How do you get into the GLBTQ world when you're so shy?

Question

Ok, I'm bisexual. I don't say it much so it still shocks me a little to say it outloud. I've know for years and I'm sure and have thought about it a lot (prob'ly too much thinking), but that's where the question comes in. How do I get into the GLBTQ world? I'm so shy.

I have a really good girl friend that is bi too but she lives far away right now. My only gay friend freaked out when I told him I was bisexual and we don't talk anymore. There is a too straight for lesbians/gays and too gay for the straight people thing bisexuals have to deal with. That's scary too when trying to get into the world. And I've always done the "don't ask, don't tell" thing. I'm very feminine but with short hair so people never guess I'm bi, they think straight or lesbian I guess. What do you do? I don't want to deny this side of me any longer. I've tried to think of what to do but don't know. I'm a young adult but older then the people that go to GLBTQ youth groups and I can't just go to some bar alone.

Any ideas or personal insights that you want to share would be wonderful to help me out with this... please. I would like to stop thinking so much and do more living life.

Answer 1

If you go to college, or even if you're near one, you might check out the GLBT group. There's USUALLY (sadly, not always) less bi-hostility there. I will say that it's kind of a personal thing as to whether or not the person you're dating needs to know you're bi. Especially right away. A lot of people are all kinds of insecure about that, and frankly I don't get it. There might also be other queer clubs / organizations in your area. They've got ALL kinds of weird stuff now (I've heard of gay bonzai tree groups 0_0). If you're in or near a big-ish city, you should be able to find something that fits your interest.

Truth be told, I'm still a year shy of going to the bars, but...I do find it intimidating to go alone. I guess just try the stuff people tell y ou here, make a friend or two, and let them take you out places to meet more people.

Answer 2

Just wanted to send my best wishes! Hmmm - I don't know what the youth organization scene is like where you are, but d'you think they might need volunteers? I mean, to help out at support centers or camps. Might be a good way to get to know other GLBTQ coordinators in a safe setting.
Well, in any case, good luck!

Answer 3

Its hard in the beginning. Try going online and meeting friends in your area (maybe myspace.com). Also volunteering for local LGBT organizations is a great way to meet people and to help the community. If there is a local center you can go to events there, join groups or just hang out(lots of people do). The people are friendlier, there's no pressure and its not a meat market like the bar scene.
I hope it helps :)

Answer 4

Read "Bi Any Other Name" to know more about the community and bisexuality. I loved it!

Are there any nearby cultural events or theatres you can go to? Bars are always good, if you're of legal age. Otherwise, look in a local gay newspaper to see if there are any youth events or parties.

Answer 5

It was really hard for me-it's STILL hard for me getting into the glbt community, I was in hiding for a long time. The best way is to just be yourself, go with the flow, and not worry or care about what other people think. Just be true to you, it's nobody's business if you're bi or not, as long as your honest with yourself (and in relationships, too!) that's all that matters.

Answer 6

At least you're able to say it I'm not even at point of acceptance, because I love boys but maybe girls a little little tiny bit.

Answer 7

the way i did it was just not care about peoples opinion. if my friends didnt acept me then they were never my real friends. i mean it did hurt me but i had to get over it. my model is " just do it"