We have a 6 y/o together and he has a 10 y/o from a previous...both girls. This was our last try and we just found out we're having another girl. He has become so depressed that he has withdrawn himself from the pregnancy. He's reluctant to touch me, help me pick out things for the nursery, or to help choose a name. Anyone have any advice?
2006-07-07 15:02:02 · 22 answers · asked by Jessie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
We were blessed with three girls and a boy; however, it wouldn't have mattered if all four were girls. The most important thing is that they are born healthy and lead good lives. My oldest is 40, and the youngest is 35. I am so proud of every one of them. They are people, and their sex never mattered to me. It shouldn't to your husband either. I just hope he doesn't feel or think that having a boy is proof of his virility! That, of course, is nonsense.
Good luck!!
2006-07-07 15:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by No one 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's hard for men to come to terms with the fact that they won't have someone to do all the "guy" stuff with. But sometimes girls are more fun. Since it's the man who determines the sex of the child, it's really his fault that it isn't a boy, but I wouldn't tell him that.. All you can really do is give him time to come to terms with things. After the baby is born, he will realize that he doesn't care, and if he still cares, then maybe he should think about adoption for the next one.
A few good things about this: you can pick everything and not have to worry if he doesn't like it. You can pick the name and he can't say anything about it. He didn't want to help pick it out, he shouldn't care what you name her.
Good luck!! Girls are the best!!
2006-07-07 22:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by odd duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's that whole guy thing...wanting posterity, someone to carry on the family name. I think all men picture themselves playing ball with their son someday.
But that is no excuse to leave you hanging out high and dry to do this by yourself. That is extrememly selfish of him. Afterall...it is HE that contributed the X chromosome that determined this would be a girl. :o)
You need to get your thoughts together, your witts together, and take a walk with him to a park, or lake. Somewhere private, where you can talk (w/o your 6 yo around). Tell him that you want him to listen to you, and understand your heart. And let him know how alone you feel in this pregnancy. That you feel he has shut you out and keeps you at a distance. But at the same time acknowledge his feelings, and tell him that you understand that he is disappointed that things are not turning out how he had hoped. But it is no ones fault, and certainly not this infant girl. And she needs her daddy to be there for her....now and after she is born. Besides, years to come, he will have 3 wonderful Sons-in-law, and who knows....maybe a dozen grand-sons.
We never know what God will give us, but the honest truth is, it is always what is best.
Good luck, and congrats on your new sweetie-girl on the way.
2006-07-07 22:28:59 · answer #3 · answered by momof2kiddos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How badly does he want a boy? Tell him the up sides to having a girl. He now gets to walk not one but two people down the aisle. If this has only been going on for a few days it'll probably wear out. If it doesn't, I suggest both of you go to a counselor.
2006-07-07 22:06:59 · answer #4 · answered by christigmc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me that you have been through this once before with your first daughter. He got over it. So give him a chance to either grow up or grow appart. You have close friends that will take you and your daughters in no matter what sex you all are. Make him get a vasectomy if he is so depressed on the outcome of procreation.
2006-07-07 22:50:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind him how much he loves his girls and how blessed he is to have two healthy children already. Remind him that he is about to be blessed again by another wonderful child. If he can't appreciate that then maybe he doesn't deserve another child. There is nothing wrong with wanting a boy, but turning away from your daughter because you want a boy is cruel. If it meant that much to have a boy he should have thought about adoption.
2006-07-07 22:09:52 · answer #6 · answered by cwoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Name her George!?
And, after all, isn't the gender all HIS fault? I do understand that many things can cause a man to have female offspring only, like marijuana use, for one!
I cherished each and every child and grandchild I ever was blessed to see, have, and raise, no matter the gender!
Stupid to fret, as if you had ordered a Red Ford, and all they got in were Blue! Just STUPID!!!
2006-07-07 22:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, tell him to grow up ! It's now like Burger King -you can have it your way! He should be thankful he can have a child - period! Some people would give anything to have children- (the ones that can't!) Plus he should consider your feelings - it's not like you had any control over the matter! He sounds very selfish to me!
2006-07-07 22:26:33 · answer #8 · answered by cracker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell him to get with the program & start helping. It's not you're fault that it's a girl. He needs to grow up & realize how lucky he is to have 2 other kids in his life & this brand new one.
2006-07-07 22:54:41 · answer #9 · answered by jamieinreno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really sad to hear, try having a heart to heart talk and let him know how this is making you feel, that kind of stress is not good for you or the baby. Good luck....
2006-07-07 22:09:53 · answer #10 · answered by Poetannyse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋