I have been under a ton of stress lately (my mother is dying of cancer) and have a new boyfriend. I am not sure what I can do differently. Please help.
2006-07-07 08:00:59 · 43 answers · asked by moniscandal 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Take the night off. Turn the phones off. A quiet relaxing dinner with wine. Enjoy a long walk hand in hand. Then if the issue of sex comes up try it. Your forcing to try to have an orgasm now because you cant. Clear your mind and it will come.
A long hot bath together is nice too!
I will keep your mom in my prayers.
2006-07-07 08:03:32 · answer #1 · answered by Genivieve G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a guy with a girlfriend who has this kind of problem all the time, first thing to do is don't think about it while you're doing it. Worst thing ever to be thinking about not being able to have an orgasm. Don't stress over it. Once that part is over, get relaxed. If you like foreplay, he's gonna have to do some if he wants you to get to paradise. Foreplay is most important because you girls need it. You have to get high on your hormones before you can get "there". Before, i would go right at it with my girlfriend and it would rarely work. Now, we caress ourselves 10-20 mins without rushing anything and after a while everything sits in place and the fun reaches it's peak. Patience is important for both of you.
2006-07-07 08:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stress is definitely adding to the problem. If you're stressed out or depressed it takes a toll on your entire body...even without you noticing. And a new partner isn't helping out either. It takes me a good few months to orgasm with a new partner. He has to learn your body (your hot spots) and you have to adapt to a new touch. No two guys are alike. For a quick fix, I'd suggest have a drink or two before messing around. It will help loosen you up. For long term, talk to him about what you like, don't like, and what you want him to try. It's super hard to do if you're shy! And up the foreplay. Sex is always much better for me if I have a orgasm during foreplay. Hope this helps! Let me know if you want me to explain anything more!
2006-07-07 08:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the stress has alot to do with it. Try to relax and not think about having an orgasm. I have noticed through my own experience that if I think about it it usually doesn't happen. Just go with the flow if it happens then great if not better luck next time...
You can always try being on top that works great for a woman to have an orgasm. I know it sucks but unfortunatley this is what us women have to deal with.
Good luck!
2006-07-07 08:05:26 · answer #4 · answered by Jules 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be hard during this time. I'm wondering if your new boyfriend is giving you the emotional support you need right now, or is that too heavy for him since the relationship is new? You may need to plan a day/night where you get totally relaxed (workout, massage, nap, a nice long bath, a glass of wine) and then ease into intercourse with him. Jumping into intercourse with current circumstances as they are may simply not work right now...
2006-07-07 08:06:36 · answer #5 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard enough for women to acheive orgasm thourgh intercourse without added stress. Maybe you are trying to hard. Relax..Stop thinking of sex as an orgasm contest. You may need more clitoral stimulation, or different positons. Maybe you need to take more time with foreplay, or maybe you just need to take a break and focus more on your outside stresses. The more you worry about getting an orgasm the less likely you are to actually get one.
2006-07-07 08:04:34 · answer #6 · answered by All I Hear Is Blah Blah Blah... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your bo stimulate your clit with his index & forefinger in a vibrating fashion, also expert tongue action hitting the clit on the top, bottom & licking in a 360 degree motion then back the other way, good sucking actions will also help, a few good tugs at the anus will add extra stimulation
2006-07-07 08:09:52 · answer #7 · answered by henry a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to relax. If you are not relaxed, you can't climax. Try deep breathing to get your mind off of all of your stress lately. Otherwise, it won't happen until all the stress passes. And, I am sorry to hear about your mother. My condolences to you and your family and I wish you the best of luck.
2006-07-07 08:03:40 · answer #8 · answered by Wookie on Water 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try different positions. Maybe because of the stress, you are not getting into it as much as you should. Maybe you could have a drink or too before getting busy.
2006-07-07 08:03:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try a lot of forplay. It takes awhile stress doesn't help im always under stress.
I am sorry about your mother best wishes
2006-07-07 08:07:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋