My wife just cheated on me.?

Question

My wife and I have been married for over two years now, we have a 1 year old son. I am a doctor and she is a housewife.

Last night, I came home early only to find her naked in bed, with BOTH of my best friends.

I was completely heart broken, I confronted her later and she said that she had their cumm in her while we were dating (before we even got married). The language she used was worse than what I saw her do, she was completely different.

Today, I am setting up an appointment to see if my son is truly mine.

What should I do?

Thanks for the replies.
In about 15-20 minutes I should find out if he really is my son.
I had the question ready, I am glad I posted it.

He is not my son.

Answer 1

Wow,The only thing I can say is"Leave her and better yourself"

Answer 2

Wow! I bet you were a little stunned. Sorry to hear that things turned out this way for you. Yes, finding out whether the little guy is yours or not is a good step. Umm, do you still want to give your marriage a shot? Because honestly I'd tell you no. She's not worth it. You deserve better treatment than that. If she wanted someone else why didn't she just ask for a divorce instead of going behind your back. If your son is truly yours, divorce her, gain full custody of him and move as far away as you can from her. That kind of behavior alone is a bad influence for a young child. She's not the person you thought she was. God knows how long she's been deceiving you. Get out and take the child. Make a better life for both of you (if he's yours that is).

Answer 3

Charles, I'm really sorry for what you're going through.

Little surprises me in this world nowadays, but this still rather takes my breath away.

I don't see what options are really left to you. Your wife has openly admitted she did not respect your relationship before marriage, nor has she respected it after marriage. She has just used you, from what I can tell.

Give her a final shot to say "yea" or "nay." If she says "yea," then you have an awful lot of work ahead of you to find some help for you both. Perhaps there were earlier issues, or issues now with your being out on call (if that's true), that might help if they were resolved. Maybe she r3eally does want to repent but felt trapped before, I dunno. (Slim, but possible.)

But if she still maintains an attitude of self-justification and sees nothing wrong with her behavior, or continues to avoid blame for her role in this, I think divorce is the best choice in the long run.

As far as your son: Yeah, that's stunning. Man. (sigh.)

All I can say is that you have loved him like a son until now, and you would have lived and died believing in him as your son if you had not found out. That's not living a lie. That boy is truly your son, bound by heart and soul even if the blood doesn't match. If you're having doubts on what to do regarding him, and have any legal say in the matter, stick to him like superglue.

He needs at least one stable parent who loves him.

Don't let what your wife has done destroy whatever good things you might have built with your son.

Answer 4

For one, if you call her a housewife, you've probably been treating her like a housewife...and that's already not good. Secondly, you don't really have the eloquence that one might expect from a physician...so, I doubt this is a serious question. And last but not least, if this is a serious question, you need to be very careful, because if you have no prenup the snake that you married will get the child (which is probably not yours anyways), and possibly half of any assets that you have. I would probably just stay in the marriage and make her be the one to divorce you...she won't get as much out of it then.

Answer 5

Sassy Says...
Ok well I think you answered your own question. My thing is that If you know she is a whor* than you need to do the foot work and tell her to kick rocks! FILE FOR DIVORCE! Shes a skank! I am sorry but I thonk any woman who is having sex with two of any thing at the same time, friends or not is dirty! Thats even worse that they are your friends! Kick them to next week as well, you do not desrve that !!! Let God judge them, just keep your side of the street clean and that is all that you have to worry about! I would definatly get a paternity test and also get a STD test going too because it is probible that this is not the first time! I think you plan of action should be that you get 2 nurses from your work and BANG BANG baby!All right?

Answer 6

Holy Moly! Sounds like she is a sadistic and manipulative person to have no remorse for something like that...only to throw more hurt in your face. Cut and run!

I definitely would persue paternity testing. If you head towards divorce (I definitely would), then you can save yourself a lot of child support if he is not your son. Also...if she is running around, get checked out for all the diseases you can. As a Dr., you probably were already thinking of that.

My biggest piece of advice, whether you divorce, seek therapy, stay together, forgive, or whatever, is to DOCUMENT everything. Document your conversations with her, her admissions, her drinking habits, her behavior towards the child, her housekeeping skills, her mothering skills, how many nights a week she cooks, etc. Everything. Create a "wife" journal and mail it to your parents' house once a week. Do not open it. This provides date documentation if you ever need to verify her behavior and dates of occurance in a court. If you do this, and if your child is yours, and if you divorce and want custody, then this is an excellent character slam against her "fitness" to be a good mother.

I did this with my ex and it helped me to keep all the facts straight and it also helped my judge to see that he was a drinking, women-using, liar. I now have full custody of my two kids.

Good luck...and stay OUT of her bed!

Answer 7

You are an idiot! Im very surpised that only now your wife choose to use this language. She must have had a rep before you met her. With all the technology and tool available nowadays you figure you would do some research. Get a hobby, kick her out of the house, I hope you had her sign a prenup. That young kid isnt yours- thats her baggage. If you are feeling guilty or cant sleep go to sharper image and get one of those electronics that emit waves and other soothing sounds.

Answer 8

wow..I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it come out that your son really is yours. As for your wife...I would get a divorce because shes obviously been cheating on you since before you've been married and she isn't worth staying with. Get out and get on with your life. Meet other people when your ready and find someone who you can love and trust. She doesn't care about how this makes you feel. Let her have your so called friends and have all the fun she wants.

Answer 9

Sorry about your wife being unfaithful to you. I think you know what to do now though. As far as the son goes, if he really has a good relationship with you don't walk out on him, at least still see him once in a while. Try to at least, too many kids growing up without a male influence in their life. It doesn't matter if he's not yours, you were the father he's known. Good Luck!

Answer 10

Is this posting real? This story is so outrageous.

Ok. I will bite.

Obviously your friends are not your friends and your wife should not be your wife for much longer.

As for your son, even if the paternity test is returned negative. You will be required to pay child support, assuming you do not take custody.

I know you are devastated but your child will need your attention now. Get custody and remove your son from that environment.

Answer 11

DNA is a smart thing , but be per-paired for the answer, the next smart thing to do is get a lawyer before you loose everything , she doesn't deserve you . i can see forgiving but not if shes speaking to you that way...she doesn't care why should you .. the kids yours no matter what DNA says , you was married at the time she conceived...hope he doesn't see whats going on behind ur back , good luck and I'm really sorry this happened to you ...