please someone im very frustrated...help?

Question

my husband and I have been trying to conceive for 5 months now and its just not happening. we dont use protection, we make sure we have sex on my fertile days and we dont constantly think about it....its just not happening what am I doing wrong? this is starting to make me feel less of a woman. i expect my period tomorrow

Answer 1

it can take up to a year to get pregnant. if you were on the pill or had an iud taken out before you started trying that can make it take awhile. just relax. if you're really concerned, see your obgyn. but otherwise, keep on trying.

Answer 2

You don't mention if you have any children already. Five months is not a long time in the conception world. That's only 5 possible chances to get pregnant. However, I know it seems like forever. Most fertility specialists tell women to try for a year before they do any interventions.
Make sure you stay lying down for an hour after intercourse. Give those little guys a chance to swim without going uphill.
Don't douche and have relations every other day during your fertile period instead of every day.
Those are the first few things to try. Good luck and I hope you have a happy pregnancy soon.

Answer 3

I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this. We have been there, and our heart goes out to you. I know and remember that feeling well, especially those pregnancy tests that kept coming back negative!!!!!!UGH! I will tell you that most obstreticians and even nurse midwives, will tell you and your husband to try for at least a year. I am sure you know about the cycle, and when it is peak times to try. I know, I know, sex then becomes a chore, and not something you enjoy! : ( However, first have you had a good gyn. checkup? Has your husband had a good physical? You want to make sure that you both are in the best shape physically, mentally, etc. It does mean something but not everything. I think also you want to keep in mind that you don't have sex every day during your fertile days, but every other day. You need to give yourselves a rest. Also, believe it or not, that I'm going to write this but does your husband wear boxers or briefs? If he is wearing briefs, tell him for this period of trying to conceive a baby, to switch to boxers!!! I would just keep doing what you do, make the best of it, and when it is meant to be, it'll all happen within a year(I know, seems like forever when you hear that!)However if you have an irregular cycle or any problems or your husband has a varicocele, than you want to go to a doctor to get help. Sometimes even taken certain medicines from the doc, help to jumpstart your fertility level. I know that for us, we were Blessed with one child biologically and then after numerous years, etc of trying all sorts of things, except in vitro(personal choice not to for us)we opted to adopt and now have 3 beautiful teens, 13 years later! So, open your hearts, your mind, and stay as stressfree as possible, when the time is right, you will have a child!! GOOD LUCK! Our thoughts and prayers go out to you! We can be contacted by emailing me at [e-mail] if you want to talk, vent, or for support. : )

Answer 4

1) don't stress or even think about it. Your subconscience has a lot to do with your bodies functions.
Sometimes it's like love: it comes when you aren't looking for it.
2)see your doctor-they will probably say the same thing and then ask you to come back in a few months if you are still concerned.
Mostly, don't let this issue make you feel less of a woman. A woman is not her womb. We all have talents and gifts, enjoy who you are in entirety. You are still sexy, still desirable, still entertaining..just relax. And your husband should relax too. There can be a lot of stress on his part, same doubts and anxieties. Just enjoy eachother and don't put so much stress on eachother. Good luck and God bless.
-the comment about the birthcontrol is very important too. If you've been on the pill or any long term birthcontrol it can take time for the effects of that to leave your system. If you recently stopped..you may be awhile yet before your detoxed. So, don't worry. You shouldn't be starting the clock yet.

Answer 5

My husband and I got pregnant the first week we tried, so here is what you can try. After your period is over (make sure you are taking a prenatal vitamine, folic acid) start having sex every other day, only once a day. So say your period end on the 12th, have sex the 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, 26, 28. Make sure to only to have sex once a day, as the males sperm count depleats with every ejaculation after the initial one. Also, after you finish sex, put a pillow under your bum, to help keep and direct the sperm. I know that sounds silly, but if you get up after sex, everything is going to leak back out or they will have a harder time swimming up. And this is the best one, when you are laying there directing his sperm, mentally picture his sperm finding your egg, visualization can really work, and keeps you relaxed. Good luck, let me know if it works.

Answer 6

Yes, relax and stop worrying so much as stress can make you less likely to conceive. Just enjoy your life and think about how it will feel to hold your baby in your arms. It doesnt make you less of a woman to not be able to conceive. Look on the bright side, at least you arent so fertile you have 2nd pregnancy at 6 week checkup post delivery. I really knew a lady who had that happen. When you get pregnant you will be able to enjoy your child.

Answer 7

Do not listen to people who tell you "relax, it will happen". If you've ever been in the position, you know that's not helpful.

It took me 5 years to conceive my son. And when I did finally get pregnant, it was not because I was "relaxed". It happened during one of the most stressful times in my life.

First, buy this book: Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060937645/sr=8-1/qid=1152290038/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-9057232-8627201?ie=UTF8 It is amazing how much we think we know about our bodies, that we really don't know.

Second, if you're ready go see your doctor for a referal and testing. It's a road I chose not to pursue personally, but if you're ready for that route, go. You may find a simple explanation. If there is a problem and you will need treatment, better to start now... waiting lists can be huge!

Third, find an online community of like-minded women. I would have recommended http://www.thelaboroflove.com/ (which is where I found support) but they closed down their message boards a few years ago. There's still loads of journals and support there though.

Answer 8

I had kinda the same problem. After my first child I got on the birth control shot called "Depo Provera" and it was all fine and dandy. I was on it for about 3-4 yrs and finally decided I wanted another child. I got off the depo and was TTC for a LOOOONNNNGGGG time. I FINALLY conceived after trying for almost 2 1/2 years. What I found to work (and Im not joking or trying to make light of the situation) is this: Dont "TRY" so hard. Keep doing the deed w/o protection but dont stress on the fact you are "trying" to get pregnant. Also, some foods/meds can affect your mans sperm count so check up on it online. There are plenty of resources. If you wish for me to privately email with you some things I found to help, please email me privately and I would be more than happy to give you advice/help. Msg me from my profile.

Answer 9

My wife and I took years. That may some times be what makes being a parent a true miracle. For example I love my son so much a can't imagine what it would be like to love anyone else. It's like the person he is was meant to be, but if there had bin any changes in how he came to be it could have changed who he is now. when it comes to making a new Little person you can't put a schedule on it . It will happen when it happens not a second more.

Answer 10

this may disappoint you but the average woman takes 12 months to conceive, so 5 months is normal. I know you said you aren't constantly thinking about it and stressing about it, but your post seems to suggest that you are.

If nothing happens naturally after a good year, then see your doctor about having some tests. you could take a look at www.fertilityfriend.com for tips or take a look at taking charge of your fertility book for hints and advice.

Good luck

Answer 11

Best of Luck!!

Fuel up on folic acid, Quit smoking, drinking and drugs now, Cut down on Caffeine, Get your weight in check, Timing is Everything, Buy something sexy.

Many experts suspect that the missionary position (man on top) provides the best opportunity for getting pregnant, though no definitive studies have been done on this question. This position allows for the deepest penetration which deposits sperm closer to the cervix. For additional effectiveness, the woman can try elevating her hips with a pillow so her cervix is exposed to the maximum amount of semen. Other positions could be Rear entry and lying side-by-side. Avoid woman on top, standing, or leaning positions, which discourage the flow of semen to the uterus.

Increase the Odds

Make your vaginal environment as sperm-friendly as possible. Avoid vaginal sprays and scented tampons, artificial lubricants, and douching. Not only can they cause infections, they may wash away cervical mucus or create a hostile environment for the sperm.

If you find that your cervical mucus is not as conducive of getting pregnant as it should be, you may want to try a specific type of lubricant. Pre-Seed lubricant is the sperm friendly choice of many people trying to get pregnant. After intercourse, elevate your hips on a pillow for about fifteen minutes.