Together, we have four sets of parents (step/real), plus brothers, sisters, grandparents, and aunts/uncles who are all very excited. We do not want to chose any one person over another because of hurt feelings, but I also do not want to interrupt my newborn's sleep with visitations, and we want some alone time with her. What are some of your suggestions?
2006-07-07 04:26:06 · 12 answers · asked by Tasha 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
The same thing happened with my husband's family...both of his parents are divorced and remarried, and he has two brothers, a sister, step brothers and sisters (from both remarriages), nephews, etc. We didn't so much make a schedule as we did just to ask people to call first before they came over. Our main rule was NO VISITORS FOR A WEEK. Most of his immediate family (parents and siblings) came to see us in the hospital during visiting hours, and they were very respectful of our privacy and quiet time, they washed their hands, didn't make a lot of noise to wake the baby up, etc. The no visiting for a week thing was once we were home...we just told them point blank that the baby and I had been through a lot, we needed time to bond and adjust and have the baby get used to his new surroundings, and that this was our child and these were our wishes. If you don't like it, tough. We asked everyone (and not just during the newborn phase....during my whole 3 month maternity leave) to call before they came over. If it wasn't a good time (baby was having a hard time latching on and I was frazzled, everyone was sleeping and we weren't up for visitors, etc.) my husband just said, "I'm sorry...right now isn't good. Call back in an hour." As long as you're kind about it, anyone in your families who has had a baby knows what it's like and should respect your wishes. Everyone loves babies, but they also have to realize that a baby has been through (and the mother, too!) so much and needs time to adjust without being passed around like a football.
2006-07-07 05:42:24 · answer #1 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the parents first, then siblings, then grandparents, then friends (or parents and grandparents together).
Everyone has a schedule, and people will stop coming over as much once the baby gets a few months old, but tell people that they must call like at least two days ahead of the time that they plan on coming, and the day before or of so that you can be more prepared. Just think of it as a resting time for you, someone else occupying your baby for a little while, trust me you'll have enough time with them.
2006-07-07 12:25:07 · answer #2 · answered by Kay Eliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could invite one set of parents, along with the brother, sister, etc at one time. Not everyone wants to hold a newborn - a lot of men and a few women are afraid. Let them stay an hour or two. Do it all in one swipe, then invite another set of parents/family another day. This may not tire you and the baby out as much as constant visiting and pop-ins.
2006-07-07 11:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by The Older Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question. I am not looking forward to this when I have kids. My mom and dad cannot be in the same area at the same time. But I plan to have very clear boundaries. I want to share that time with my family, but I will nicely send everyone away of it starts getting more stressful than helpful. I think there's a tactful way to set boundaries with family, and they should understand your need to recover and adjust to your new baby. When you discuss it with them, just be clear that you love them, want them to be involved, but need to introduce them all slowly.
Some ideas:
Get everyone's e-mail address and send them daily digital photos or mini-videos. Allow them to speak to the baby (well, hear his/her cooing anyway) and your stepson on the phone and share their excitement that way. Tell them how they can best support you so that they feel like they can have a part in it. Maybe you'll ask a few relatives over each day and ask them to bring a meal so you don't have to cook for a crowd.
It's great to have a large family that wants to be involved! Just be sure you get the rest and alone time with baby that you need and don't be bashful about setting limits to visitations. Family will understand.
2006-07-07 11:35:28 · answer #4 · answered by kbis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you bring everyone over at the same time in a kind of family reunion kind of sense. Yes, it will be busy for you and baby but when it is over, it's over.
As a parent of two I must say you will have plenty of time with your new child. Now my daughter is 2 and my son just turned 1 and I wish someone would come visit!
2006-07-07 11:33:59 · answer #5 · answered by Quintin G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner and I have 3 daughters together..... In the first couple of weeks of each of their births we asked that only close family come to visit.... Our friends were understanding enough to know that birth is very tiring... they gave us the time we needed to recoup after birth and let us settle. You have to go as you feel. Baby does have a certain amount of time they are awake.... If you know when you're baby will be awake and maybe up to visitation then by all means invite some mates over to see your bundle of joy!
2006-07-07 11:34:37 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle LL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would send out invitations to one large party to se the baby, start sending now and have the party in a few weeks, let people know on the invites that you are tired from the delivery and you want the baby to adjust and from advice from your doctor you want to wait a few weeks until the party to have people over- write also no gifts please on the bottom so people wont feel like it's something just to get more gifts,good luck and I totally understand your situation
2006-07-07 11:32:15 · answer #7 · answered by momie_2bee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you throw a little get to know the baby party. that way they can all see the little one at once, and no ones feelings will be hurt. you can also tell people that they can come between this time and this time, but no other time. they will respect that. most of them know your a new parent, and will understand. Good luck
2006-07-07 11:46:26 · answer #8 · answered by fandj4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let parents/ step parents come by first then siblings then grandparents put them on a schedule that works around the baby's sleep schedule
2006-07-07 11:30:22 · answer #9 · answered by Shanika1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them to call to see if it's ok to come over. Then keep track of whose been there and who hasn't. Good Luck.
2006-07-07 11:52:47 · answer #10 · answered by jess_brenda_04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋