Being resonsible isn't all it's cracked up to be!
I do what I can to help others through their worries and frusterations, but when any little concern comes up and it's brought to my door for solution, it does get to be tiresome doesn't it?
Family seems to be the worst offenders in this catagory, ... so how do you fend off those who want you to fix things when they can't or don't want to fix them for themselves?
Friends tend to trust me the same with opinions of how to fix things, and I appreciate the bode of confidence, and again help when I can.. but sometimes they think of me as their answers person, even when I need answers of my own..
how do I to gently say this to others without them thinking I have become a completely uncaring as*?
2006-07-07 13:29:54 · 10 answers · asked by Craptacular Wonderment 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You sound like a very special person with a rare gift. You don't have to fix every problem, you can't, but you might be able to relieve the tension, pain or frustration. Everybody has a purpose in life. Please give your situation more thought. You're special.
2006-07-07 13:43:16 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Dave 3 · 3⤊ 6⤋
It can get a bit much at times when everybody always comes to you for advice,be proud that they trust you enough to come to
you. If they are using you however, you will have to take a step back and give them a friendly but firm "NO' not today, I am busy
etc. You have to learn to say "NO", they first few times you'll splutter and then feel guilty, but it gets actually easier.
And don't feel guilty, you have a life.
Good Luck
2006-07-07 20:36:41 · answer #2 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Yes I get tired of "friends" who are always complaining, who are always in trouble, who are always persecuted.
I have the foolishness of not doing the same, actually it's an art to act like this, an art that I didn't master.
What I do? I pretend that I hear them and think about MY problems.
2006-07-07 20:36:46 · answer #3 · answered by Theta40 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
its a hard position to be in but your duty as a friend or relative is to help if u can and to do it to the best of your ability when ur not in the mood dont open the front door or answer the phone and then if they cant reach u u cant help ,you are human and as humans we can only handle so much
2006-07-07 20:36:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW EXACTLY HOW U FEEL, BUT I DONT THINK THERES A NICE WAY 2 TELL THEM, CAUSE THEY'LL TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY REGARDLESS, I WISH I COULD HELP U, BUT WEN U GET A GOOD ANSWER LET ME KNOW IF IT WORKS. I MEAN THIS IS SOMETHIN I GO THROUGH EVERY DAY, N ITS FRUSTRATING CAUSE WEN U HAVE UR OWN PROBLEMS ITS HARD 2 THIN K STRAIGHT 2 HELP OTHERS WEN U WANT HELP URSELF. I HOPE U GET A GOOD ANSWER, N SERIOUSLY LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES
2006-07-07 21:06:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
OMG YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You are always the problem solver the relationship counsler the parenting guide. The EVERYTHING!! I totally know what youa re saying! But what makes me mad is that no one is there for me when it's my turn!! You should email me and we can talk more
Ã
2006-07-07 20:34:10 · answer #6 · answered by Kristie P 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Instead of trying to resolve their problems for them,ask them questions about what they think they can do to change their situation. It is not your job to fix them.
I could get so analytical and delve more into your question here,but I think it might take you a week to read my last answer.
So,without becoming long-winded,I will just say that you need to be gentle but strong. Be honest and up front with these people who want or expect you to always be there to think and resolve everything that goes wrong in their lives. Help them to realize that they aren't going to ever be able to make decisions on their own if they keep relying on others to resolve their problems. God luck. :)
2006-07-08 01:24:43 · answer #7 · answered by zoya 6 · 1⤊ 6⤋
maybe u should start making up alot of problems n see if they can work them out for u (fake ones ) just for fun, see how they like it. i know how u feel..see i did everything for my neice who was pg til july 4th( baby dient make it she was only 5mths) yet when she came home she went to show everyone who abandoned her pics n dient even call me, n shes pissed but i told her how ungratful she was ,but u know what NO ONE did anything for her but ME so oh well.
2006-07-07 20:35:05 · answer #8 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
i know! and it's like you feel PRESSURED to give some MIRACULOUS advice each time..and quiet frankly..i don't. i just tell them what i think, which half the time isn't that great at all, then i'm left with all these secrets that i'm not allowed to tell. grr.
2006-07-07 20:35:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
yes that's why i say they can fix their own problems once in a while
2006-07-07 20:34:49 · answer #10 · answered by Garubamon 1 · 7⤊ 0⤋