Because the problems in our breakup have to do with his doing drugs - his not financially helping with our twin baby girls - and money he stole from me - his family has decided to not contact me to see the babies. For two months out of the four and half months of their precious lives his family has not tried to see them. I have had an argument about "precious Michael" with his mother and his paternal grandmother where I did tell them both where to put it as far as defending him- but after two months its time to move on- do you agree. I guess I think my children are blessings and I feel guilty for them not seeing them - even when they choose not to try. I told all of them that I would not keep them from him... but my guess is he has told them not to contact me. He did not like it when we all started comparing notes on his drug habit and ganging up on him - should I try to contact them or should I let them contact me?
2006-07-07 09:45:44 · 16 answers · asked by a1025goodgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
enjoy your children, and accept what you cannot change.they are missing out on two beautiful little miracles and if that is that their choice than they will have to live with that. take care!
2006-07-07 09:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by captures_sunsets 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you are supposed to do as a parent. Even though the two of you aren't together, those are still his kids and his mother's grandkids. Let them be a prt of his family's life as well. If they chose not to see them, then at least you did your part and you will recieve your blessing in the end. If they don't believe he's doing drugs, maybe they will when their money comes up missing after he's been around them. good luck girl!
2006-07-07 16:51:48 · answer #2 · answered by tantalizin1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's hard feelings between you, his mother and his grandmother. They may be afraid to contact you thinking another argument would ensue. Contact them and let them know you want them to see the kids and you and them can agree to not disagree; discussing the kids father should be off limits. Whether or not they decide to see the kids after that is entirely up to them. At least you know you tried.
2006-07-07 17:22:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are exactly right...it's time to move on. Not only does he sound like he has problems, I think the whole family has some significant issues. Too bad for them that they aren't going to get to share in the lives of their grandkids.
BTW, make sure you have all the custody issues addressed. These people sound like they are the type that will come out of the woods one day and try to take the kids away from you.
2006-07-07 16:52:02 · answer #4 · answered by Showoff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's their loss. It's not yours for the fixing! My daughter is now 4 1/2 years old. Her father and I split when she was three months. He lost his job and never paid support. I pushed for about a whole year for him to see her.. and his mom.. I felt bad because I didn;t have a dad and didn't want my daughter to not have one either,, But they never made the effort. It hurt my daughter more than anyone. It was fair to her that they would call once every 5 months, so I changed all my numbers and delt with it on my own. When your children grow up they will only respect and appreciate you more when they realize you did what's best for them. Don't even bother with them at all. I'm now married and my husband is adopting my daughter. She has a father and grandparents who love her very much in her life now. Still hasn't seen her bio dad. And we couldn't be happier!!
2006-07-07 17:41:38 · answer #5 · answered by ready4answers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, get your life straightened out, and make sure your kids have a good foundation to live on. Don't subject them to his addictions and behaviors or his parents abusive talk. If you keep on like this, they will continually make your life a living hell. Just take it day by day, and eventually they wil either leave you alone or make this a positive impact. And you WILL (contrary to popular belief, I'm sure...) be fine without them. One way or the other, your kids come first. Sounds like you are the only one who will keep them safe, so do just that, mom. This isn't tug-o'-war. This is life, and your kids are entitled to happy lives too. Move on, mom.
2006-07-07 16:55:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your better off doing whats best for you and the kids, it just might be a blessing in disguise to not have he or anyone from his family in the picture...only allow contact that will provide a healthy environment for the kids...keep as far away from him until he cleans his act up.
2006-07-07 16:51:58 · answer #7 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about them. No one likes to hear bad things about their offspring, which is why i assume they're acting the way they are. and i also assume that he's told them a totally different story that what you told them and of course they're gonna believe him over you. Do you think he went up to them and said "yeah, I'm a loser thief and lost my family"? heck no!
Your kids are a blessing, give them the best life you can without the drama. You can't force someone to realize how good they have it or how blessed they are, they can only come to that conclusion on their own. Good luck
2006-07-07 16:51:44 · answer #8 · answered by Lucky Starr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd try to contact them again. Tell them that whatever happens, it's important for them to be a part of their grandchildren's lives. They are growing so fast now, you'll hardly recognize them! Let's get together soon... Why not invite them over for lunch, a cookout, or coffe & donuts? Extend that olive branch. Keep it about your beautiful daughters, and not about their father.
2006-07-07 16:55:29 · answer #9 · answered by loshea65 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His family is defending him and have not contacted you to see how those babies are doing? I'd say you're better off without them in your children's lives. I wouldn't contact them.
2006-07-07 16:50:34 · answer #10 · answered by grannyhuh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHA- I'm in the same boat. I say screw 'em. You don't need the drama and the headache. When your kids are grown, if they ask, tell them the truth.
Your kids are a blessing and they're the ones missing out.
2006-07-07 16:53:17 · answer #11 · answered by Shell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋