Married for over 2 years and the son is not mine.?

Question

I posted this a while ago:
"My wife and I have been married for over two years now, we have a 1 year old son. I am a doctor and she is a housewife.

Last night, I came home early only to find her naked in bed, with BOTH of my best friends.

I was completely heart broken, I confronted her later and she said that she had their cumm in her while we were dating (before we even got married). The language she used was worse than what I saw her do, she was completely different.

Today, I am setting up an appointment to see if my son is truly mine.

What should I do?"

I found out that he is not my son.

I need advice on how I can END this relationship with both the son (who now I don't have a problem detaching from) and wife (soon to be ex-).

How did you get a divorce from your wife, it probably wasn't as serious as this but HOW? What is the easiest way?

Answer 1

If paternity is established (not yours via DNA testing) then your lawyer may have you in good shape. You're still going to have to come out of pocket (stupid law, BUT you were the bread winner).

As far as the kid, tough one. You probably love that kid and turning your back on him b/c your wife was stupid is a tough one. If you want to, you can still have a relationship with that child and nothing will be wrong with that.

If you choose not to, it will be really unfortunate, but hey I understand. It will be very difficult if the childs birth father wants to step in (it's never pointed out, but yes he does have a right to) and that amount of stress on you personally is not healthy.

That decision is really up to you and how you learn how to deal with your emotions in dealing with the child. No point of treating him like dirt b/c of what your wife did and my thing is, if you can't do it, then don't.

Answer 2

I am not divorced but when my parents divorced this is how it was done. Go and see a lawyer privately and discuss the process and go over with him a proposed plan for what your wife will get from the marriage property, vehicles, pets, cod's, stock, rental property, Bring your proof of non paternity with you and let him no you wish not to have contact with the child. Your lawyer will advise you from there what to do. Immediately if you have not pack some essentials and move out of the house. Go stay with relatives or close friends preferable not any female friends until your divorce is final. Any phone calls you receive from her tell her you do not want to discuss anything unless your lawyer is present or tape your conversations. The easist way is if you are willing to give your wife whatever you think she may want she will be content to quickly give you a divorce. However under your circumstancces I'm sure you feel that you should not give her anything...Then go to counseling or talk to a close mentor or someone like you church pastor to help you deal with the effects of what this relationship has done to you and what the divorce may do as well. Getting the support of people that care helps to make things easier in the process so take this time to spend time with family as well....and pray. Good luck with everything...my heart goes out to you and I hope one day you will meet a woman who will love you and treat you the way you desreve.

Answer 3

First of all, let me say how sorry I am for all the losses you have recently endured. Getting a divorce is only one step toward getting your sanity back, please also consider getting some counselling as well. I have a suspicion that the loss of your "best" friends will be worse than the loss of your marriage. Sometimes we make poor choices and have to live with the repercussions. Sometimes however we are run over by the poor choices of others. I think you need a few things:
a damn good lawyer, a highly recommended psychologist, a good safe support group, and a visit with people you love and trust. Good luck.

Answer 4

I can understand how you feel. In my case I was married 23 yrs.
and then one night she went to work and did not come home. Three days later I get served with a order of protection and told I have 15 min. to get a few things and get out. I still had 2 minor children at home. We had to leave a home that I built and the only home the kids ever had. I found out she had been with others during our married life. I checked and the kids are mine.
I waited 5 years before I got the divorce. I should have done it sooner. Get the Divorce, my friend. To prolong it could only make things harder for you. Get a lawyer and charge her with adultery. You get the grounds on her. You have proof that the kid is not yours. Okay.

Answer 5

I'm sorry that the son you thought was yours, isn't. I hope this doesn't cause him trauma. Please continue to be there for him; what his mother did isn't his fault and remember that you are the only father he has ever known.
As for the wife, tell her to move out; if she won't then you need to. See a good lawyer before you do anything. good luck. The good news is that once divorced you can completely detach yourself from her since you have no children together. This woman is trash and you deserve better. Is she on drugs?

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear about your situation...women like her give females a bad rap. I hope this doesn't taint your view of love. You being a doctor, I'm sure I don't have to tell you the importance of a good support group. Get a damned good lawyer a make sure she gets nothing. I'd even lay a guilt trip on the two supposedly best friends she cheated with and have them either write up statements confirming her adultery or subpoena them into court, that way you can have it written up in the divorce decree that she isn't entitled to anything...investments, retirement, alimony...NOTHING!! Good luck!

Answer 7

Im sorry about that. But, did you get a dna done to see if that was your child? And, You need to talk to a lawyer about getting a divorse. You don't desrve her. That is wrong of her to sleep with any one. Other than you. And, also If that was me i would move out or better yet have her move out. And, for the child. You do love that child as your son right? Well, I still would take responsibity for that child. I hope this helps. Im not realy good at situations like this. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

Divorce depends on the state you live in. Contact a local lawyer or state dept for the regulations.

Wow, though.

I'm surprised that you had so little emotional attachment to your son to start with, considering you thought he was yours originally.

What gives with that?

Answer 9

That's pretty sad that she's a ***** and hore, but the child is innocent don't put any blame on him for the actions of his mother and if that you have rainse him as your child you have given him scerity be there for him you might be the only good thing he'll ever know

Answer 10

There really is no easy way. I would talk to a lawyer and maybe consider counseling to help you get through this tough time. Good Luck!! time heals all wounds.