very possible problem!!!?

Question

i have had sex un protected a few times.. but my bf and i stopped doing that and i know the pull out method sucks but its what we used... and the last time.. a few weeks ago he said he wasnt sure if he got out in time. he has s job now trying to get money just in case i am pregnant
he's a good guy he wont leave if i am... we've talked it over... adoption ... well he was adopted and its not even an option... and im scared if i haveta get an abortion behind my parents back.... please understand that if i tell them i wont have anywhere to live anymore...
so im wondering if i should happen to be pregnant.... what should i do?? please dont give me any mom and dad answers like.. you shouldnt have done it or go tell the parents cuz i cant do that....

Answer 1

First, find out if you are pregnant. If you are old enough to do it, you are also old enough to follow up on the consequences - so stop the garbage about us not speaking like parents.

Face it - you're still a kid yourself. Even if you are old enough to marry/have a kid/whatever............. you will actually need to do it - so there is no point expecting a miracle here that gives you an option of doing nothing at all. The only miracle you might get is in a drugstore. Its called a home pregnancy test and pray it comes out -ve.

If it is positive, the best option for you is to confide in your parents and ask for help. There will be some thunder, but you cannot exactly enjoy whatever you like and expect there to be no consequences. So grow up, face things, accept that you have been careless, and get through this difficult time with their help. They may scream - but so would you, if it was your daughter getting pregnant like that - you would still love her.

Secret abortions, while not impossible, are best avoided for the very reasons you list, and some more I would rather not list here. Even if you have to go for an abortion, get the support of your parents, and go to a reputable place. Let them be there for you in this time - their experience of the emotions of this age, pregnancy, responsibilities, doctors, and the world in general is more to be relied than that of a boyfriend who may have gotten you in this problem in the first place.

Answer 2

this is such a scary time in a girls life, waiting to find out if your pregnant when you don't want to be. I just had a baby, and I often thought that if I got pregnant before I got married that I too would abort. However, once your find out you have this little person growing inside of you, it is a whole different situation. From the moment of conception there is another life in you, and abortion is just not the way to go. If you end up being pregnant, I would wait a few months (no one will be able to tell), work it out with your bf and your finances, and then sit down with your parents, and explain to them the situation and how you intend to handle it. If they know that you have a financial plan and that you are acting very grown up about this, they may see it in a different light. Adoption is also another great route, if you need help with that I can give you some suggestions.

Answer 3

I will try and not sound condescending or like your Father in my response, and I am ultra conservative so take this with a grain of salt.

You need to be prepared for the long term effects of the abortion. I have many friends that have gone down that path and years later cannot deal with the regret and quilt. I am not saying that you might, but you should consider this.

On the other hand, I know there is the day after pill that you should look into, unless it is now too late for this to be an option, and this would stop the PG before there is life.

And finally, I know there are some extremely good adoption agencies out there, i.e. LDS Social Services for e.g. that will assure your child will be placed well with deserving candidates and offer you choice of post adoption privileges.

Good luck with this decision.

Answer 4

First, do try to control yourselves and abstain from sex at least until you know for sure about this situation. If you miss your period, take a pregnancy test around two weeks past your missed cycle. It will have a greater chance of accuracy then.

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but the coitus interruptus method is flawed. Sperm can travel from the vaginal opening and one of those little buggars is all it takes to fertilize an egg.

Now, I know my beliefs may not coincide with yours, but having an abortion is the worst thing you could do. A fetus is not a blob of tissue; it is a life, and I strongly believe you will be adding murder to the list of problems you are dealing with. What is not being publicized in news mags is that MANY women who have abortions suffer psychological dysfunction due to guilt and remorse. The Planned Parenthood coalition doesn't want anyone to know that.

You say your bf won't leave you. Good. He will not be "adopting" the baby; he is already the father. If it turns out you do get pregnant, the best thing the two of you can do is take responsibility for the life you have created. It sounds like your guy has already taken steps in that direction. I commend both of you.

Answer 5

There is a chance that you are pregnant because even if you and your boyfriend did use the pullout method, there is a thing called pre-ejaculate that comes out of the penis before the guy actually ejaculates. The pullout method is not a good idea. I am sorry to say it but an abortion may be the option you may have to take, i hate doing things behind my parents back too but its all your decision. I am not trying to give you a parent-answer (i am only 16 years old) many people have told me that i shouldnt of had sex either, but they dont know what their missing (haha) wait until your next menstrual cycle to see if you are pregnant or not, contact your doctor too, because they will help you out, you can call them and talk to them over the phone, and tell them that it is purely confidential and that they cannot tell your parents. They will have the best advice.

Answer 6

if you think an abortion is best then do that. Adoption is very hard too. If you are pregnant and want to keep your child, there is a lot of help out there for teen moms. If your parents find out and kick you out, discuss moving in with the b/f's parents or try and get into subsidized housing, your parents will come around eventually and learn to accept it, mine did. If you decide to keep it, start apartment hunting and try and figure out if you want to go on weelfare or work and collect maternity leave. But first of all go get a pregnancy test done, either by your doctor or local health unit or go buy one. If you are then start thinking about what YOU need to do

Answer 7

How old are you anyway???? If you're in your early teens, you shouldn't have been screwing around. And if you're in your late teens, you should have known better!
The fact of the matter is, you should NOT have been having sex if you weren't ready for the repercussions. This is a fact of life...unprotected sex = pregnancy. Pure and simple.

You may need to tell your folks; I suspect they will be a lot more understanding than you think they might. They may require an abortion, or they may require full-term pregnancy & adoption, or they may require that you keep the baby yourself and raise it (with or without their help). If you're living under their roof, and you want to continue to do so, you may need to do as they say. Another rule of growing up.

For your sake and the sake of your boyfriend, I hope you're not pregnant. Have you taken a home-pregnancy test yet? If not, you should do it soon...like the 1st day of your missed period or as soon as 3-4 weeks after your "incident."

If you are not pregnant, you need to get yourself to a Planned Parenthood clinic RIGHT NOW. You can get the pill or the shot at a reduced cost or free; they don't talk to your folks, and they don't lecture. They are there to help. Also, there are other ways to obtain sexual pleasure without having intercourse. Ever heard of mutual masturbation or oral sex?

Answer 8

First off your not sure you are prego or not so I would wait until you know 100% that you are before you majorly stress over it. Then you will know that you never want to go through this stress again...get on birth control or use a condom something so you don't put you and your boyfriend through this again.

As for what to do...really you have not given yourself a lot of options. You say adoption is out of the question and you don't want to get an abortion either. So that leaves having a baby and caring for the child...which your parents will know doubt found out about more sooner...than later. You have to decide what is right for your future.

Answer 9

First of all...the pull out method does not work because the entire time you are having sex, small drops of semen are going from him into you. How are you so sure that your parents will put you out? Was it done to an older sister perhaps? Faced in times like these, it's difficult to predict how your parents will behave. They may lecture but rally behind you. You were old enough to think you were responsible, so if you are pregnant it's time to face that responsibility. Continue to talk it over with your boyfriend and if you got lucky this time are are not pregnant, learn a lesson and get birth control or use protection.

Answer 10

You are in a spot aren't you. Well you said you can't tell your parents and ABORTION should be out of the question if adoption is too, abortion should never be an issue at all- go to the abortion.com and see what you will be doing to your baby! My husband and i got pregnant in Dec'06 using the pull out method and we lost the baby at 20 weeks due to a umbilical cord issue. Don't abort it please, adoption is best! You will regret the abortion I assure you and it will more than likely ruin your relationship with him too, Just work thru it it's not the end of the world I promise, just give motherhood a chance