I am a 37 m from Canada she is a 23 f from US with 2 wonderful kids. I love them dearly. Our pic is on my profile. Life is difficult, and it is hard being apart. I have a good job here, but because of issues with the kids father it is difficult for her to come here. Any suggestions????
2006-07-07 16:25:58 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
we met in a yahoo chat room that the clergy would not approve of lol
2006-07-07 16:56:00 · update #1
Actually no I'm not goin thru a divorce. The Biological *sperm donor* is a dead beat. But he does try to control my life as much as he can. I am the lovely lady this man is talking about. Smile! Our picture is on his yahoo id- kdi4_99 or I have one on miine Pierced_momma21. Thanks for bein on my side ladies!
2006-07-07 16:56:54 · answer #1 · answered by kim r 1 · 4⤊ 4⤋
Melt it off into a friendship and move on if the job is worth that much. If she is more important than anything else then find a new job in the states near her.
Long distance relationships are about impossible, even for married couples.
But also remember she is 23, she will still go through many changes during her 20's and you two might not be compatible the older she gets. This happened to me after a 5 yr relationship with one that was 10 yrs younger than myself.
The fact that she has the kids will stop anything you attempt to do to move her to Canada. Even though the Bible states that a husband and wife need to put each other first, too many American women put kids before their husbands. Now I understand you are not married so she has all the right to put them first cause you are a boy friend.
2006-07-07 23:33:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot ask us to decide for you whether or not you belong with this person. That question is something you need to ask yourself. But if you are truly in love time will show you the way to be together. There is always a way. Why can you not look for a job in the states near her? If you have qualifications I am sure you could find a great job here, possibly one better than what you have. Someone has to take the first step or your relationship cannot last. I am sure you know that or you would not be asking total strangers to give you answers. If she cannot come, then you must go to her, it seems you have no other options! Sometimes in life you have to take a plunge into the unknown. If you never jump, you cannot call what you are living a life.
Goodluck!
2006-07-07 23:32:46 · answer #3 · answered by jennanna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is very sweet... (and hey I checked .. I didn't see the profile pic ya promised..eh?) You should be man enough to let the kid's dad be a part of the (boys or girls?) children's lives you now.. You said she can't come up (and daddy wants to be around 'em..nothing wrong with that, right? right.) If she is a fine woman she will want what is right for her kids. (I know about all that 'sacrifice' stuff.. I've got 4.) I don't like that 'issues' reference here. I don't see it in the cards for you two.. I am thinking (sat here a few minutes mulling it over.) I don't think you and she are thinking of these kids, man.. (I may be wrong.. am I?) No job is worth it.. you should love her enough (and the kids.. you say you do) to move.. I have to be honest here.. if there are issues with the kids' father now, just think of the problems/fights you and he will have later.. RU ready for all that? I think not.. don't fret about it. Just realize it, let it sink in a bit, discuss it by all means with the gf, K? alright- (and I am sorry to write this.. life sux sometimes and that's the damned truth of it.)
2006-07-07 23:32:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Search and Search and Search for a job there, you must use the chances before they use you, try to move as hard as you can, what will it differ in the job from here and there, for me, if i will take much more less, i will also feel the best, because i have found people i love from my heart and this will never make the story fail because of the sacrifice you gave in order to be with her, both of you will respect this and your life will be the best, I know it is hard, but you must do it or you will feel after time that you should have done that thing
2006-07-07 23:29:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby regardless who you love relationships will always have their ups and downs. I have so much respect for you because you is willing to take her and her children in your life. The father needs to understand that the mother moved on. He will always have the right to see his children but its not fair for her to sacrifice your relationship but you need to sit down and talk to her. There may be a few issues that will happen 1. the age difference 2. the location 3. the children. Just talk and tell her how you are feeling and if there a way that you can figure it out then I am sorry to say that you will have to leave one another alone.
2006-07-07 23:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by panjel8402 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love them as much as you say you do. Leave your job and move closer to them. Ask your company if they have any job openings in the area of where your girl lives. Sometimes, God closes a window and opens a door. A door to better opportunities. Life is to short to let " a good job" stand in the way of happiness. I would find another job before making the move however. Good Luck!
2006-07-07 23:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by lfahrne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough it out, if it was meant to be, it will work. You may want to look in to job opportunities here, ya never know, you may find an even better job here. The kids father may find a new woman and want her and the kids gone. Life changes in an instant, it will work itself out one way or another. lol if not, I'm single and looking for Mr. right. good luck
2006-07-07 23:29:50 · answer #8 · answered by JackieH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out the pro-con . You are the only one that can find the real solution. If you make good income where you live, and you love this family, is the kids father to follow his children and take them with him whenever he can as long he is providing then. This is not a issue, she love you, she will follow you.
2006-07-07 23:31:42 · answer #9 · answered by flowermieses@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX My husband is from Comox BC. I was living in California when we met with my seven year old daughter. He had a great job in the Canadian Navy, almost 10 year veteren. Even though I had a great relationship with my daughters father, I was in love with my Canadian mate but did not want to move to Canada. He quite the Canadian Navy, we married, he joined the American Army and now we have four beautiful children and a good, very good life. We will be celebrating 13 year anniversay this august. Good luck to you. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2006-07-07 23:32:14 · answer #10 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the father of the children is a good guy it would seem to me that it would be criminal to seperate the children from him. If you want to enter the family you would ultimately have to move their. It would be the right sacrifice to make. Good luck!
2006-07-07 23:30:26 · answer #11 · answered by X 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋