It is a nice town, I just am feeling a little home sick because it is not what I am used to. There are no mountains, no rivers, I cant just get up and go to the outdoors when I want to without paying out the ***. I used to be able to walk to the river anytime I wanted to...now I have nothing but streets and houses. I moved here because I loved him and I wanted him to be happy & he was having a hard time finding a job where we were at and he could come here and work for his mom. Now I find myself falling into a saddness that I am having a hard time tring to shake. I love him dearly but his answer is if I cant take it he will move me back without him, here I stood by him and made this big move for the first time from my home town because he was very sad and he is telling me that I am a fun person someone else will find me...some how I dont see that as standing by me. what are your thoughts on this?
2006-07-07 08:27:49 · 10 answers · asked by Lindy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I recently followed my husband to a small town too. It has been a big adjustment, give yourself some time. I have been here about 6 months and its getting better. A good friend of mine moved around a lot with her military husband. She said she hated every new place for the first 6 months. I have to agree with her! If you love him try to make it work, he obviously sounds like he is where he wants to be. Take my husbands advice, it worked for me.....find something to get involved in. You may have to look hard, but you'll find something you like. It will get better from there.
2006-07-07 08:36:02 · answer #1 · answered by alphme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart,
You just said it yourself - you two had made somewhat of an agreement when you moved there to make HIM happy. Love shouldn't be a one way street and I think you're realizing that.
It was a really sweet gesture on your behalf.
However, I think it's probably time to realize that you made a bit of a mistake and next time you need to think about the other person., but also put yourself in the picture. :)
Some people are happy in this sort of arrangement (I wouldn't be.. and it sounds like u sure aren't) so in his eyes he may think he did nothing wrong.. and that may actually be true. Just don't worry about blaming anybody.. realize you made a mistake and move on if that's what you want to do and he's not giving any other options.
It's okay though. It's better to figure all of this out early on in life.. and not after 10 yrs of marriage and kids and the whole ball of wax.
Wish you the best.
2006-07-07 15:44:30 · answer #2 · answered by game buddee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out and see what the town has to offer. You need to give it a chance before returning. Somethings never work out maybe this is one of them but hey don't go back without giving yourself a chance to be sure. As for him not standing by you that is terrible. he's okay at home with mommy hey?
You need to make some new friends or join some groups please give it a fair chance so you can go home and say you tried.
Goodluck.
2006-07-07 15:31:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. he sure doesn't sound very invested in your relationship. It sounds like he is happy to be back in his home town and he's not too concerned with your feelings. You need to think about what you need to do to be happy. It sound like you are really unhappy and slipping into a depression.
Take care of yourself. if that means moving back home, let him move you back (it's the least that he can do), and I'm sure you will find another person who really cares about you and values you.
2006-07-07 15:32:57 · answer #4 · answered by AreolaDC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this but he doesn't love you. If he did he wouldn't be saying the things he says and he would be trying to help you fit in there. Whose idea what it for you to "follow" him there? Maybe he never really wanted it.
Go back to your home where you are comfortable. If he does love you, he can find you there!
2006-07-07 15:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u really love him you'll talk to him, tell him what u juss told us and if he loves u back u guys would work things out and heres an idea....he could bring u back to town on your days off and bring you to the river someimes u know...but if doesn't give up to this idea, then try another, if he doesnt agree to at least one then he doesnt love and you'll juss have to let him go, i know its hard but its the right thing to do...i also had to let someone go....
2006-07-07 15:36:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not willing to make the same sacrifices you are for the relationship, something may be off and you might want to have a long talk.
2006-07-07 15:30:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question when you said, "I moved here because I loved him..."
You're already speaking in the past tense. Time to go.
2006-07-07 15:31:07 · answer #8 · answered by uhlawpup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes love just isn't enough. Maybe he loves you but knows that is where he wants to make his life. I'm sure he doesn't want to see you unhappy but also doesn't want to be unhappy himself.
2006-07-07 15:30:42 · answer #9 · answered by hipchic_inhiding 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he really love you, he'd ask you to discuss about it openly and you two should try to come up with a win win solution for both parties
2006-07-07 15:32:04 · answer #10 · answered by belle_chocolatiere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋