I am 19, pregnant, and want to start a good life for my child. What are my options?

Question

Ok, I am 19. I have my GED. I am 7 months pregnant. I stay in the mid west now and it seems like my life will never go anywhere here. I was thinking about running away from my verbally and emotionally abusive boyfriend. I want to go somewhere far like Texas. I want to be in a big city setting with alot of oportunities for me furthering my education and getting low income housing. I just want to start a good life for my child. WHat options do I have, or what would u suggest?

I definitely want to keep my baby, I am just struggling to find the best way to do this for him. I am leaving my bf, but it is hard because he handles all our money. And hasnt let me work since I was 3 months along. He is controlling. The last time I went to stay with my aunt, he found me and made me come home. I just want to start over.

Answer 1

Nici
1st get away from that man. Peace is what you and the baby need more than anything to ensure a better life. If your man can't enhance your life peacefully & respectfully, tell him to step. Seriously. The reason is you have too much to do to be worried about someone holding you back. There are plenty of wonderful men out there, so get away from that zero. Enjoy your life with your child and don't worry about a man right now. You can have a super promising future if you create one.
Set a plan. Go to college, a 4 year university. You'll get great financial aid b/c of your child. Exercise, eat right, destress and take care of yourself. Your current man will be sorry he couldn't be the one you chose when he's your ex. Be smarter and more mature than your friends. Look to older people for advice about life and parenting, but you will have wonderful maternal instinct coming. Get in touch with social services. Utilize programs for free and discounted services. Investigate them early. Don't wait til the last minute because some of that stuff takes time, so be ready for it. Ask other young ladies what they're doing for advice. When you get information, give it back to help others in your situation. What comes around goes around. You'll be blessed. If you have a support system, stay close to them. Ask for help when you need it. Stay strong. Don't feel sorry for yourself. This is your opportunity to improve your life like never before. Be patient because this will take a few years. But at least you won't be with that zero doing nothing with your life. These changes will be challenging and lonely sometimes, so be prepared. Pray!! Don't be discouraged. Most of all having a baby is a beautiful & exciting thing. Don't compare yourself to other people situations. Know that this is your personal journey, special only for you and yours. Be a proud, responsible, mature mother. Allow this to change you a little bit.
I can tell you are going to do well, just by your reaching out this way.
I wish you very best. Keep ya head up.

Answer 2

Adoption for your child and get the hell away from your boyfriend.
Honestly your only 19 are you really ready to take care of a baby, it sounds like you don't even have your life together. I'm not trying to be mean, I've just seen so many young mothers that may have meant well by keeping their baby, but honestly when your 19, have a GED, no proper education, low income, and in a abusive relationship what life do you expect to give your child. If you put your baby up for adoption there are many options, you can select a family yourself how much better is that. Also you can request to be able to see your child throughout his/her life many couples are open to this idea. Plus your child will have a great life, a good education, and will not hate you for making the right choice to give him/her a better life than you could have ever provided. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE seek help, i wont regret it.

Answer 3

Don't run, get a protective order and then move. Never run from a problem the will always find you in the end. You have your GED so start taking the step to get into college pick a on-line college or your local college might offer your basics on-line mine did. As far as your options I think I'm not sure before you can be offered low-income housing you have to 18 and the baby will need to be put on there as well. I almost have my degree in social work if I can help you in any way e-mail me and I will try.
[e-mail]

Answer 4

Honey, you need a LOT of help.

For the safety of your child, get away from that abusive boyfriend. Verbal and emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. It doesn't create a healthy environment for a child.

Do you have any money? Any family that can help out? Contact a women's shelter or a service that helps women get set up with housing. You need to come up with a well thought out plan. Don't act on impulses and run off to Texas and get stranded.

You're in a really bad situation, but don't get discouraged. Just try to find some resources and get on your feet. Your best bet is to get an education so you don't have to depend on abusive assholes to support you.

I wish you the best.

Answer 5

look...if you want to come to Texas, I live right near Dallas. I will be happy to find some shelters or get you some contact numbers. I can not give you any money or let you stay with me, but I do want to help. You need to do this WHILE you are pregnant....it is harder to leave when there is an actual baby around. THere is plenty of help, but along with that, things are a lot scarier than in the Mid west. I will be happy to help you...email me at [e-mail].

Answer 6

First, whatever you decide... you should get away from the abuse. You don't deserve it and neither does the baby. He probably will not change and it is not worth the risk

2nd, I would consider going to a large church for help. They can help you find good adoptive parents for your child. A child needs a father and mother that are stable.. I know you want a good life for your child and that would be best for your child.

When you are older... after college you can meet someone, GET MARRIED and start a family when you are ready

Answer 7

Try to get help going to college after you have the baby or try to get a good job. If you can't find a good job then work 2 jobs. When the baby is old enough try going to school and getting on financial aid to help you out. Leave your abusive bf. you dont need him to take care of your baby. Get help from family and friends. If you move try moving in with family or friends to help you with taking car of the baby.

Answer 8

If you want to keep your child and keep it and yourself safe, you need to leave your abusive boyfriend asap. If you don't want to keep your child, you still need to get away safely. Find a Crisis Pregnancy Center or a CareNet Pregnancy center or find a women's shelter in your area and they will help you prioritize your choices. Or get up the courage and go to someone in your circle of family or friends that can help. Get away quickly and leave no message of where you will be.

You don't say where you are but I did a search for Care Net pregnancy centers and a lot of information came up.

Answer 9

Kind of freaks me out to be giving advice on something big like this to a total stranger...I wish you the best.

I would try & locate a women's shelter or help group & find someone who's dealt with situations like yours before and can get you connected and tell you how to best protect yourself & your baby.

I would also sit down by yourself or with someone you trust & make a list of all your resources: money, friends, family, interests, talents & see where it leads. It sounds like you've already made a start.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Leave him! He is controlling your life and u and your baby will never be happy staying with him. Go to live with a realtive or friend that lives the farthest and go to college. After all your done with college go get a job and move out and u will see that u and your child will be happy.