn't good enough, grow up, be an adult, be responsible for your actions, move out, file for divorce, get a job, get divorced and then pursue another relationship. I mean, if the other man is so great, wouldn't he help you?...or does he not really care that much. Unfortunately, after reading your post, you have decided to just cheat on your husband, stick your husband with your childish ways, justify your behavior by blaming your husband for you being a cheater, make everyones lives miserable, destroy your husband, your family, your friends and set back, relax and work your hardest to keep convincing yourself that it is your husbands fault that you are a cheater.
Good Luck!
2006-07-07 17:38:37 · answer #2 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First understand that sleeping with someone who is not your husband will only give you pleasure for the moment, the rest of the time you'll live with "guilt". That will slowly become harder to deal with then the emotional abuse. However, if you havent realized by now, you have something over your husbands head right now and its the business he is so afraid of losing. Understand that if you have any questions you should seek the advice of an attorney who can offer you solutions as far as what will happen to you financially. depending on how long youve been married , you may qualify for alimony. and i'm sure that you are able to work. find a job and regain your independance. No woman deserves to be mistreated least of all by someone they trust to love them. see an attorney.love yourself
2006-07-07 18:09:14 · answer #3 · answered by Storm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get Alimony and Childsupport if you have any children together, if you don't have children together, you will still get alimoney,you can get a lawyer and some lawyers will bill your husband for the attorney fees and he will have to pay his and your attorney fees when it's all said and done, make sure to get your own lawyer, you can stey in the home and he will have to make the house payments, he will also have to pay all the other bills(since you don't work) you are entitled to half of his retirments, and if you deside to sell the home, your entitled to half the equity, don't pay attention to his threats on leaving the country and leaving you to pay his debts, he's just trying to bluff you, you need to get your life back, your self respect, self worth, all that, if he is abusing you emotionally, you are the only one that can put a stop to it, let him bully someone one else, do not put up with it anymore, see,,,, we teach people how to treat us, and as long as your putting up with it, he'll keep it up, so, take him to the cleaners!
2006-07-07 17:29:36 · answer #4 · answered by shelly65 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, stop cheating on your husband. It is not fair to him, to you, or to the boyfriend. It IS wrong to see him.
And why don't you have a job? If there are preschool kids, I can see that as an issue. No kids or older kids, get a job and do something. If you are not part of the business, maybe you should be helping out.
2006-07-07 17:18:08 · answer #5 · answered by hack_ace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband need to have a serious talk. You need to tell him some changes have to be made because you're very unhappy. See if he'll consider counseling. If he won't go you go by yourself. You need to make some sense of your life before you can even think of being with someone else. You're running away, but you're really not going anywhere. Do this for yourself , your worth it.
2006-07-07 17:23:03 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i am kind of in the same boat as u are i am tired of the emotional abuse i know it sucks and i got a kid to i still love him but i just wish this could work out and i dont see anyt thing wrong with seeing the other guy as long as u dont sleep with him or any thing so go for it
2006-07-07 17:22:08 · answer #7 · answered by hotchick_8587 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the same girl that was so negative about me getting pregnant after 5 months of dating yet your dating some other guy behind your husbands back what makes you the better person! lol word of advice sweety keep your rude comments to yourself!
2006-07-10 18:45:13 · answer #8 · answered by jessica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from what you stated you don't have nothing to lose --- divorce splits bills down the middle --- make sure you tell your lawyer that your hubby has threatened to leave the country--- get that passport book!
2006-07-07 17:44:06 · answer #9 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop your husband, screw the hell out of the other man and go to court to get some alimony.
2006-07-07 17:16:37 · answer #10 · answered by wakalualua 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋