What do you think about this situation?

Question

I'm 19 years old and when ever I decide to go out with friends my dad always questions my mom....he never comes to me about it, but he always goes to her. My mom told me that if anything goes wrong in my life he'll blame her (my mom) it seems like every time i go out he's always questioning my mom, and then she tells me....why do u think he's like this? Why can't he just talk to me about it? thanks

Answer 1

Maybe your farther is afraid to loose you because you're growing up. Most farther are like that everyday, even mothers. Ask your farther why he can't talk about it and how you feel about him worrying about you so much if it gets serious. Sooner or later he going have to let you go.

Answer 2

Your father probably don't want to come at you in the wrong way. He thinks your mother knows how to talk to you better without being too aggressive. Also some men think women can relate to one another. Also maybe your father doesn't want to be the "bad" person. He doesn't want his little girl to be mad at him. Your father loves you and he only wants the best for you. Maybe you should try going to your father about some things. I feel your mom is wrong for telling you what your father says. The reason he says if something happens to you he will blame your mom is because obviously your mom is the one who allows you to go out. He probably don't want you to go, but your mom talks to him and tell him to let you go. You have a caring father be glad. A lot of young teenagers don't have that. Why don't you take time out with your father.

Answer 3

Dads get nervous around their daughters when they get to your age, so a lot of times they prefer the information second hand from their wives so they can "digest and discuss" it with someone they believe understands the daughter better. It's very scary for some dads - they remember how they behaved at your age, and they worry that you might not make good decisions. If you really love and care about your dad, take him out to lunch/dinner and tell him some fun stories about your life - stuff that won't scare him. Then when you go out, he won't be so nervous about what you're doing. Also, show an interest in what he likes to do - you'll find that you will reach him better if you talk to him about stuff he likes. You're not a kid anymore, so it's time to start building a friendship with your folks instead of a dependent child & caretaking adult relationship.

Answer 4

There could be a reason why your dad is not comfortable talking to you. The communication line is not good between you and your father. Your father should stop blaming your mom for the wrong doings in your life. Sit both of your parents down and talk to your dad. Make sure that you're honest and find out why is he afraid of talking to you. Your mom shouldn't be his messenger and it is up to him to talk to you about certain events that are going on in your life. Hang in there and see what happens. Good luck.

Answer 5

I was in that very same situation. Except that when I did get into trouble, that's when my dad spoke to me. Maybe he feels that you, being 19 may have more of a bond with your mother (woman to woman) and probably doesn't want to approach you with certain subjects like (sex, condoms and stuff). Seems stupid but, dads have this way of thinking that we will always be 6 years old (daddy's little girl) and never a woman. Know what I mean?

Answer 6

Sound like he's afraid he'll hurt your feelings. It''s easier for the parents to talk and convey their thoughts to each other, but when it comes to children, the father talks to the son and the mother talks to the daughter. Mothers seem to understand their children better than fathers do.
If you want him to talk to you, tell him. Let him know that you'd like his input about what you're doing. Ask him if he approves. Let him know you have nothing to hide.

Answer 7

You should go to your dad and explain to him that you are no longer a little girl and that you can answer any question that he has for you. He simply does not want you to grow up and become a strong, independent woman, he wants you to always need him.

Answer 8

seems to me like ur dad is just afraid of confronting you about something like your communication is really bad, hes much more comfortable with your mom so he goes to her maybe you should sit him down and talk with him for a long while.

Answer 9

hey sweetie i think that your dad wonders what your doing when you go out with your friends and why your mom would allow you to go out without knowing exactly i think hes just a little too over protective as are most fathers of their little girls most fathers get very uncomfortable when they have to talk to their daughters one on one because they don't know how to word what they have to say it easy for father and son and mother and daughter but when they have to switch its hard it would be like yougoing to your dad talking to him about your period =) its just uncomfortable

Answer 10

your father will always see u as a little girl. my dad askes my mom what to buy me for Christmas and im 22 yrs old...lol