2006-07-07 06:01:24 · 3 answers · asked by saber s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh honey, I am so sorry you are scared. This IS a very difficult experiance you are about to go through. I understand your culture is differant from mine. It is Ok for people to have different cultures. I know most parents who make an arranged marriage for their children love their children and do want their happiness. However, this does not change the fact you have to marry a many you barely know and go live with his family in a place you are not familiar with.
The best advice I can give is for you to join in with the family and community you will be joining. Allow yourself to get to know these people and offer out your hand in friendship. Just keep your honor and integrety, treat yourself with honor and respect and most others will as well. Conduct yourself well, allow yourself to be a part of your new life with your new family. But, hold back a tiny bit of your heart while you get to know these people. Treat them with respect and honor always, but do not give your entire heart away untill you know those who you give it to will hold it with care. This way you can be a part of your new home and family while getting to know everyone and find out who you can trust. Just behave with honor and respect, treat others how you wish to be treated and everything will work out.
There will be those who willl not like you. Not because there is anything wrong with you, but because not everybody will like us. There will be those who just decide they don't like us for what seems no reason at all. It could be because they are jealous, or afraid, but whatever the reason it is best to just continue to treat them with respect. When you do you will be showing your new family what you are made of and they will respect you for that. When you conduct yourself with honor and respect others will treat you that way as well. When you treat all with respect, even those who do not really deserve it, those who like, and want you will see what a good person you are and they will come to love you deeply. Be an example and bring honor to your new family, yourself and your birth family. These people are going to be the family of your children, your childrens birth family. You will want to create a healthy enviroment for your children.
When you go to live with your husband depend on him to be your friend. Respect him and he will respect you. Build your relationship with your husband slowly. Know it will take a while for it to grow into a strong and harmonious relationship in which a deep and abiding love can grow. You can grow to love your husband and he you. Arranged marriages do not have to be loveless. You do not have to wait for your children to be born to have love in your life. Treat him as you wish to be treated. Talk with him about your fears, insecurities, worries. Let him know you are committed to him and want to be a large part of his life, but know it will take time, that you would llike to start with friendship. Do so with the other members of your new family as well. Just hold a part of yourself back with the others untill you can see which will truly welcome you and which will not. Then those who truly welcome your presense you can freely begin to build up solid relationships.
God will be with you. Let his spirit guide you. Let him comfort you while you face this challenge and build up your knew relationships. Trust in your parents, and allow yourself to befriend your new husband. Treat him with respect always, and put his needs first. Everything will be Ok. God will ensure it is so if you stay true to who you are and continue to behave with respect and honor in your daily life. Blessed Be.
2006-07-07 06:21:28 · answer #1 · answered by Serenity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, what??????????
i didnt understand your question.
are you trying to ask:
"how do you get married and live in a different place where you feel like a stranger?"
are you getting married to someone you dont know very well? are you then moving to where that person lives? do you feel scared about this?
dont worry too much about the future. first think about yourself. ask yourself: do i love this person to marry them? if i marry them, will our life be okay in another place?
if you two love eachother, it doesnt matter where you live and how many people you know. what matters is that you love eachother and support eachother all the way.
you will learn to love the place where you will live and you will not be a stanger too long.
dont stress
2006-07-07 13:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by All4Christ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT?
2006-07-07 13:14:31 · answer #3 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋