should i tell my 30 year old daughter shes adopted?

Question

my daughter Marie's biological mom is Maria Cartel. maria was only 17 when she gave birth to marie. she wasnt old enough to take on such a responsibility so she gave her off for adoption andmy wife and i adopted her. well, i guess we should of told her. we planned on doing so but time just flew by.... well, her new boyfriend Noel has a son named Austin. i was walking down the street one day, and saw austin and his mom for the first time. i looked @ her and noticed she looked a lot lke marie. i asked noel her name and he said she was Molly CARTEL. i started asking and found out that mollys mom was maria cartel! (who had unfortunetly died 20 yrs ago) small, world, huh? should i tell her ? but would that hurt noel and maries relationship, austin knowing his dad was going out with his aunt???? i no, i no! we should of told her a LONG time ago!

Answer 1

wow, iv had a very similar occasion! yes, u need to tell her bcause if she finds austins mom she might notice something and..who knows? hope luck is on ur side. tell her so she can find her long lost biological family. she wont hate u. itll take her a while but what....she might want to find out about her real mother and try to find her father..and well, u and ur wife should help her and try to get to know the cartels. im sorry about this big mess ur in but ull need to tell her and get ready for the battle. she might be mad for a while but, sooner or later shell lighten up and notice that u r her true loving parents and that uv always been there for her and will always be.

Answer 2

Oh yes you should tell her. My family is full of adoptions. Most have been great and some not so great but your daughter has a right to know. Never mind the past and what should have been. She will resent you even more if you keep her new found sister from her. She may feel betrayed for a while but if you have a strong family she will be okay. Tell her the truth. Tell her there is something you have meant to tell her all along but as time went by it just got harder and harder to know how to tell her. But now with some new information you feel you would be deceiving her if you didn't tell her and at least give her a chance to decide IF she wants to be apart of her sister's life. You do owe her the chance to make this decision for herself. Adoption is a wonderful thing.....God's other plan 'A', but it is sometimes bitter sweet in a situation like this. If she and Noel are meant to be nothing can stop it. Hope this helps. Blessings and I will pray for you.

Answer 3

You're right, it is a small world and chances are she will find out. I'm sure when she does it will be a complete shock and probably traumatizing initially, which is why it is best not to add to that. Imagne if she finds out from someone else and then on top of it finds out that her parents knew all along that she was the aunt of her boyfriend's baby and they didn't tell her?? It's best if it comes from you and your wife, she has a right to know, especially now considering the circumstances. You will always be her parents, but she certainly has a right to know about being adopted and being the aunt of her boyfriends child, especially if their relationship progresses any further. And when she finds out she will need to rely on you for support as someone she can trust-if you don't tell her and she finds out from someone else, how will she feel able to trust you and not feel betrayed??

Answer 4

uno it wud not hurt to explain really and tell her what happen because it would be the right thing that she to know who come from
and to tell her why.I would explain her mom was not bad but just needed help where she was too young to take care of the responsibilty. her self just tell her mom loved her.and hope she will not get upset but to know the turth before she has children. because
children can marrie there cousin if they live in the same place inter marriage happens when one who is related to the other

Answer 5

Whoa. That's twisted. I'd seal up the movie rights before I did anything. That'd make a great Lifetime flick. (Honestly.)

But you gotta tell her. It's going to be wickedly difficult and heartbreaking, but it needs to be done. Line up some psychotherapy afterward to help clean up the mess.

Answer 6

yes i think you should tell your adopted daughter that she was adopted so she will know that her birth mother is out there some where...........i think she has a right to know , i would have told her that when she was 18 that way she is gwown and she can do what ever she wante to do, but i think she does have a right to know her birth mother and the rest of her bielogical family that it still out there.

Answer 7

Oh dear what a predicament.....you have to tell her before she marries him and has children then how much more worse would it be?!?!
You need to bite the bullet and accept she will be extremely angry for a while!! I am real sorry that it has come out this way for you and your wife....Good Luck buddy!!

Answer 8

I think you should have told your daughter ages ago. I think she should know. I don't think that is something you should hide from someone. But after so many years, I think this info will hurt her since you haven't told her and she's 30 years of age.

Answer 9

Wow, dude, that sounds like a soap opera. If you're serious, then, yes, you should tell your daughter. Just be prepared for a huge storm and it probably won't be pretty.

Answer 10

u should defiantly tell her that she is adopted. She Willl forgive u when she thinks about it. U was the one that was there for he when she was sad happy in pain. Everything. She will know that u love her and she wil understand. from my point of view.