I knew the women and we were suppose to be friends. Any way he says they mostly complained about there spouse meaning me and her about her husband. He told me they cybered but what he did was tell her what he wanted to do to me and what he wished i would do. i found a lot of the chats and she persued him. Do you think this is cheating? I made him leave but let him come back to try to work things out we have three children under 5. He said he only talk to her cause he was lonely. I was working second shift and he was home with 2 of the kids. He claimed cause i was working second we didn't feel like a couple. I was pregnant at the time it started also. he says he was not getting enough attention neither was I. I told him i was feeling neglected he never told me. Sorry if this is to much info or not enough lol.
2006-07-07 04:59:43 · 29 answers · asked by SiberianHusky_8 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had the baby He is now a year old. My husband keeps promising he tried to st6op right after it started and she claimed she was going to tell me and make it sound worse than it was what she and he didn't know is i have the history on on my msn lol any how she mostly wrote him but he did respond so by no means is he inoccent. If some one was persuing you what would you do.
2006-07-07 05:12:59 · update #1
I dumped the B**** the day I found out she sent him a text theating to tell me if he didn't start talking to her again.
2006-07-07 05:14:46 · update #2
I dumped the B**** the day I found out she sent him a text saying she was going to tell me if he didn't start talking to her again.
2006-07-07 05:15:28 · update #3
I stopped talking to her the moment i found out.
2006-07-07 05:16:25 · update #4
Yes he did cheat on you. I've been in a similar situation, though not as bad. To me it was cheating. It hurt on an emotional level, not only because of what was going on, but because of the lies involved with it too. I do think though it isn't something the two of you cannot get passed. You need to now be honest with each other about each of your needs. Be honest about what happened, and what you now want. While awful, it's not as bad as it could be. If you start now, you can get back the love and the trust that you may have lost.
Wishing you love and luck.
2006-07-07 06:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is cheating. It seems like you two are talking now and communicating your needs. Both were lonely and disconnected from each other. Work on that, I usually say there is no saving a marriage after cheating, but I get a different feeling from your situation. It is very important for you and your husband to have some alone "adult" time. Get a sitter and spend some quality time together, plan dates with each other, and get to know each other again. If there was no actual sex between those two, even though it is still cheating, I think you can still save your marriage. Get counseling and get more time alone together. Good Luck and God Bless.
2006-07-07 12:25:14 · answer #2 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a matter of he cheats or not. He should not turn to that woman for comfort. This is about fair, considerate and commitment as a partner.
He is married to you while at the same time you burst your a** to support the family and contributing to financial income.
This is a bit torturing for you and you have to stop him and explaning to him your wish and insecurities. You have the right to do so as his wife.
I am afraid that from his chatting turns into feelings, from feelings turn exchanging and then what, having affair?
Loneliness is not an excuse and not the best way to deal by being alone/internet-ing while you are working. Tell your husband he needs to smarten up and correct his 'loneliness' by occupying his time with extra activities ie like helping you with the house chores, joining clubs or gym or doing something.
I am not suggesting you should leave him but in your case, you did the right thing by leaving him before. If he doesnt want to clean up his attitude towards chatting with her, the best option is to go...again and forever. Ask him to get 2 jobs too!
2006-07-07 12:13:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all both of you have a problem, youre not communicating. If you had a good communication going this would never happen. What he did was wrong, personally I believe that youre a strong person to be dealing with this, and I really cant tell you what to do. But you need to know if he will evr do it again and you need to know if he ever physically cheated. Are YOU happy with him, do you want it to work? Furthermore the kids, u need help with the kids, dont do it for anyone else but yourself. YOU must be happy for yourself and your children. Have a sit down and talk about it.
2006-07-07 12:07:32 · answer #4 · answered by lovely girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's an emotional affair at the very least. But, you really need to evaluate your relationship and your husband's ability to adapt to change. He sounds very self centered. First of all, a man that can not financially support his wife during a pregnancy, neglects his children to "type" with another woman, then blames you for his ations IS NOT a man. You need to be careful, he sounds like he's on his way out anyway, and just looking for any excuse. Sorry.
2006-07-07 12:10:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is having an emotional affair, even though it may not be physical or even verbal. I think you need to tell him that you FEEL cheated on and that if he does that again, you will feel the need to kick him out permanently. It can get quite frustrating for a man if he is temporarily unattracted to his pregnant spouse, and this is the time when you need his love the most. He needs to do the right thing and stand by you emotionally, EVEN IF it is difficult. I think you need to understand his frustration, BUT NOT to accept it as an excuse for his bad behavior. Hope this helps.
2006-07-07 12:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by newon_earth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all need relationships other than our spouse. Our spouse can't provide everything for us. However, if the spouse is not the priority there is a problem. It is not cheating to talk to another and to be friends. It is cheating if they need to lie about it.
With your small children you are all in a vulnerable time. Find a counselor and make things work. I'm pretty sure you can!
2006-07-07 12:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several things about this whole scenario. 1. She is a sorry friend. 2. He is a sorry husband. 3. Yes, he cheated! 4. He was lonely.....SO WERE YOU!, and you were out busting your butt to help pay the bills. 5. Kick him to the curb. 6. Tell your "friend" to never contact you again. 7. Good Luck!
2006-07-07 12:06:59 · answer #8 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep such a naughty husband....you should never look outside the relationship to fix things within the marriage... like turning to parents asking for advice, turning to co workers for support, these things just dont work out well. If a marriage is in trouble the only place you should turn to for help is church or therapy.
2006-07-07 12:36:15 · answer #9 · answered by trudie_barraza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who was taking care of the kids? sounds like they got neglected.
He cheated and violated your trust by revealing your marriage problems to women online --- that's not acceptible.
You guys need to communicate better ----I would think having one of you working 1st shift and the other on 2nd would keep you from paying out a lot of money in childcare----Or you both work first shift and put the kids in daycare(bite the bullet and shell out the cash)----either way you two will have to work out the issues and take care of those 3 kids.
2006-07-07 12:19:49 · answer #10 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋