BUT he continues to tell me that he wants use to workout because I know everything about him and he says that he loves me the crazy things is he continues to tell me that she gives him more TLC then I do and she's there for him when he needs her. Another crazy thing about this is she's going through a divorce and also has 2 children. What the heck should I do? go on or give this marriage another try??
2006-07-07 06:50:20 · 10 answers · asked by angelface_22_fl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, to answer your ending question (“Should I give it another try?”), I would say: Do you want to try, and is your husband willing to commit to trying? If one of you says no, no explanation really matters anymore.
If I had to decipher what went on here based on the information you provided, here are my thoughts:
* Sounds like your sister-in-law was almost telling you to leave your husband. “You deserve more than a happy day once in a while.” This is pretty heavy – your husband would take it as a betrayal by his sister. She’s really pregnant and probably stressed. She stuck her neck out and got caught. It was safer for her to lie to him and her parents and save face… leaving you to take the blame.
* Your husband found someone to move in with so quickly… and not just a single woman, but one with two kids and who is currently divorcing? This didn’t happen out of the blue. There is some sort of “past” here where your husband was either cheating on you or dabbling in cheating and now found a good excuse to go somewhere else to have his desires met.
* He doesn’t like your restrictions on his money spending. And since you two were not getting along, I doubt he was getting much sex or having his ego stroked. He had a choice between a woman who would make him feel good versus a wife who rightly expected him to be a man and take on the responsibility of being married… and he wimped out.
I don’t know why he’s vacillating right now. Perhaps he’s honestly confused – he misses you, but felt like you betrayed him first so he took off. Or he’s just trying to minimize how bad he looks in all of this.
If he’s serious in working things out, he should come home immediately. You guys need to have some time along to just be with each other and feel like you are both focused on each other for once. (i.e., enjoying each other’s company).
Eventually, you two need to have some very serious discussion of what happened here, your finances, and so forth – the stress points — so that you both understand each other’s viewpoints and feelings. A third-party such as a counselor could be very useful here. There has been no real two-way communication on the issues causing the problem.
But first, he needs to commit to your marriage by dropping this other relationship and coming straight home. If he’s not willing to show he’s going to put in the effort, if he tries to sit on the fence and make you show some sign of faith first, then he really doesnt have the motivation necessary to fix things.
2006-07-07 07:25:50 · answer #1 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you need to drop this guy like a hot potato and kick him to the curb.
He sounds like a control freak who loves to watch you squirm when he mention's this woman. He's mentally abusing you and you definitely don't need that.
Stand your ground and YOU tell HIM it's over. Pack your stuff and go stay with a friend or relative until you can get a good attorney and have this marriage dissolved. Don't let him have the satisfaction of knowing that this upsets you. Men like him, when they see that they aren't getting a woman to react emotionally to their stupid actions often try to woo them back. If he does tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine and move on with your life.
You're better off without him, believe me, I was married to one of those kind too.
good luck!
2006-07-07 07:23:31 · answer #2 · answered by Fiona70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to share, sounds like he a great guy. Don’t let this one get away.
2006-07-07 06:58:31 · answer #3 · answered by Kenneth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would move on and let her have him. Find someone who can be totally honest with you. You deserve better.
2006-07-07 06:58:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let that be his problem not yours. Sounds like his caought in the web that he wove.
2006-07-07 07:08:20 · answer #5 · answered by Keke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to and if you still lve him and want to be with him again, and tell him want you what him to do for you like no drinking.
2006-07-07 06:57:15 · answer #6 · answered by Jocelyn_Mayra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on.
2006-07-07 07:06:26 · answer #7 · answered by ndmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OVER
2006-07-07 06:53:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOVE ON!
2006-07-07 06:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by dangerousdreamz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go on!
2006-07-07 06:53:41 · answer #10 · answered by sweetie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋