she's almost 14 and pretty smart. boys call her a lot. I think its time her momma and I tell her about unprotected sex and how she wasn't planned. i think this will make her think and scare her a bit too.
2006-07-07 15:34:43 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
wow, some people are soo mean spirited. There isn't anything wrong with explaining to your daughter that she wasn't planned at the time. Explain that u luv her very much. Also tell her about the hardships you've overcome because of her surprise visit. Tell her how much u love her and want he to have a better life, and more choices than you did. Good luck.
2006-07-08 02:39:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
She's right at the point where teens are starting to have sex, so as soon as you two have "the talk" with her the better. Don't be surprised though, she might already know. Also, don't come out and say "don't have sex", because, honestly, she's going to do it no matter what you say when she want's to. Just make sure she is well aware of the consequences of unprotected sex, and not only an unwanted pregnancy, make sure she knows all about STD's. Also, don't tell her she "was a mistake", she might take it the wrong way. Try to tell her that she was unplanned, that might go over a little easier.
2006-07-07 22:46:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bubba. If you and your daughter's mother think it's time to talk to her about sex and unplanned pregnancy, by all means, PLEASE talk to her. Tell her she was a "mistake"? God no! Tell her she was unplanned but never unwanted? Yes.
I don't know what your situation is now: are you dirt poor and living in a trailer? Are you living the middle-class struggle and working a go-no-where-job because and maybe your wife didn't get the education you could have if you weren't teen aged parents? Are you a self-made millionaire but disappointed that your youth was cut short by early parenthood? These are some of the things that you should talk about if any [part] of them is remotely close to your life story. But there is no WAY you should tell your daughter she was a mistake; only unplanned.
After talking to her, be honest with yourselves and make sure you've got her back no matter what happens. Be honest with her and tell her that while any decision she makes about her body is ultimately her's, you pray that she will keep her future open and not do anything that might jeopardize what she might be. As I recently told another young lady, boyfriends and sex are fleeting and come and go but children and most STDs are forever.
Good luck Dad. Be calm. Be cool. Be honest. Be loving. Be caring. Be open. Listen to her as much as you want her to listen to you. Respect is a 2-way street.
2006-07-07 22:49:41 · answer #3 · answered by nu_shashita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very careful about how you tell her anything. I think that being told I was a mistake would really hurt me and make it almost impossible for me to hear anything else I was being told in that conversation.
On the other hand, if you told her that you and her Mom weren't planning on having kids just then, it might go over differently.
I hope you've started talking to her about sex already.
2006-07-07 22:40:19 · answer #4 · answered by bk's mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't ever have to tell her especially since being a mistake is only your opinion or viewpoint of it. If you do eventually tell her then don't tell her that she was a mistake. Tell her that you were careless. But also tell her how you feel about having had her now.
If you want her to be careful and self-aware of her actions then I'd say it's best to very repeatedly and earnestly drive home the thought of how much pregnancy and the responsibility of having a child to care for is going to change her life.
2006-07-07 22:51:48 · answer #5 · answered by Ron Allen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first don't tell her she was a mistake because she was brought into this world by people who love her none in this is a mistake. Now if u want 2 tell her that u and your wife didn't plan her then so be it. Good Luck
2006-07-08 00:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by K.L.C. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her that she was a mistake just give her examples of what can happen and tell her she is the result of unprotected sex. Make sure you tell her about the diseases.
2006-07-07 22:39:11 · answer #7 · answered by Precious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y would u ever want 2 tell her that unless u want her 2 feel bad and hurt and unwanted who cares if she wasnt planned not all kids r planned but u dont c all of them parents telling their kids that they were a mistake how would u like it if ur parents told u that u were a mistake i bet u wouldnt like it if u tell her that who nos she might run away or wont talk 2 u or quit trying n school and is like who cares wat i do i was a mistake i mean who would want their kid 2 b like that cause u told them that was a mistake thats just wrong if i was u i would never tell her that i mean all u should care bout is that she is here and that u love her!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-07 22:53:00 · answer #8 · answered by sweettart1325 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And creep her out and scare her for life!!!! No child needs to hear they were a mistake. Learn how to protect your daughter around boys by educating her, not ripping her heart out!!! Grow up and be a man and get over yourself!
2006-07-07 22:41:50 · answer #9 · answered by Kimmy K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about you word that a little differently. My kids weren't planned, but we call them surprises, not mistakes. She may take it a little better if you don't call her a mistake. And now is perfectly fine to tell her she was a surprise.
2006-07-07 22:38:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋