well me and my b.f are going to have 3years together on july the 26 and he want's to make love, but i'm not sure because what if we break up, he'll just add me to his i fu.. list while i'll be marked with his touch and i just don't want to be judged badly.and we only see each other during the summer, please don't make fun of me just answer my question.
2006-07-07 06:43:07 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
if he's got one of those lists, then DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM.
if he EVER talks about other girls that he's slept with to you or his buds, DONT SLEEP WITH HIM, cause he'll do it to you too.
summer loves don't tend to last, and neither to high school loves, how many ppl do you know that are married that were high school sweethearts? there are some, but not many.
Don't waste (what i'm sure is) your first time on someone your not sure about. you have forever to be a grown up, but only one chance to make this memory. it should be one you treasure, and even if you break up with him later (which you probably will) you need to know that you'll have good memories.
for instance, i had two poses in my senior pictures taken with my boyfriend AND put into my portfolio. Mom was worried and asked me if we broke up how would i feel about wasting two poses with him and seeing it everytime i opened my portfolio. at the time i was able to answer her, that we had dated since junior high, and he, as much as anything else was reflective of my highschool years, so to remember high school was to remember him. and i told her that we weren't going to break up, but even if we did, i knew he wouldn't do something to hurt me (like cheat or hit me), so it would be okay.
its nearly 10 years later, and the only thing i was wrong about was the not breaking up part. we did break up, we grew apart. he left for college a year earlier and at the end of that year we just knew it wasn't right anymore...if he hadn't done it then, i would have in less than 6 months. he didn't cheat or anything, we just knew it wasn't working anymore. i have great memories of him and our time together, and what we learned from each other and we remained friends for many years after that.
if you don't have this sort of pure trust in this guy, don't give him your virginity, because your first time should never have any regrets.
2006-07-07 07:06:10 · answer #1 · answered by ladylawyer26 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Self determination is what gives each person their personality. I begin to wonder about your sig. other's personality, but that's not the question. Do what you feel is best, and if that will lead to a breakup, I am sincerely sorry. Here's the thing, I'm a guy so I know, (how old are you? High school? College?) this guy could be madly in love with you, or want the pleasures of your company. If you tell him no, no making love, and he accepts your decision... he is madly in love with you. If he tries to persuade you, I would assume that he wants your pleasures.
Bottom line, make your own decision... but as Lance Armstrong said, (or something like it in Dodgeball) "everyone needs something to regret their whole life." If you're going to regret this, DON'T.
Best wishes,
Karl
2006-07-07 06:50:23 · answer #2 · answered by Krazy Karl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to look at the BIG picture are you ready for this big of a step? Having sex is one of the biggest things a person will do. Sometimes it can be the wrong choice too. Do you want to be added to his list? Don't you feel that you should be special? In the end you are the only one that knows if you should sleep with this man, but my advice is that you should wait for the man that you can't imagine living without..... Follow your heart
2006-07-07 06:58:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you have doubts about this tells it all. I don't blame you I wouldn't want to feel bad about myself either. A summer relationship is not well founded enough to enter into a sexual relationship. You will feel empty and abandoned. You are smart to question and reach out for other opinions about this situation. Smart girl. Why don't you just keep things as they are and see what happens. You've gone 3yrs without sex and given the fact you don't see each other that much I can't see that this would enhance the relationship. Give yourself time.
2006-07-07 06:54:26 · answer #4 · answered by c.nolan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked him about this? Do you really think he loves you? If he loves you then it isn't just that he wants to do it. If he's good for you he'll understand you're point of view. I think you need to talk to him so he gets where you're coming from. If you only see him in the summer then maybe it's better not to b/c what is he doing all year, you don't know...
2006-07-07 06:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by ~*brown_eyed_girl*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok.. first of you say you have been bf/gr for 3yrs.. but you only see him in the Summer... How old are you..? Is this a long distance relationship?
YOU and only YOU can decide if this is what you want.... relationship, marriages, unions.. fall apart everyday... you will one day have to give it up... but don't do it unless you are ready to!
Do you think he will leave you once he has gotten your love..? Do you think he will stay? What are you feelings on that...?
We here at yahoo answers cannot tell you what to do with your body.. or yoru love... We can only suggest... but ultimately sweetheart.......... it is totally up to YOU!
2006-07-07 06:49:17 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine_Diva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it.. I am in the same position as you.. I'm almost at 3 years and my bf was suggesting that we should have sex so this way we will have a reason to get married. Which is stupid. He also was suggesting it because he wants to you know..screw me, and he's worried that what if we break up and he doesn't get a chance to do me. Which again IS Stupid.. so clearly tell him that you're not ready and would like to wait.
2006-07-07 06:59:32 · answer #7 · answered by Bella N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is most likely having sex with other people why you are not around and is probably purshing you to have sex soon because he knows the summer is ending soon. If you have any doubts about having sex with him you shouldn't have sex than. And if he is the type of guy who has a f*** list in the first place, you don't want your first time to be with someone like that anyway.
2006-07-07 06:48:36 · answer #8 · answered by LadyD1019 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends how young you are, 3 years is a long time. But if you are a firm believer in no sex before marriage then you shouldn't have sex.
If you are not a believer in sex before marriage, then what the hell are you doing , woman? If you want sex have it on your terms, then enjoy it for what it is. If you don't feel ready to share your self with him or, feel you may regret it, then don't.
Remember, sex is good, sex is fun and enjoyable. Just make sure it's on your terms, make sure you're pleasured, and make sure it's safe!!!.
Good luck.
2006-07-07 06:52:55 · answer #9 · answered by zero Tolerance 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you are questioning weither or not you are ready yet than you probably should keep waiting. You are right about being added to his list, but your going to be on someones list unless you decided you want to wait until you get married. I say you start your own list! call it the "WORTHY" list and decide if you think he is worthy enough to be on your list or not!! Good luck. If you dont want it to happen then do not set yourself up for it to happen! example: dont go to any dark places alone with him. Theres is so much emotional stuff that comes with loosing your virginity. Be prepaired!
2006-07-07 06:52:52 · answer #10 · answered by alsgirl_4ever 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋