I never told her how I really felt about her.?

Question

We grew up together and then I moved away. She did the same a few years later and since then, we have both led seperate lives. I never had the courage to tell her how I felt and now she is happy and with someone else. I think about her every minute of every day, but I don't know what else to do. If I tell her now, I will lose what little friendship I have left.

Answer 1

If she is happy with someone else then respect that and stop hankering after an idealised version of her.

If she breaks up with this guy then maybe ask her out for dinner or something (if you really are already good friends then it won't seem like a big deal.)

Meantime get on with your own life, it's too short to waste on regret (as you have already discovered).

Answer 2

You never said if you meant she was married now. That would make a whole lot of difference, as you must not say anything if she is. Then, feeling as you do, you need to stay away and find another person to share your life with, which hard as it may seem at the moment, it is possible. Then one day, you will laugh about all this. On the other hand, if she is only seeing someone, you may ask her out as a friend, providing you respect her feelings, which she will most likely explain. If she appears to be in love with someone else, you may want to wish her the best, and staying away is the best thing. But if she is not serious, ask her out regularly, then take it from there. Best not to overwhelm her with how deeply you feel all of a sudden, esp when she may not feel the same way. It may scare her away. Do not make any moves you may regret. I am sure you do not want to hurt this lady. If it is meant to be, then it will be. Best of luck to you both.

Answer 3

Tell her, but not in a completely desperate way. Don't expect anything from her when you do tell her, and let her know that you don't expect anything from her - that you just need to get it off your chest.

When she knows how you feel, but doesn't want to be with you, you can accept that it's dead, and begin to move on.

Don't worry about losing what friendship you have - it isn't worth much anyway, and if she doesn't know how you feel then it's all on false pretences.


After you've done that, take a few days to relax and accept the new reality that you're not going to be with her, and then begin to move on to new horizons.
Date other women and begin to find new people to form those bonds with. Ones who reciprocate.
If things have been like this for a while then it'll do wonders for your self-confidence, being with women who are attracted to you.


In future, try not to become 'just friends' with women you're attracted to. Certainly not without making sure they know you have a romantic/sexual interest in them.

You don't want to just be 'friends' with them, so why head down that track without giving yourself at least a chance of something more.

Answer 4

just tell her. but don't expect a fairy tale. it will help you if she knows and you will never think of what if's. If she feels the same way and her relationship isn't going good, you will get your girl. But like I said, don't expect a fairy tale. If it doesn't work out, you will feel better moving on and finding someone new and creating new memories with someone all your own. Im married to a great guy now. And we have made so many new memories. It is possible to move on and be happy.

Answer 5

I don't see the harm in telling her.. I wouldn't expect trumpets to start playing and her to give up who she is with for you when she hears how you feel.. I don't think it'll end the friendship but it may make things ackward for her and you as well..

I agree with the ladies in here, you should try to move on.. there are sooooooo many beautiful women out there. It's tough, i know.. been there bought the t-shirt.. wasted 2 years "wooing a girl" for nothing!! My mistake.. but I moved on after the shock of wasted time hit me. You have to find a way to get it out of your mind. A gym is perfect for several reasons.. 1. your mind is on your training 2. there are usually a ton of nice looking girls there 3. you feel great afterward anyways and confidence is very high.

Answer 6

i'm not particular how lengthy you adult men were together. adult men at the instant are not very open emotionally. on the different hand, putting up a sparkling wall may be an illustration that your courting is over. It relies upon on the kind of guy he's. Does he teach he cares for you and about your courting?? Does he do the little issues that count number?? a variety of of fellows who're not open emotionally are conscious of it stresses out their spouse and attempt to make up for it in different techniques. in case you may not figure out his silence, then you definately opt to take a seat him down, and ask him element sparkling the position your courting is going. If there is not any reaction, tell him that your concept of your courting is that its over because of route he's not telling you what's on his ideas. If he continues to be not responding, then you definately have your answer....he changed into merely too fowl to be guy adequate and say it.

Answer 7

MAN I know how you feel Im stuck in the same boat, I liked a girl at collage, this time im coming back to her and have a chance to trully tell her and some how kiss her?

Answer 8

You should tell her how you feel before it is too late. Your friendship should always be there, if you guys were friends in the 1st place. Married couples are usually good friends anyways.

Answer 9

unfortunately you are probably correct - she won't thank you for telling her now. All you can do is be her friend, because wouldn't it be better to have her in your life as a friends than not in your life at all. if you really care about her - be happy for her and you'll find someone you can be happy with.

Answer 10

If it was meant to be then it could still happen but dont tell her now as the time is not right,