My boyfriend has asked me to move in with him out of town, my family refuses to let me take my son with me?

Question

im 29 years old always lived near my family, my boyfriend lives 2 hours away and my family wants to stop me from taking my 13 year old son with me they think it will disrupt his life!

Answer 1

You are the boy's mother. As long as you have custody and full parental rights to your son, they can't stop you from making this decision yourself. Now is actually a great time to move. At the age of 13, your son has one more year before he starts high school. If you move now, that will give him a year to make friends and get to know the kids in his new town. That way, when he goes to start high school, he'll be completely accepted and will have his own circle of friends from the start. He can keep his old friends, too, and visit them during summers and holidays when he sees his grandparents. It's not like he's abandoning the familiar life he knows - he'll be back from time to time when you guys are in town to see the grandparents.

Answer 2

OK First off it's your life.... secondly I'd figure out how long you've known this gent, then OH big shocker, ASK your SON what he thinks, and well I will stop numbering things... Follow your heart, if it all makes sense, therre will be some disruption, but I moved at least 12 times between 9 and 18 and I am not crazy or disrupted,perhaps it is worth having a Dad around, provided the man is fond of your son, And above all, what matters is YOU and making YOU happy, you've missed out on a bunch for your son, and no doubt have HIS best interests at heart... If you' ve known this guy a while, and really are ready for this step then GO, and let your son reap the rewards of a blissfully happy mom :)

Answer 3

Your parents are right. It WILL disrupt his life. He's 13, and has formed close ties with family and friends. The teen years are the MOST crucial years. Don't kid yourself. Your 13-year old knows all about the birds and the bees. And what you are doing is moving, and dragging him along to a man's house that he hasn't formed a bond with. YOU have formed the bond, not your son. You had a child at 16, and still haven't matured yet. My son is 19, I was a single parent for years. When he became a teenager I realize that he was about to have a "dating" life . . . and as a good mother, I decided not to subject my son to mine. I put my social life ON HOLD! He, my son, deserved it. In a short time he was out of the house, at 17 he left for college. Now I'm dating again, and I can move in with ANY man I want. The difference is, I never wanted to place my son in a situation that would harm him. Having "Mommy" move in with a MAN . . . at 13 they know a SLUT when they see one! You want your child to grow to respect and honor you. You need to set your standards a little higher. If that man, who lives 2 hours away, likes and RESPECTS YOU -- AND YOUR SON! -- he'll move close to you! Never put your family ahead of a man. NEVER! You have only once to raise that son of yours. DON'T be selfish! Sacrifice for him, and STAY PUT!!

Answer 4

Talk with your family. There must be some concern about your or your boyfriends stabilty if they do not want you to take your son. Since you will only be 2 hours away maybe you could work out something where your son comes home to visit them on the weekends or where he stays with them and visits you on the weekends. good luck.

Answer 5

Well I guess that depends on how long you've been with this person and whether or not you're sure you're going to be with him for the long run. It wouldn't be fair to introduce someone into your childs life as a fixture like that if you're not sure you'll be together. If your family has been involved in raising your child you should understand their concern and respect their opinion- however- it's ultimately your decision. You should definitely be thinking about your child too and not just your happiness.

Answer 6

If you feel that your boyfriend will treat you and your son well then go ahead. Your family should understand. There's nothing they can do to stop you. Why don't you talk to your son and see how he feels? After all, he has his own opinions and they are important.

Answer 7

that's your son you had him you are his mother only you can decide what's best for him he's under age a minor so whatever you say goes your family they don't have no say so yes they can give their opinion but that's it the final say so is yours what change will he have to make a new school new friends a step dad just like he respects you he has to respect step dad see how he feels include him in on the move you want to make and see how he feels but remember your the parent and that's our child not your family

Answer 8

You are old enough to make your own decisions (and lucky bec its legal for you to move in with your bf *cries* lol). He is not your families son! He is your son, you gave birth to him there for it should be your choice to make! But also, consider the reasons they think this.. like is your BF abusive, or rude to him in any way? If so, then why are you with him? But if he is not, and makes good pay, then I think it would be better for you and your son! especially if you and your BF truly love eachother! Well I hope this helped, and good luck! God bless!

Answer 9

Maybe wait for an engagement before moving in with him. If you two plan on marrying the distance will not harm your relationship. I went through this but we both had children and we waited a few months after our engagement before he and his son moved in with me and my son. I would just be sure this was going to end in marriage first.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to say....but your family has no say-so in what u do. You must live your own life....and right now, your son is still young enough that he's dependent upon you, and therefore can (and will- if you're strong enough to stand up to your family) go with you.