why is it that women keep living with men instead of getting married?

Question

I know a lot of women who have chosen to live with a man but not get married. They secretly pine away, waiting for that special moment that usually never comes. They'll live with him like they were married and even buy houses and stuff like that but refuse to make the commitment. Why do women settle?

If you are having children and not having a commitment is totally selfish. I have had a serious relationship, yes, and i did live with my husband for 3 months before we got married. Getting married is not expensive - If you are committed to each other, go to the justice of the peace. Its cheap.

alot of you women can keep fooling yourselves. you may not dream to get married but you're living the lifestyle. Its not just a peice of paper, its a written comment to your husband and the world saying i love this man so much that i am truly devoting myself to him forever. if you're worried about divorce go hide in a box and be celebate.

Answer 1

Many women fail to understand that old adage"Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?"According to the National Marriage Report at Rutgers University,the number one reason men don't commit is that they know they can get sex without marriage.If women went into a relationship knowing that pre-marital sex and living together don't necessarily lead to marriage,there would be less cohabitation and fewer disappointed women.Many women are being taken advantage of because they fail to be clear about what they expect in a relationship;a woman has to declare her position and let the man meet her if he wants.If he doesn't ,he's not the man for you.Declaring your expectations and position in a relationship isn't making an ultimatum;it actually mean that you've come to a point where you are going to do_____. And then you do____.The goal is to have a relationship that is good for both parties,where both people feel safe;both feel their needs are being met,both feel that compromises made are worth it because of what has been gained in return.

Answer 2

As a woman who lives with a man I can only speak for myself, I have wanted to get married since I was a little girl. At 30 I was feeling desperate because all my girlfriends had gotten married and I was still single so I waited & prayed about it. Now at 38 I am fine with NOT being married and in a very good relationship. We have a house & a son and things are good. There is a very small part of me that wishes we would have gotten married but there is still time.
I look at Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell and they have been together for 25+ yrs and doing great.
I don't feel like I have settled just that this IS my life and I a great guy who loves me, a beautiful son, a nice home and I look forward to the future.
But of course there are those women who settle and give up on their dreams and maybe it's because some of them have low self esteem, or some might just really love their man and accept that he does not want to get married or not ready to be married. I dont' think it has anything to do with not wanting to committ because as you said they buy houses & stuff, and if they did not want to committ I doubt they would buy any big ticket items with some one night stand...

Answer 3

I have no idea.

I think that if all women put their feet down and said: "No, I won't move in with you until you put a ring on my finger." then men would improve. The problem is, so many women (myself included) thought nothing of cohabitation especially since it's now EXPECTED that we will live with a guy first. I lived with my husband for 6 years before getting the ring. It made me angry for a long time that he was ready to live with me but not ready to marry me. I was embarrassed to say: "My boyfriend" as opposed to "My husband."

I wouldn't recommend cohabitation before marriage, but it's going to be harder to find a man. I suppose it's a good way to weed out the jerks!

I got lucky! Mine did marry me. I know some women who eventually left the men because they weren't willing to get married. I even know some who got pregnant and the man STILL wouldn't marry them!

Why do women settle? Who knows. I settled because I didn't know I was settling at the time. I was just an 18 year old kid.


BTW-My wedding was NOT expensive. It was cheap! Actually, weddings are profitable. We made about 2 grand when we got married just in cash! :-D That doesn't count the gifts, tax breaks, deals on insurance, etc we now enjoy.

Answer 4

I know of couples that had lived toether for years.,,. Then when they finally decided to get married it ends within a few years. Being more independent is why most women do. They can do more things and not really be tied down, They feel more free. But make sure if you invest together in a house your name is on the foams etc also. Especially it better to have your own cking account if you work.. Alway have money put aside in case something happens to a relationship. But most people that do stay married . Good for him or her to know you can take care of your self if needed. Pem

Answer 5

It's the man who is refusing to make the committment and the woman is denying her personal feelings and needs by not pressing the issue. Women settle because they believe they have to give up something to achieve something else, like they must have to forego marriage to have the "love" of their life. They also believe they can never achieve any better than what they have. Some are just afraid of being alone. Others simply have no place else to go. Some just don't believe in the idea of marriage. Others aren't sure they want to be legally tied to some man. Many just haven't found their reason, or courage, to leave.

In the end, it is generally because we feel that we have to have another person in our lives to experience love. Without attachment to another person, are we whole? Of course we are, but we haven't been programmed that way. People settle because they lose sight of their dreams, lose hope in achieving them, or lose confidence in themselves. They have forgotten the path to happiness. In many cases, a big, bright, glaring sign pointing straight to a better idea would have to magically appear in their lives for them to go anywhere else.

Answer 6

It's not necessarily settling. Some people just like it that way. I have been living with my boyfriend since day 1. I wanted to test the waters before that ultimate commitment. Most women think ONLY of the day they get married instead of taking the steps necessary to find the right one. We get along, and we know we get along now, so we just got engaged. I'm happy...he's happy... no one settled...no one is "pining" away!

Answer 7

I have lived with my fiance for 6 years and really getting married at this point is not that important to me. We have kids together, bought a house together, every aspect of our life is that of a married couple. I even introduce him as my husband, and he introduces me as his wife. We don't see why we need the piece of paper saying we are married. It is not going to change how we live or how we feel about each other. It's not settling. we are married in our hearts and that is truly the only place that it is important.

Answer 8

These chics live a fantasy. They believe a lie that says that if they claim their man now and show him how good they are, that he will eventually marry them. Besides, this is supposed to be the "liberated" woman's way of doing things.
The lesbians who head these women's groups lie and belittle the role of a woman in society. They teach that babies are a "choice" and not humans, and that they have a "right" to the good things in life. The truth is that a good period of asexual courtship and family input is what really works. That is the old fashioned way and the Godly way. People nowadays want to have illegal sex and play house, but it has backfired and it will continue to do so. What can I say. They deserve it. You play, you pay.
Mr. M on living with men.

Answer 9

I live with my boyfriend because weddings are expensive. We're both poor college students, a wedding just isn't a very smart idea right now. Having food on the table is more important that having a ring on my finger. When we're financially stable enough to get married, we'll do it. What's wrong with waiting until a wedding is an affordable option?

Answer 10

I know what you mean! But I think that after they're already living together buying a house, having kids and such. Then they decide to get married it's like, what's the point you're already doing the whole married thing anyway. Some people are just stupid.