Recently I have been finding some letters that he has been writing to her over the coarse of 6 months. These letters say that he loves her and misses her and she is his true love... Problem is she is remarried and gave up their 7 kids. The two of them don't even talk. He says that they are still married through the eyes of God and the catholic church. Has anyone else heard of this and should I tell him I found the letters he left laying around.
2006-07-07 10:03:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
People don't leave letters laying around for no reason, especially ones as private and personal as those. Thus I think he wants you to know and for you to talk about them. (Unless of course you are going through his stuff to find these letters).
Yes Catholics believe that if you have a sacramental and valid marriage that you are still married even if you have a divorce. If he is writing that, I would ask him, point blank, what he thinks he is doing with you? I am not suggesting anything about what you are doing or not doing in your private life, just that you need to make him face the facts that he cannot be married to her and have a girlfriend at the same time. It is really not fair to you that he is stringing you along.
Personally, I would have a really good Priest or Catholic Marriage councilor sit down with the two of you and hash things out and try to resolve issues. He need to decide if you can only be friends or if he wants to see if the marriage can be annuled, both things to be determined by the Catholic understanding. I say Catholic because of the route that he is going and what he is saying. It needs to be taken care of in a Catholic manner or in the future, if you get married, he will return to thinking that he is still married and might try to return to that woman. Be warned, the Catholic manner might determine that he was validly married to her and that he cannot marry you. However that will be better than him trying to return to her while "married" to you.
If you both decide that he wants to see if he can get the first marriage annuled, buy this book
Annulments And The Catholic Church: Straight Answers To Tough Questions (Paperback)
by Edward N. Peters
2006-07-08 19:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by Liet Kynes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should confront him with those letters. It looks like there are some miscommunications going on between you two. He is right about the Catholic Church laws. If he didnt file for annulment to the Catholic Church, they assume that they are still married. Keep an open mind and talk to him.
2006-07-07 17:10:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what else are you going to do ? Make believe the letters dont exist ? How many more years are you going to waste with this guy ? He will probably only stay with you as long as she is married. Once she gives him the green light he will be off and running.
2006-07-07 17:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear,
It's better you tell him that you are aware of the letters.
But take care not to annoy him.
I mean you should tell him this in a way that he should never feel that he was being spied.
try to find out what is in his mind.
If the reason to go back to the Ex. is your behaviour, try to avoid the same.
And first of all before taking any action ask to yourself.
Do you really wish to live with him?
2006-07-07 17:19:31 · answer #4 · answered by RAM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he still like his ex which a lot of people always have feelings for their X's so I guess is OK but once u find out that he is doing things with her that u feel they shouldn't b doing, then u need to let him go or get some counseling
2006-07-07 17:25:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he left the letters laying around he wanted you to find them.
Get out of this twisted relationship NOW!!!
SCARY!!!!!!
2006-07-07 17:08:35 · answer #6 · answered by Meleah J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you I would break up with his *** and tell him that he shouldn't be with you if he doesn't really love you. And haven't you ever wondered why you have been going out for 7 years and he never proposed to you.
2006-07-07 17:07:58 · answer #7 · answered by LUST 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to leave him...if he is hiding it from you and sure why not tell him you found them or whatever.
2006-07-07 17:07:30 · answer #8 · answered by Jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd tell him so he knows how you feel and that he hurt you if he loves you he'll stop writing to her,but if he still loves his wife then you need to leave him.
2006-07-07 17:10:26 · answer #9 · answered by rosy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a web of deceit your boyfriend has going...Run! Save yourself! ( He WILL figure out why you left).
2006-07-07 17:11:49 · answer #10 · answered by Pooks 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋