What do you think about a man who does dags with his two young children in the back of the car?

Question

My ex-husband (well soon to be...we are going through a divorce) visits the kids and looks after them for one weekend a month. I have difficulty trusting him already. Then today my 4 year old revealed to me that daddy had been doing skids on the roundabout when he broke the lights on his (actually a hire car) car. I am really angry and don'ty know what to do. My 4 year old and 3 year old were in the car.

Sorry to those in the US...I am from the UK. Dags means messing around when driving the car.
I'm not sure what powers I have to do anything in the UK if anyone knows. Thanks.

For Lofty. Unfortunately it's almost definitely true. Of course I will get his side of the story....but he's hardly likely to own up to it now is he? And many a time he has put me through being shaken around in the car while he was showing off.And 4 year olds don't lie about that sort of thing. Why should he lie about it?

Answer 1

Listen to yourself ' A four year old told you'?? Quite frankly most four year olds would not know the difference between a reckless act and a genuine accident.

So was he showing off? - showing what he could do in the hire car, did you both ensure that the children were adequately restrained in the car in proper car seats and belts?

Have you asked him what happened? they are his children too you know.

Supposing the skid was caused by an oil spill and your soon to be ex did well to control the vehicle with only minor damage - that he would have to pay for.

How would your four year old know the difference ?

Except that is was great fun probably.


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Edit 1 for Princess.


For your information I have two children one of 22 and the other just coming up to 19.

Both stayed with me after I gave my ex-wife the boot ten years ago.

I can remember on many a car journey when the kids were young they were so interested in doing their little puzzles that they didn't really have any idea about what was happening outside the car, and certainly would have missed any action building up to the event.

Answer 2

What are you talking about ... what is dags and what is skids ... ?

Ok thanks for the clarification ....

Now .. he's only 4 and I'm sure your soon to be Ex wouldn't put his own children in harms way ... no parent would ever want to see their kids hurt .. I'm sure he was just playing around.

I take my daughter out in my truck and we go 4 wheelin' all the time ... as long as they're in a car seat and not going anywhere I don't see what the big deal is having a little bit of fun.

If you don't trust him with your kids ask for supervised visitation ... ( not sure if they have that in the UK )

Answer 3

I would just ask to have supervised visit.. Like he take them around your place like a park or something for a couple hours a few time a month and u check the way he act etc.. And then you decide.. I would alos tell him that if he does anythign else this sort well he's not ahving the kids for a while.. If he really loves his kid he will calm down and grow up.. I'm in a situation like that my husband got kids with other girl and i know how it can be.. She suffer from epilesie and used to not take her mmedication wichi can lead to very dangerous situations so we told her and then her mom (who hates my husband) told her alos cause she new that is she didn't took them we were taking the kids away from her.. Anyway good luck mate!

Answer 4

Go to a solicitor and tell them you feel the children are at risk,
there are contact centres in the uk where the childern can visit the other parent under supervision I know this because I have done it myself. He needs to grow up and act like a father maybe he will think twice about doing it again. He will of course deny it but dont give up.

Answer 5

I hear that if it's hot enough (strong direct sun) and you spray lighter fluid on the bonnet of the car, it will burst into flames.

I'm pretty sure this would stop him putting the lives of your kids in danger like some sort of over-aged boy racer wannabe.

other options might be:
Slashing his tyres
Bricking his windows
Tying him to the back bumper and taking him far a few spins around the block (*** dragging on the tar)

* I know you can't actually do these things - but it sure makes you feel good thinking about it eh.



JJ

Answer 6

before you do anything make sure you know all the facts, little kiddies don't always get it right. I take it that you mean he skidded whilst he was driving the car going around the roundabout. I hope everything works out o.k. and don't let your anger get the better of you

Answer 7

hi just want to write that lofty!! does not have children. i have a 4 year old and he knows what a skid is!. to be honest ive been through the courts and they told me its not the past that counts its the future which i think was rubbish. go to your solicitor and they can put it on file. xxxx keep smilinmg

Answer 8

The guy is absolute scum anyone that would put a child or children in danger like that should be stripped of his licence then stripped and publicly whipped if i were you i would report him to the proper people now and get in touch with a lawyer because he would not be taking my kids again without someone official with him and even then i would still be worried absolute scum.

Answer 9

I don't know where you are from but in my state I would go to child services, social services and complain about it and even check on family court to see if you can stop him from taking the kids. That's all I can help you with right now. I hope it helps.

Answer 10

Oh you got trouble ...Take him to court and stop the unsepervise visitation and start doing supervise visitation..Tell the court that what he is doing and you don`t trust him with your children and you do not feel your children are not safe with him...Don`t let him have them on the next visitation til u get to court...