this sounds like something a teenager would ask,but we are in our 30s and have been together for 6 years with 1 child.We usually do everything together,but if,god forbid,I want to do anything with the girls it becomes a major issue.Ive never given him any reason to not trust me and Im feeling trapped,now like a prisoner,or a teenager asking her dad for permission.
2006-07-07 07:28:57 · 23 answers · asked by meg-treehugger 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
The length of time you have been commited and the child you share complicates things a bit. But these things aside, you feel a certain way and need to communicate this. Explain to him the way you feel and let him know that it is not acceptable to you. You should not feel like a prisoner in your relationship - that's not healthy, and doesn't do service to any actual feelings you may have for one another. If he doesn't understand this, then you have a real dilemma on your hands.
In my experience, you have to be willing to walk away from someone to find out how much you are really worth to them. You have to decide whether this feeling you have is a "dealbreaker" or not. If it is, politely offer an ultimatum that if things don't change you won't be able to remain in the relationship. If it is not a dealbreaker, the most you can do is lobby and hope for change, but understand that you are accepting his jealousy as part of your relationship. And that is a choice. Your choice.
2006-07-07 07:39:55 · answer #1 · answered by www.ayntk.blogspot.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you would have to ask yourself if that is the type of person that you want your child to marry (or become, depending on gender). Also, do you want to bring more children into this kind of environment? To feel like a prisoner doesn't sound like a good place to be in any situation, much less a relationship where love, patience and kindness are supposed to run rampant. I would say that you guys need to seek good, sound counseling. Both individual and together. There are issues there that really need to be analyzed by a third party. He also will probably be more receptive to that. Sounds as if he could retaliate if you were to say anything in the negative about him. Good luck.
2006-07-07 14:36:39 · answer #2 · answered by ricekid2001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 6 years like this, you are still with him????
Wow! I have been in relationships where my girlfriend imagined some reason not to trust me and then treated me as such. I got the hell out! Trust is the cornerstone of a good relationship. he sounds really controlling and insecure. You should try telling him, "You either have to trust me, or we can't be together."
2006-07-07 14:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like time for a counselor. I hate to bear bad news, but usually when someone is that insanely "jealous" it's because of a guilty conscience assuming that everyone does the same thing when away from the partner.
2006-07-07 14:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by PuterPrsn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a choice you are going to have to make if he cant accept the fact that you need your space. If they are true friends then I would not suggest dropping them like a bad habit. If he really loves and respects you, talk to him and try to work it out. If he still doesn't want you too then it doesn't sound like you need to be with him. If he is that bad with you, how do you think he is going to be with your child?
Men have a tendency to be controlling but some men with a little bit of *threatening to leave* cool down with it. Go with what your heart says do.
2006-07-07 14:36:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is easy ,i know what's going on ,well first thing is how ur husband thinks ,i think that he is little disturbed,it mite be becoz of a past situation ,but dont ask him that now.what u need to do is ,tell him that u need to trust in me a little & my frends are not that bad.tell him that how ur friends have helped u in dificult situations ,and they helped,or try this
tell him that u need to talk to some beside him to easy my troubled mind ,
well talking is up 2 u ,any way i don't really know well so be carefull about what u say. any way being wife means being pashient
2006-07-07 14:50:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is controlling and possessive. That is not a sign of a healthy relationship. sit down and have a talk with him and reassure him that you love him and that you just want to go out and hang with some of your friends. Tell him that no one can take his place, and that he means the world to you. give him a kiss and say I will be back at 2am or whatever.
2006-07-07 14:34:58 · answer #7 · answered by bella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you say you do everything together, hes used to you being all his! If he has any friends he likes to hang with, when he goes out with them, hang out with your friends, also have you ever tried having him hang out with you? Most men do not like to hang out with the girls and will willingly drift away on their own when put in a group of gals haven fun. Any time you do go out seem overjoyed when you get home to see him, this will reassure him he is the one you love and ultimatly want to be with.
2006-07-07 14:39:16 · answer #8 · answered by with bun in oven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should sit down and tell him it is important to you that you go out with your friends. He probably does trust you he might be just jealous and acting like he doesn't trust you.
2006-07-07 14:32:44 · answer #9 · answered by Sentient6 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He must trust you. I used to be just like him until I thought about what I was doing. He has to give you space to have with your friends. If he can do this then you are going to have to tell him thats the way it has to be or you are going to leave.
2006-07-07 14:32:11 · answer #10 · answered by bigdog_0032 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋